bipolar disorder and depression

[virus]

well basically i think ive got bi polar disorder, ive done all the little questionnaires and other things on the Internet and done quite a bit of research.

what do i do now?

i just don't seem to be able to find anything to make me happy anymore, ive lost my 'will to live' so to speak, i feel like im not living, just existing.

me and my fiance argue every so often and the relationship is quite stressful. ive got lots of coursework thats over my head on this HND course ive signed up for, and i seem to be constantly ill.

on the plus side ive got pretty much all the physical possessions i could want, 2 bikes, xbox360 and HD tv, double bed, ipod, laptop etc.... but as they say, the most important things in life aren't things.

Anyone got any solutions/ ways to cheer myself up?

Cheers
John
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[UnknownStuntm...]

Exercise.

Gadgets don't make that easy to squeeze in but I can see that with the exception of the bed, there are no items you have that keep your heart rate up.

I know it'll be an arse to fit in, but try to get 30 mins a day of running, fast walking, maybe some cycling or swimming or summat. Something to do with the endorphins released while you're doing it.

But you have to try it for at least 6 weeks before you'd notice the benefit.

[Shay HTFC]

It seems to me like you're missing out on a social scene (not as in getting pissed every night, but as in you maybe don't have many friends around?)
It can happen when you become lonely and you don't know why you are here.. just sat around living just to see the next day.

Maybe you can try and see what ride outs are going on around and meet up with some bikers that way if that is the case. I can assure you that as soon as you start meeting with people and getting to know some more friends that life won't seem pointless again.

Sometimes I don't know how people who live on their own in their own flat and don't have many 'proper' friends survive. It must get so lonely and I think that can be a big factor in feeling depressed!

So yeah, I'd recommend doing something that will make you some new friends so you don't always feel like you're living your life on your own.

But I could be totally wrong as your post doesn't say whether you've got 500 good friends or none at all

[virus]

US: im probably signing myself up to the gym soon, depending on what can find cheap enough etc...

shay: your right, i used to be out all the time with my mates but now apart from college mates i dont see any of my mates unless theres a special party etc... that said i wasnt really that happy back then, just had more people around me

think i might go out on the piss this weekend and see all my old mates

Cheers
John
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[Kitten]

Go to the doctor and tell them how you are feeling. If you are bipolar you need medication, it is often very succesfully treated with lithium salts.

Bipolar disorder is manic depression, it follows a pattern of huge bursts of activity and not sleeping followed by a desprssive state, which then goes back to the mania and so on. . . . like a mood rollercoaster that you can't get off of as it doesn't stop.

While in the manic state people tend to make bad financial decisions etc and this can have an impact on those around you as well as affecting you. This is why it is a good idea to seek professional advice, for others if not for yourself.

Do not worry about going to the doctors, they will listen to what you have to say and probably do some blood tests and prescribe you pills. With lithium your liquid intake has to be monitored as it is 'salts', so is easily diluted if you have too much liquid or can be too strong if you are not drinking enough.

If you are found to have depression the doctor will probably give you pills Selective Serotonin Reuptake Ihibitors. These are medication such as Prozac etc. These take a month or so to work, so you have to stick with them before you notice any difference.

There are also things you can do yourself to help. One thing that Cognitive Behavioural Therapists use is excellent (I am currently doing it myself). Buy yourself a diary and at the end of each day write at least two positive things that happened that day. It forces you to look for and concentrate on the good and not the bad. Over time you will change your cognitions (thought processes) and you will come to see the positive in things rather than the negative. This in conjunction with the correct medication will help immensley. When the time comes for you to not take pills you will have changed your outlook by using the diary.

Either way, you should not worry about seeking profesional advice as it is the best course of action that people often put off for too long.
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RVF400 (NC35) My baby

[stinkwheel]

[queen of string]

Eat well, believe you deserve to put only the best things into your body. Your self is a system (imho) and diet has now been shown to have a huge effect on mental well being, second only to spending purposeful time outdoors, be that doing traditional exercise or something more odd, like gardening.

Personally I would only suggest resorting to medication if your symptoms are long term or severely affecting your ability to do every day things or you are becoming suicidal.

qos works in mental health services but no longer subscribes to the medical model, much.
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"Eat food, not edible, food-like items. Mostly plants."

[Kitten]

[Paivi]

[gmanxiii]

I used to be in the same position as you, thought i had everything i needed, my own place, computers, gadgets, cars (hadnt started riding then), decent job i was dubbed "the companies golden child", great health and body, a loving fiancee. Yet i still felt something was missing and nothing was making me happy. I was also in the middle of uni at the time when i started to notice this and although it wasnt too hard i just felt my course was pointless and the work didnt make sense really but i scraped by. Life should of been good but i was wanting more, i dunno what it was then and still don't.

Then in quick succession i lost EVERYTHING and more and more terrible things seemed to just happen. Not just to me but to people i cared and loved the most, and this was the most difficult time i have ever experienced in my life. I didnt know who i was, what i wanted, i had bouts of rage and anger, felt like i was just living day to day and started to hate everything, even myself. I tried to "fix things" but started blaming myself for feeling so bad and for the bad things happening I felt hopeless. I couldnt look in the mirror some days it was that bad, felt and acted like an animal and needless to say there was certain things that crossed my mind and positions i put myself in.

What made it worse was i shut myself away from people and thus a lot of my good friends drifted away and since im not close to my family i was left with no crutch to speak of. This is the worse thing as i should of really been speaking to people and i didnt realise at the time how important good understanding friends can be. I was too proud to go to see a doctor even though my ex and some very close friends pushed me to. I think i was too afraid more than anything else, to me it would of been the final nail in the coffin if i ended up on medication or locked away. Looking back i should of done but i cared too much what other people thought of me and just hid it away.

Im unsure when it started or what happened but i guess i started looking at life differently. Maybe it was the books i read and long phillisophical disscussions i had with my friends? maybe it was starting exercising again? could of been the substances i was dabbling with? maybe i had hit rock bottom? I wasnt just acknowledging, that yeah lifes pointless, how socially people percieved me is pointless and material possesions dont make me happy etc but like hetzer says actually embracing it. I started not giving a damn about what other people thought of me, everything i did was selfish and i did for myself and not because i thought thats how people want me to be. Although when i first started i was a prick and did some things that regretfully im not proud of, you live and learn though and thats part of the process. Although not at the time I look back now and see that in a way it helped to know what it felt like to be totally down and out, what it felt like to lose everything I thought was important to me, its abit extreme but I even felt like scum at one point. Its something i experienced and learned from rather than through assumptions i make from stuff i hear from other people or see in the news. It gave me a first person perspective and invaluable understanding of what and where I didnt want to be and the perception that although things where crap, it frankly wasnt so bad as i was still alive to do what i want.

From this slowly emerged things that i found i enjoyed and gave me purpose again. Hopes and dreams started appearing, some which i had forgotten about years back. I dont chase them too hard these days as i think you can want something to much and you'll lose it. Instead i just go about day to day enjoying what i have now, if an opportunity comes up i'll take it, if not then it doesnt matter.

The thing is i met quite a few good friends who felt like i did at varying times within the last 7-8years (again had everything they thought should make them happy) and one of them said something i thought i'd never feel, and that was

"it's hard to describe, i dunno what happened but one day i just realised that i didnt feel like that anymore, and i didnt even know how long i had been feeling like that".

Somedays i still feel low like i used to but generally im pretty happy person, i just ignore them and accept it'll always be there. I look at it as a reminder that everything is good in my life and when things arent i know it can not get any worse than back then. Im guessing the majority of people in the world probably will never feel like i did and in a way they are lucky but also in a odd way they're not. Depends on what perspective you look at it.

You'll feel better about things eventually you just got to keep going through the motions.
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I kills hondas

VFR400NC30 > ZZR600 > CBR600FX > CBR1000rr

[craigie b]

[Kitten]

[craigie b]

Hi Kitten

Please excuse me if this takes a little longer than a normal post, but I've came home, still canned on E and am feeling particularly lucid right now, so here goes.

I was born 3 month early. The trauma of it nearly killed my mum (and me), and must have hit her like a ton of bricks because she had previously lost a little girl from being kicked down a flight of stairs.

Three years later, one divorce and a life on the social did little for my mums mental health. Nor did the fact my dad put away for manslaughter.

I remember as a child my mum having black days, where she would not get out of bed for days on end, complaining of severe headaches, suffering bouts of becoming detached from reality and dark, dark depression.

Now the thing is, with having a family member who is technically nuts, is the fact that they have lots of 'nuts' friends to. It makes sense, I mean they all meet at the same clinic.

For years my mum refused tranquillisers after seeing their disastrous effects on several of her friends (some who tried to commit suicide largely due to the drugs). The doctors tried various new medications until one day they recommended a new drug, a new type of drug, an antidepressant called anfrinil. She only took it on the basis it was prescribed on a lower than normal dose as she was very concerned about new mental illness drugs, especially after seeing how her friends had reacted to other mental health medication.

Now, thankfully, the small dose she takes of anfranil makes her feel human again. The doctors have never diagnosed her as anything specific and through trial and error they found a drug that works for her. I should point out though, that my mum is far from being cured. Last time we had an argument she tried to throw herself out of my car whilst at speed. Afranil allows her to controll her issues, but it does not correct them nor mend them in any real sense of the word. I think real absolution could only be found through many, many hours of a top class therapist.

Several of her friends also got the drug. Some have went into suicidal rages, others have claimed to see terrifying hallucinations of coffins and their gravestones after taking the same drug.

That would indicate to me that doctors prescribing the drug do not really know if its effective or know how to diagnose the exact circumstances that anafrinil would work. In effect, their shooting in the dark.

One of my friends last year tried to commit suicide whilst on anti depressants. Of course, she mixed them with booze and before you could say anything she's screaming and flinging herself down flights of stairs before, on the final night that I heard, run into the living room and proceeded to slash her wrist in front of my mates. Now, I'm not a doctor, but I could tell you it was the drink that was making her mentally unstable. She needed less medication, not more, legally prescribed medication to top of the fucking alcohol.

A point worth noting is this as well. If a patient is potentially of unsound mind then how can you guarantee the papers you are citing are actually valid? I mean the very people you are trying to help are the people most unlikely to make stance against your drugs or complain to the media about their medicine giving them fucking death hallucinations, because to be quite frank, they have far more pressing needs like their mental health.

So out of the countless nut jobs I know, the docs have successfully treated my mum. That is barely a resounding success in the field of mental health. I know people who can rattle along leading a seemingly normal life on their meds, but you spend any time with them and you know their still tapped in the head and the medication is only curtailing the madness, not curing it.

However, in my mums case I honestly believe there is a chemical imbalance at play. If we look at my mums best friend, who's husband owns a massive fishing boat, beautiful bungalow, brand new mercedes every year and each kid (of which there is 4) gets a brand new car with private number plate as soon as they turn 17.

My mums best friend is diagnosed with depression. She's also obese (she eats because she's unhappy) so she also gets fucking pills help her shed weight.

Now I'm sorry, but I do not believe she is fucking depressed. I think she simply realises that even with every worldly possession she can have, it does not buy her happiness. She is unhappy. Not depressed, just fucking unhappy.

Now the doctor puts her on anti depressants. What the fuck? Hows does that help? If you want to cure her then root around and find the cause of the depression (reread unhappiness). Are you suggesting that the magic pills you talk of do a lot more than elevate the persons mood to make them 'feel happier'? Do they contain the insights necessary for that person to find the root of their woes and change it, or does it simply change their mood so they are no longer concerned when they on the drug?

You go to a third world country and things like depression do not exist. People are to busy fighting to live to get unhappy because they had no breakfast that morning or that the kids have no new clothes to go to school with.

In the UK we have doctors prescribing fucking speed pills to school kids for ADD when the kids I've seen with ADD did not need fucking drugs, they needed a hug and support from their parents. Adults crying depression because they realise money cannot buy happiness.

Its a fucking joke on our society and one the medical companies are only to happy to address because it grants them a massive source of revenue. Every fucking ailment of modern life is never seen as the persons fault or simply life, but a mental condition. Your unhappy, your depressed. You cannot concentrate, ADD. Your to fat, obsessive eating disorder (not simply your fucking greedy). The list is endless of the fucking disorders we treat in this country, which largely in my eyes, are not disorders, there just issues that arise with being alive.

Christ, my step gran died last year. In her last ten years she dealt with her son in law dying. Her grand daughter dying. My step grandpa getting Altimezers. Her sister dying. I remember talking to her about it, and she never once let those things hold her back. Until her last few months I used to laugh at my step dad fretting after my gran had sped off to go caravanning with her friend, of whom were both in there 80's! Its funny, how many people who survived a fucking world war are on anti depressants?

Depression is a western made creation to allow people to feel ok about themselves because their unhappy. Boo fucking hoo. Life sucks at times. Fucking grin and bear it and you'll come through stronger at the otherside. Moaning and crying about just leads to a cycle of perpetual negative thoughts which in turn will make you fucking depressed. And if the medical profession touts unhappiness as depression then people will flock to it and label themselves depressed. If you believe anything long enough you will become it.

Virus, no disrespect meant, but if you think you should be happy because you got a double bed n Xbox then its no wonder your unhappy. You need to find something that lifts your spirit. For me, its sitting in the UK in front of the TV with my little cat sat on my lap purring. I find happiness in other peoples/creatures happiness. I bought my ex a diamond ring for Xmas. The joy I got when I explained how precious it really was. When I'm in Scotland I love taking my grandma out to dinner, to make her feel special. These are the things that make life worth living. Making others feel special. That is what happiness is about.

You look at research on the worlds happiest people and its small insignificant places where community is king and people take pride in not only themselves but their neighbours too. I'm happiest when I'm training or when I'm helping others. I'm most grateful when a friend is generous enough to give me their time. These are things which money cannot purchase, you earn them by being a good person.

[Kitten]

Craigie b, please can you explain that in a little more detail?
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RVF400 (NC35) My baby

[craigie b]

You are trying to be funny?

[Kitten]

You seem to have a very subjective view and you evaluate using anecdotal evidence.

While subjectivity does have it's place in research, approaching things from an egocentric position does not give you the full picture.

Would you take a treatment that didn't kill a few of people that the doctor knew and so was deemed safe? This is the logic you are trying to use for failure of drugs to be effective for treating some people you know.

You are welcome to come and debate with me when you have something scientific to support your points. Anything with a significance level of p<0.01 is acceptable for medical research.

I look forward to hearing from you.
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RVF400 (NC35) My baby

[craigie b]

How about instead of me giving your more information on an area you obviously study. Why not explain why mental health problem is skyrocketing in the west but not in poorer nations? Why not 60 year ago? Why are poorer nations often happier? Why not support your statements with proof of the 'wonders' of mental health drugs instead of merely trying to drag me into a an area your obviously educated in and I am not. I am basing my opinions on my life experience and not learned in some library at a university.

[craigie b]

[Kitten]

Sorry, the way you attacked my advice to Virus gave me the impression that you were knowledgeable about the area.

There are a whole list of culture-bound syndromes that are not recognised in the West, just as many Western mental illnesses as defined by DSMIV-TR or ICD10 (the diagnostic manuals for mental illness used in the West) are not recognised in other parts of the world. These culture-bound symdromes include things like Koro and Brain Fag. Mental illness is just as prevalent everywhere, it just defined differently. For example, if France decided to not class murder as a crime, the French murder rate would become zero overnight.

As for the happy thing, maybe capitalism has something to do with it, but I am not an Economist or Sociologist, so I would not like to comment.

You presume just because I am educated in an area I have not had 'real life' experience. To be honest, I find this patronising as I do not live and work in an ivory tower.

To be honest, I think that scaremungering regarding treatments of mental illnesses was an unkind thing to do. Virus asked for advice, I gave him honest substantiated advice with explanations to put his mind at ease.

That is all I have to say on this matter, as I am now going home to ride my bike.
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RVF400 (NC35) My baby

[killa]

Craigie, next time you're thinking of heading down my way, lets have a beer man.
Fucking A to that.

You can stick your fucking prescription drugs, I’m not impressed with the results that I’ve dealt with day to day.
You can stream a load of perfect sounding drugs that help, but I still believe once you’re in the loop it’s gonna be a long hard road if you want to get off at the next exit. And not everyone is knowledgeable about these drugs, so what you’re handed is often what you’ll take.

My sisters have been through the stages of all this, as have a couple of friends.
They are by no means philosophers, and yes I do believe you can help yourself a lot more than a therapist can explain the who/why/what where's. I’m a big thinker, about all aspects of materialism, situations and ways and means of understanding yours. There really isn’t much to it, and long before I found BCF I thought much like Hetz. Reason being, I messed myself up good and proper back in 2000-01. It wasn’t natural how I felt, partly because of what I’d been doing with myself. I had options, and believe me, it didn’t seem like I could turn anywhere. Yes the enlightenment of realising everybody is scum, you have no reason, you’re worm food, not a lot of people care yada yada yada is pretty tough to take on. But seriously, I had fun coming out of it. I now go through day to day life with a rather pleasant feeling, watching people get flustered by stuff I laugh at.

My eldest sister is struggling, struggling due to position, the place she lives, the child she cares for and her husband. To cut a long story short she had 2 choices, to recognise her position, plan, think of a solution and work on it. Or she could go to the doctors and explain she is down, very down, no direction, no goals etc etc...

I’m inexperienced in dealing with doctors about this, but IMO a mental illness as they call it, sadness, depression, what ever label you want to put on it, I think is a problem that is not solved by simply visiting the doctor and having a chat. You are prescribed something for it.
The simple term 'chemical imbalance' is a very vague but true statement. You take the pill, the balance is restored and you can get on with your day ignoring the reality of it all.

A very good friend of mine is currently deciding, I’m not going to make him chose a certain route. But he has asked me. Should I, shouldn’t I. thankfully the guy has kicked himself into touch and getting on with a few things he really loves doing. Not that hard to do, but it just doesn’t happen instantly.

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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[virus]

woah, well cheers for the advice everyone. ive decided not to go to the doctors, partially because ive been offered counseling before over various things and i hate having people who have only met me 2 minutes ago telling me how i feel, but mostly due to the fact i cant juggle any more prescription drugs as well. im currently on antibiotics for an infected wisdom tooth, zopiclone (sp?) to help me sleep and painkillers to get rid of various aches and pains caused from being a stupid twat in my childhood (he says at the grand age of 18 ).

anyways thanks for the advice everyone, ive decided to go by the 'were in shit everyday, the only thing that changes is the depth' mentality and to be honest, waist deep isnt that bad

Cheers
John
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[craigie b]

A small pointer. Strong Antibiotics will leave you suceptible to picking up other illness's as they will kill good bacteria in your body as well as bad. Its not uncommon to get a secondary illness/infection after strong antibiotics. That could be leaving you feeling run down.

Just from doing a quick google, Zopiclone has a side effect of depression

You may want to look at the basics first. Is you diet good or do live on a diet of refined sugars that will lead to energy crashes and leave you hyper active before sleeping? Do you exercise or are you basically sat down all day, meaning your never expending any energy in a positive fashion? Lethargy combined with bad diet is a slow burn to personal hell as it runs your immune system down, leaves you weak, restless and unhappy.

[virus]

[JonB]

craigie b probably posted the best info on the subject I have ever seen, so bloody true.

virus, all of your prized "possessions" seem to involve being indoors. The last few days have been absolutely glorious, get out there! I've been feeling buzzy the past few days just from walking around the country park. I should be worrying about being £100 from my overdraft limit and having 5,000 words worth of essay to do for 10 days time, but do I give a fvck?

Life is more than possessions, there's a whole world out there, go explore.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[craigie b]

You see this is why I get pissed off when people suggest your first port of call should be a therapist/doctor and possible medication without ever considering simple lifestyle factors that are inherently detrimental to people health. And poor health mean poor mental health.

Its blatantly obvious that simple lifestyle choices will have a positive or negative effect on your health. For example, bad diet leads to poor mental health. Why should it not, if your depriving your body of the very things it needs to function. You pour whisky into your motorbike tank and its not gonna drive very far, yet people happily live on diets of MacDonald's and fucking penguin bars!

Mental health and diet

https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4610070.stm

https://www.moodfoods.com/foodmood/index.html

Next, exercise. First of all staying indoors makes you prone to SAD as your not getting sunlight. Secondly lack of exercise means the shit your putting into your body turns to fat, its doesn't get expended. This can be detrimental as in some people it will effect their self esteem, never mind the health conditions that are also entailed.

Exercise releases endorphins which makes you feel good. It helps you focus and creates a sensation of calm. Besides making you stronger it conditions the brain to deal with hardship and pain, albeit physical. You can transfer this learning process to other areas of your life.

Mental Health and Exercise

https://www.findcounseling.com/journal/health-fitness/
https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/1338145.stm

If you drink regularly then your also adding a poison to your system which will bring you down even further. I get depressed as fuck after a heavy night on the sauce, so I have no idea how regular heavy drinkers cope with it (except by drinking more )

Now if you have a combination of all three then I would think it strange if you were not fucking depressed. However, no pill will change diet, lethargy or drinking problems. These are all things a person has to take control of to make themselves better.