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Eddie Hitler
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PostPosted: 07:11 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
ridelikeasaint wrote:
also a second job as a paid musician, most of my weekends are full of things I need to do so I can't afford to mess around.


Interesting, band/session work or?
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slowlydoesit
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PostPosted: 09:05 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
ridelikeasaint wrote:
Eh. There's truth in the old saying nice guys finish last, you know.

Being "incredibly driven to succeed" is not in itself a guarantee of success...
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 10:21 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
I've often found the most driven are the least able. It's why so many companies and corporations are run by utter fucktards.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 11:01 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Totally off topic but I once read somewhere that a certain failing in most of us is that we aspire to do things that we aren't really very good at.

So idiots will try very hard indeed to get into a position that they consider to have the prestige that they want attached to themselves. Yet they only think it's prestigious because they childishly admire the ones who are good at it.

Hence loads of really stupid people getting in way over their heads and not even realising how bad they are at what they do.

Anyway POF thread update from me... Hmmmm nothing to add Very Happy Laughing
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rideslikean00...
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Joined: 26 May 2014
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PostPosted: 15:50 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Omega wrote:
How's being a cunt working out for you so far? I try to be a nice guy and don't have to working rediculous hours every week like you're having to. Sounds more like you're acting the twat to compensate for something. Like you actually lack ambition and drive but want people to believe you're some high roller Laughing


Well that latter part would have been true a couple of years ago when I was just coasting through life, but now I work hard and get paid well for my troubles, lack of free time aside I love my life, I have two jobs which are pretty close to what my dream jobs would be, lack of free time aside it's a comfortable living and I want for nothing. Far from being rich, but I get by and money isn't a worry, always meet new people, make a good impression etc. Just cos I come across a bit cocky and self-righteous on here don't mean I'm always like that in real life, otherwise I would have no friends and a horrible McJob, I'm sure.
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rideslikean00...
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Joined: 26 May 2014
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PostPosted: 16:00 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Eddie Hitler wrote:
ridelikeasaint wrote:
also a second job as a paid musician, most of my weekends are full of things I need to do so I can't afford to mess around.


Interesting, band/session work or?


Done session work before, didn't like it. I'm not a good sight reader even though I'm a decent player so that counted against me, it was all too scripted for my liking. Current project is a covers band playing regular pub gigs, some reception hall type stuff (did a wedding gig yesterday) and the odd festival. Pays well for what it is, I find it amusing playing 2 hours of music in an evening can match or exceed my days wage/commission in my motor trade job. Drummer is an interesting fella, works for a special effects company providing practical stuff and some CGI for films, does music as a hobby and is pretty good at it.

We're a good band and it's good money but it's sad how little response most gigs get. They pay the same either way, but it seems the case that you can hear a pin drop between songs like people have forgotten how to clap. Ah well. Less response means less encores (or none) and getting home to bed earlier. Also less people coming up going "you rock man..." and asking endless questions about my choice of guitars... I used to be a guitar nerd so I know why they do it, but still!
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 18:14 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
^^^^^ I wasn't gonna join in on this but man you really do like to tell everyone about yourself and then some.

What was this thread about again? Very Happy

---------

Ok I'll spill the beans - I do have an update. Nothing special though.

Since my mate is with me and he's all over the POF thing and is now just as mad on OKCupid since I told him about it, I am now also spending my downtime surfing all these sorts websites just for the hell of it. I kind of ended up on some random Chinese one (because I'll be there next month), which I signed up to and have had a fair amount of interest already, and five messages! But, I need to pay to see what they sent me. So never mind. I think they're all looking for marriage anyway. One of them is pretty hot, is an air hostess and says she prefers Western guys for various reasons, in a way that suggests she might be keen for a bit of a fling, so maybe I'll chase that one up when I get to China.

Feels a bit lame and cheaty though. Probably gonna see how the 'real world' of China treats me first.
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rideslikean00...
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Joined: 26 May 2014
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PostPosted: 19:59 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
^^^^^ I wasn't gonna join in on this but man you really do like to tell everyone about yourself and then some.

What was this thread about again? Very Happy


Well they asked, I told. It takes me all of two minutes to type this stuff, they can either read it or skip it or use the ignore function on me, I guess. Wink
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rideslikean00...
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PostPosted: 20:06 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lord Percy wrote:
Since my mate is with me and he's all over the POF thing and is now just as mad on OKCupid since I told him about it, I am now also spending my downtime surfing all these sorts websites just for the hell of it.


Is OKCupid any good now? When I last used it in about 2004 it was pretty awful, even living in London it didn't have a lot of good matches going about.
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Lord Percy
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PostPosted: 20:21 - 25 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
ridelikeasaint wrote:


Is OKCupid any good now? When I last used it in about 2004 it was pretty awful, even living in London it didn't have a lot of good matches going about.


I'll be honest and say it is pretty good now, for what it is. Although it's hard to overcome the general feeling of apathy you get from reading the majority of people's profiles. The women on there seem to prefer just writing about how awesome they think they are, and how awful they think all men are.

The plus side is that there are loads of people on it now, specially around London I guess.

Not that I've ever used it to it's full potential though Laughing . Read the whole thread to see some of my bitchy posts about how it's not 'real life' enough for me, then laugh at how I keep signing up again out of 'curiosity'...
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 04:17 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Been talking to a girl for a week now, tonight we went out on our first date.

She's very much type A, very driven, and kept saying what a very full and busy schedule she has. I think unlike a lot of the other girls I've been out with so far, she actually means it! It was nice to talk to someone with a strong and defined personality, with lots of opinions but also curiosity.

Had dinner, then walked around a shopping centre (so it we'd have airconditioning and less noise so we could actually talk) before heading for home. Remembering her profile's comment about liking forward and persistent men, I went in for a goodnight kiss, and she presented her cheek. Darn.

Something that was odd: she deliberately avoided telling me what her name was or her job until we met in person. She found it funny giving me clues and seeing if I could guess her job based on her photos and other things she'd said while we'd been messaging. I failed miserably, and she said there was no way anyone could ever have gotten it, but seems to be amused by watching people trying to figure it out.
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slowlydoesit
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Joined: 14 Oct 2012
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PostPosted: 07:44 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hetzer wrote:
I've often found the most driven are the least able. It's why so many companies and corporations are run by utter fucktards.

Disagree on that Hetz. Such people are very able at the game of catching the political drift of the organisation, working out where they should be to benefit from that trend, and inserting themselves into the right place to get the credit and plaudits. That in itself is a talent. Not one that I have, or would want, but certainly a skill in itself.

However, this does not exclude the possibility that they are also fucktards. Very Happy
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rideslikean00...
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PostPosted: 08:19 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
metalangel wrote:
She's very much type A, very driven, and kept saying what a very full and busy schedule she has.


It can be genuine when people say that, in some cases it's an excuse so they have time to decide what they want to do (i.e. they're indecisive, it's not that they are too busy, if something is important time can be taken from somewhere) but yeah, not always.

Oh, congrats on getting a proper date, one with what sounds like a non bunny boiling type! Very Happy

slowlydoesit wrote:
Such people are very able at the game of catching the political drift of the organisation, working out where they should be to benefit from that trend, and inserting themselves into the right place to get the credit and plaudits. That in itself is a talent. Not one that I have, or would want, but certainly a skill in itself.

However, this does not exclude the possibility that they are also fucktards. Very Happy


Yeah, but again in some cases people are very driven and genuinely excellent at what they do, too. The real tragedy is when people who have both the drive and ability are usurped by those who have only drive and are far more conniving. But then, who said life was fair: it ain't. Which is why you have to play it your way whenever you can get away with it.
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 12:04 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
slowlydoesit wrote:
Hetzer wrote:
I've often found the most driven are the least able. It's why so many companies and corporations are run by utter fucktards.

Disagree on that Hetz. Such people are very able at the game of catching the political drift of the organisation, working out where they should be to benefit from that trend, and inserting themselves into the right place to get the credit and plaudits. That in itself is a talent. Not one that I have, or would want, but certainly a skill in itself.

However, this does not exclude the possibility that they are also fucktards. Very Happy


Yeah. Fred Goodwin being a perfect example. Highly talented at lining his own pockets, totally destroyed an entire bank. Being that the primary purpose of the bank was anything but what he turned it into, despite it benefiting him personally to the max, it exposed him as an utter fucktard. Unless he did it deliberately (nothing indicates he did).

Sheer incompetence on an industrial scale and he's very much not alone. Most of these institutions make the money they do not because of the 'talent' of those running them but because they engage in blatant criminality that is sanctioned by the govt. Pretty much any idiot can succeed when all the rules are suspended/ignored like that. Eg: You owe me a £1 for this post, it's the law. Wink
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Hetzer
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PostPosted: 12:06 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
ridelikeasaint wrote:
But then, who said life was fair: it ain't. Which is why you have to play it your way whenever you can get away with it.


By that, you mean morality is not a consideration? Only the law is? Are you saying you're a Fred Goodwin?
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Eddie Hitler
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PostPosted: 13:10 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
ridelikeasaint wrote:
But then, who said life was fair: it ain't. Which is why you have to play it your way whenever you can get away with it.


This "life isn't fair".. "driven to succeed".. really doesn't sit with me. Choosing to live your life by your own rules and not bowing down to what other people think is a good mindset. I've been trying to cultivate this for a few years now. I'd rather be living in an apartment, just south of Rome with only £300 left after bills to get me through the month. Happy in the thought I have my motorbike sitting in the garage, a beautiful Italian wife and a job I enjoy. Compared to a massive fuck off pension living in London, unhappy even with my Ferrari sitting in my garage.

Extreme example, as everyone needs drive to accomplish what they want in life. So many people I know have done the uni, job, marriage and kids route I often think if they have sat down for a minute to actually think.

No need to have to get away with anything, being a decent human being already dictates an honest character. All these corrupt types can boast all they want, within myself I know it's just filling a void.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 13:44 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Would you tell a friend if the person they were seeing (and seeing exclusively) was on a dating site messaging people still? Or would you just leave it.

They are my best friend, and we share everything, but this doesn't sit right with me.
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 13:47 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
How do you know for sure they are still messaging people? If you're a real friend, you should be looking out for them and not wanting them to get messed about.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 13:51 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
How do you know for sure they are still messaging people? If you're a real friend, you should be looking out for them and not wanting them to get messed about.


I had a few concerns...so fake profile set up, message sent and a couple of hours later a reply, saying she wants a relationship (thought she was already in one?).

Thing is me and my friend have had a little falling out over her in the past, but they are my best friend and they don't have anyone looking out for them at the moment.

Massive part of me thinks tell them, they deserve to know that they are with someone lying/possibly cheating, but a tiny part of me thinks just leave it and be there for my friend when they need it.
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Tungtvann
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PostPosted: 13:54 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Is this the bisexual female friend of yours? In which case, it's probably going to be messy if you get involved, accusations about your intentions will be made and you'll be hated by somebody at some point. From my experience of seeing what lesbian women are like in relationships, they're fucking mental and should be best left to their own devices.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 13:58 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
Tungtvann wrote:
Is this the bisexual female friend of yours? In which case, it's probably going to be messy if you get involved, accusations about your intentions will be made and you'll be hated by somebody at some point. From my experience of seeing what lesbian women are like in relationships, they're fucking mental and should be best left to their own devices.


Yeah its that one.

I'm already hated by one (friends 'girlfriend'), and really don't want to fall out with my best friend.

May see how things are when she finally gets home today.
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 15:04 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
It really depends on your friend, and your relationship with them. You've been through a lot with her, does she trust you enough to know that you wouldn't have an ulterior motive?

Do YOU have an ulterior motive, one you'd find it hard to admit?
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 15:15 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
metalangel wrote:
It really depends on your friend, and your relationship with them. You've been through a lot with her, does she trust you enough to know that you wouldn't have an ulterior motive?

Do YOU have an ulterior motive, one you'd find it hard to admit?


She trusts me with her life, she trusts me with her daughter (who she doesn't trust her daughters dad with). I've been her support for the last year with shit that has happened. She'll properly be mad at me to begin with, but then see that I did it for the right reason.

The only motive I have is to make sure she and her little en are happy and not getting fucked about.

Do I have feelings for her? Yes. Would I put my happiness above hers? Not a chance.

There is more to it, but I think I would need (another) thread to myself to explain it all!
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metalangel
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PostPosted: 15:22 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
I understand. It sounds like there is going to be some pain for her no matter what happens here. I think I'd show her what's going on.
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-LG-
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PostPosted: 15:27 - 26 Jul 2014    Post subject: Reply with quote
metalangel wrote:
I understand. It sounds like there is going to be some pain for her no matter what happens here. I think I'd show her what's going on.


There really is.

Is it best to do it now, while she isn't that attached to her, and her daughter has only met her once, or let her find out for herself and possibly when her daughter becomes attached? But I can't be claimed to cause friction between the two of them...
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 9 years, 275 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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