Do long distance relationships work?

[Nicky-Jano]

Bit upset right now and don't really know what to do.
My boyfriend's father is pulling the plug on the rent of the flat and he's going to have to move back to england in a month.
We've been going out 5 months, maybe not that long to some, but we are really close and have been living together for about 4 months.
I know it sounds cheesy but he's not just my boyfriend he's one of my best friends and I don't know what it's going to be like not seeing him.
Do long distance relationships work?
I mean not seeing each other often and stuff can be quite a strain, some people say the trust goes as does the closeness.
I don't know whether to try keep it going or just have a clean break when the time comes.
I love what we have and I don't want to ruin it with jealousy or drifting apart.

[-Savage-]

It really depends on the people, and you won't know if it will work until you try it. In my own experience, it's hard on both people. But it makes it all that more special when you do see each other.
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[Dragonfly]

IN my personal experiance it didnt work for me but i managed to threw my fella into my house instead of him being far away and going through the hassel of calling down.

It can work if you want it to and that means both of you.Absence does make the heart grow fonder if you truely love each other. How far away is he moving in miles? not sure where you live.

can you keep up seeing him and travelling everytime you want to and can he do them same? so you trust him when your apart and likewise? ask yourself that. Is it worth going through the trouble for?

its really up to both of you at the end of the day not weither this type of relationship works, differant people differant situations.
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[Sephiroth]

It can work, although I've noticed an older generation find it easier (less temptations maybe?) than our age group.

My advice (if you want it)? Try it. Either way there's nothing you can do about it so you might as well try. Also, you both have bikes and he has some cars so you can always visit on the weekends/days off. London isn't THAT far.

Well, it is if you're on a CG with a provisional so that gives you more of a reason to get your test done!

Good luck, whatever happens.

[Nicky-Jano]

It's near enough enough 300 miles away.
We did do it for a few weeks before when he had work experience in his hometown, and that was really awful.
What made it easier to deal with was that I knew he was coming back.
With this I don't know when he is coming back, if ever.
I really hate the idea of a few months down the line meeting up with him and all that closeness being gone.
I've never had this much trust or been this comfortable with someone, I don't want to lose that.
It's weird to explain but with him I feel so secure and great, he's given me so much confidence in myself and stupid as it sounds I'm scared that's all going to go when he does.
The rational part of me is saying yes I'm young this is my first love? but for the most part of me I can't be rational about it.
It hurts thinking about it, how's it going to feel when he's actually gone =/.
My girl friends wouldn't understand as none of them have had a relationship spanning more than a month.
What makes this harder I think is that he's my first proper boyfriend, yes I've had a few 'boyfriends' but I wouldn't call them relationships.

[Dragonfly]

Your young it will hurt more especially if he is your first when your full of hopes and dreams at that stage. You are still yuong and there is more to come and sometimes hard lessons are good ones and thats what makes us tougher for the future.

300miles is alot! you will have to try it and see, if its to hard to break and you still love him maybe down the line things will change and you will feel differant and make it easier to cope with. You could meet someone else closer to when he is away.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Nicky-Jano]

[colin1]

if he has to move away, can you move with him ?
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[Dragonfly]

[Bomberman]

I'm gonna be the git here then. I know it seems like it'll be death, but the relationship is only 5 months old. You will get over it after not too long if you have to.
Not that you necessarily will. Try the long distance relationship, but I have to say I wouldn't hold much hope. If you're already wondering about jealousy or drifting then odds are you will. As I say, sorry to be the git.
Last thing - I hope it does work. Really. But if you feel it going, pack it in. Don't hang on, don't waste time. Trust me, I know that one well.
Good luck.
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[Nicky-Jano]

Colin: I had thought about moving but I'm not ready to live so far from home =/.

[Shaun]

it never works, kill yourself now.

[Brod122]

If it helps my GF lives in Iceland, i live in england, sometimes I wonder why I bother but then when I see/speak to her it makes it worthwhile. I have never lived close to her as you have, so I can't understand what its like sorry, but its almost the same. What will happen in the future? only a mad-man predicts, all I know, and you should to, is that you go into it with the best intentions and see what happens.

[Itchy]

Awww , young love...........so hopeful so fresh , sooo cute .........





Itchy says a non commital maybe , I briefly considered dating UG , 1300 miles away in the South of France, but
even though there might have been something there it would be impossible to work it,though some obviously work it,
see Mary Jane? , she emigrated to the UK to live with her BF and strangely has become absent,


I'm with Seph , but have an extra option.

try it and see,


OR

Enjoy it now while it lasts and end it, so that you end it on a high point much like playing one less round of golf
than you intended , or one less lap of the Nurburg ring, so that you don't destroy what you have by trying to save
it.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[LeeR]

[Weedy]

[Itchy]

take note!

There's a voice that keeps on calling me
Down the road, that's where I'll always be.
Every stop I make, I make a new friend,
Can't stay for long, just turn around and I'm gone again

Maybe tomorrow, I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, I'll just keep moving on.

Down this road that never seems to end,
Where new adventure lies just around the bend.
So if you want to drive me for a while,
Just grab your hat, come travel light, that's hobo style.

Maybe tomorrow I'll want to settle down,
Until tomorrow, the whole world is my home.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[scorps]

why is his father paying the rent isnt he able to pay it himself?
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[ace_tweety]

my first ever boyfriend stayed quite a while away and we went out for 3 years .. never lived close to him though but met up every so often. but eventually we lost contact but it was worth it for a while although i wish i had ended it a bit sooner!
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[trevoriv]

Me and my missus lived together from the word go and it lasted almost 4 years until she moved back home. The distance wasn't that great at all, she was in Leeds and I was in Manchester but we only really saw each other at weekends. We developed our own lives during the week and then began living our old life at the weekend. It was a bit odd.

As soon as we moved away from each other we started to drift apart from each other, I started having almost two different lives, I acted as if I was single during the week and then I was in a relationship at the weekend (not on purpose, thats just the way it felt). That last about 6 months until we both realised it wasn't working.

Maintaining a relationship with any kind of distance is tough and I wouldn't recommend it.


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[Nicky-Jano]

I would never say he's the one .
I'm not even sure I believe in that kind of stuff.
I just not I feel quite a lot for him and it's going to be a hell of a wrench to see him go.
5 months may not sound like a long time on paper, but when your with one person everyday for 5 months it's a different story.
There's so much that I need to take care of, my education most importantly, I want to do a higher NVQ.
Also if I went there I'd be relying on his parents to feed me and pay for general things until I could get a job, and I'm the kind of person who hates being dependant on others =/.
I like the poem itchy .

[Itchy]

[techierob]

no, they don't. I was engaged to a girl. Circumstances drove us apart by 12000 miles. We never broke up, but she'd married an aussie last I heard. Out of sight, out of mind. You've just got to try and get over it or use it as a store of bitter resentment to fuel you continuing hatred against the entire world - whatever works best for you.
Best of luck. Hope this helps.

[hellkat]

[hellkat]