The BCF Top Ten 2008

[Steve H]

Two and a Half Years on from the Original, the 'Your favourite poster' thread has prompted me to cobble together an up to date version - it's gotta be said, it's not as easy as it used to be ...

10. Hetzer

The man who produces more bile than the liver of a Big Mac addict commands a place in the TEN purely on the basis of prose and delivery. If Hitler could've used Hetzer's talent at composition (it's possible, he IS THAT old!) then Adolf's tour of Europe might've been more successful.

A recent Scientific Study by Harvard's best suggests that Hetzer's personality trait is more Mentalist Dictator than Messiah - it's gotta be true there's a graph to back it up...

https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a231/steveqpr/Graph.jpg

9. Kickstart

Relegated to a lowly Nine in the TEN due to his recent uncharacteristic foray into the Big Boy Comedic underbelly of BCF. Who or What's to blame for this posting inconsistency we can only speculate on. My Guess? Old Age, Facial Hair, 32" waist, sniffing WD40 and a bike garage the size of this unfotunate Fijiian Blokes' Bollocks...

https://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a231/steveqpr/eleph-fiji.gif

8. Luke VFR

'Corrie', 'ER', 'The Fall Guy', 'Britain's Wildest Police Chases' and 'Jackanory' all rolled into one - Who needs TV when you've got a Luke VFR initiated thread? This unanswered question prompted immediate action by BBC Bigwigs who commissioned a fly on the wall documentary entitled 'Luke Pipe-stalker, the force is strong in him'. Unfortunately the series is destined for the cutting room floor after the lady operating the bleep machine sufferd a bout of RSI on day two of filming.

7. Shaun

Shaun, Chubby Brown, Peter Kay, Bernard Manning, Jo Brand. Apart from attempting the Northern Club circuit at some point in their careers they've all got one thing in common - None of them could get 'it' up. Calling their profession 'Stand Up' isn't a description it's a desperate fockin' plea to their 'bits'. Jo Brand resorted to (somewhat questionable) gender surgery, but the rest of them are responsible for more relationship break-ups than a shite marriage guidance counsillor. Take a leaf out of Pele's book Shaun - give up the comedy act ('Escape to Vicory' being the rubber-legged maestro's last comedic foray) and get some Viagra on the Brazilian NHS.

6. Hellkat

Replacing Bendy as the token 'bird' in the TEN is no mean feat however HK pulls it off nicely (according to a Luke VFR thread!). Part of the now legendary Bikers web invasion of 1853 HK remained here after she realised that Shade BW, et al were quite frankly the most annoying bunch of wankers since New Kids on the Block attempted the World Masturbation Record. Now firmly ensconced as the young male BCFers 'Go To Girl' when it comes to matters of the heart, fanny, tits and arse it's a real shame that she can't changer her Moniker to Auntie HK and adopt that section of the forum as her very own.

5. The Shaggy D.A.

Shaggy D.A. my arse, this bloke's perfectly coiffured hair would put Vidal Sassoon to shame. Don't be fooled by this BCF'ers muck 'n nettles persona, Shaggy (real name Bernhardt Syde-Pahtin the Fourth) loves nothing better than a night in with a bottle of Head 'n Shoulders, a big towel, and some Nicky Clark straighteners. In fact at the last Bulldog Bash Shaggy was responsible for the foam party in the Dance Tent when his pocket conditioner spilt all over the mosh pit.

4. pa_broon74

Sent out to Stud in 1974 (obviously) after a successful carreer as Champion the Wonder Horse's stunt double, pa_broon ('Gilbert' to his mates) has sired more beach donkey's than Muffin the Mule - Check out Skegness Sea Front on a Summers Day, EVERY four legged mammal will bear the 'broon butt' (one arse cheek higher than the other). The quality of Gilbert's BCF'ing is the only thing that's keeping his Bike Mad owner from sending him to the Pritt Stick Factory, one 'punch her in the tits, do her up the Gary' comment or a thread about Karma will see his shrivelled old goolies being watered down and used for sealing envelopes this Christmas.

3. Mister James

The highest (and only) climber from the original TEN (sic) going up an unsurpassed 9 places - This meteoric rise is matched only by his career progression in which he's gone from humble Prison Warder (the one that presses the open/close button on the main gates of the prison) to an immigration officer (the one that presses the open/close button on the main gates of the UK). Faced with this emormous responsibilty the TEN asked what assists him in his main duties during the day. The answer? Blinkers, empty toilet roll tube and some Tesco Value dog meat - in that order.

2. bazza

Half Shark, Half Pussy - Poor ol' bazza has been well and truly shafted by a woman at some point in his life judging by his Freudian avatar. The truth is... well, the TEN can exclusively reveal that he was the injured party in a BCF wife swapping ring that involved half of the Midlands User Group. In one fun filled night bazza lost his missus, car key's and his left knee-cap as a magnum of Libfraumilch smashed against it and pointed at his adjacent wife in a game of spin the bottle. Colin took bazza's missus home and left a shellshocked bazza with a glass of Germany's finest and 6 months of reconstructive surgery to look forward to.

1. Colin1

If Andre Young wasn't so arrogant he would've written about Colin instead...

Colin Wall is the name, I'm legally insane.
Still, oblivious to peeps, still posting obviously,
Still not loving the ladies (Uh huh).
Still rock my bike with a buff and sidi's,
Still got love for the streets, repping okey dokey,
Still the carb bangs, still doing my thang... - 'Still Col', Dr Dre 2001.
____________________
Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original.

[neatbik]

Why cant there be an awesome rating!?

[NinjaLee]

i was laughing at quite a few places there
____________________
Current bike: 2006 zx636 C6F
Previous bike: 2000 zx6r J1, 1990 cbr400rr nc29
Restriction ended: 17th november 2010

[Fawbish]

Class.
____________________
"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[Shaun]

Damn, I lost some places, oh well, I'll get back to inserting a swear word every other 3 words and aim them in the direction of anyone posting near me.

[Mr.Everready]

The bi annual Steve H "gotta tip my big toe into gold blob territory" thread.

Class as per usual.
____________________
the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section

[bazza]

[hellkat]

Steve, you didnt include yourself!


____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

Sod it, I've run out of karma today.
Tomorrow... you're on a promise
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[D O G]

Do you write for Viz?

[killa]

I dropped off somewhere...hmm, haven't been abusive enough
____________________
Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[jack_zxr400]

haha
____________________
Previous Bike: ZXR 400
Current Bike: R6
Test Date: 8/8/2008-PASSED

[Mister James]

Up nine places - without having to beg this time! w000t!!11
____________________
>Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you...

[pa_broon74]

As irreverent as usual.

Obviously I should be number one but the blatant anti-horse sentiment still pervades... I'm not saying the compiler of the chart was accepting 'bungs for places' but no one can deny that actual cash goes much further than the contents of my nose-bag, (currently half dozen carrots, some wheat and my de-worming medication.)



(All that said, I am beginning to worry about this online persona I seem to have inadvertantly adopted for myself. Can I just say for the record, I'm not really a horse, I am in fact, a rather handsome man. Also, look at the evidence, could a horse be this erudite? )
____________________
Didn't catch anything.

[Fawbish]

Im not up there because either...

a) It would be unfair to everyone else, as I have myself a rather sneaky accomplice. Well, two actually.


or


b)I havent made enough of a dent in BCF yet.



I'm strongly feeling that the racoons are now holding me back. Quite literally.


Well, I think we all know it's b). But we cant admit to that now can we.
____________________
"Oh....it looks like Average Joe's is forfeiting the match!" - "Yeah, its a risky strategy but lets see if it pays off for 'em Cotton."

[Tristan.]

[pa_broon74]

[hellkat]

[pa_broon74]

[hellkat]

[Mr Nice Guy]

Very good, sir.
____________________
Suzuki GSX-R750K4 ~ Mivv GP

[Hetzer]

BCF fame, I sh!t it.
____________________
"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[Shaun]

[pa_broon74]

Fuck it.

I tried looking at that youtube vid but it must be naughty as it wants me to sign in, I had an account but I can't remember what the details are. I would sign up again, but its a faff and I can't be arsed.

Someone just tell me what I did, ta.

Judging by hellkat's response and what little I know of her, if she thinks its weird, it must be really really weird.


____________________
Didn't catch anything.

[DOS]

There you go sir.It's kind of a mix of pa_broons head/Tittots nakedness and lets throw Thebasejunky in for good measure.
https://www.metacafe.com/watch/1088622/dancing_man_wearing_a_horse_mask_cooks_wild_mushrooms/

Paddy.