Plenty of Fish?

[Tungtvann]

Good effort, hope it continues to go well!

https://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=85417101

This girl should have stopped writing after the 3rd line. Sounds like she has a chip on her shoulder, and she's not particularly special herself.

[monkeybiker]

[metalangel]

Wow, that’s a lot of anger and baggage. Does she realize that it’ll just push away the good, decent (and white) guys she’s trying to attract, and leave her with nothing but the douchebags and other undesirables who just don’t give a toss?

Meanwhile, girl has sent me a text saying she’s trying to come up with a plan for Friday. It turns out she needs one because she needs to be in a certain neighbourhood at 8pm.

Ah. She has other plans and so we get maybe two hours together before she goes off to do something else. Waaaaaaaaaay back, 18 months ago almost, you might recall I went out with a girl and exactly the same thing happened.
-first date we went to a noisy bar/restaurant, drank too much, had a fun and deep conversation and lost track of time.
-second date we went to this same neighbourhood this new girl is now suggesting, likewise for a quick coffee date before she went off to do something else.
-old girl dropped off the radar shortly afterwards
-both of these girls are/were tall, athletic and intelligent

I’m trying and failing to avoid overthinking this. It’s only our second date, we don’t owe each other anything, but I don’t really like that I left my Friday evening free (before a long weekend) for her and am now playing second banana to another activity she finds more interesting. It’s ironic she complained about online daters being timewasters. Erm, likewise me being bitter and damaged here?

The little church-goer has stayed in touch and we’re going for coffee tomorrow. I’m not sure what to make of her yet but based on her messages her personality is as cute as her pictures.
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[ScaredyCat]

[J0Al1]

[Phoenix]

[metalangel]

[Tungtvann]

Sure it wasn't something important that she'd organised weeks before? Just maybe she really would like to see you and would rather a limited few hours than not at all?

[Phoenix]

Yeah you don't want to over do it on the first few dates, you can leave the whole day/half day dates for further down the line. You want to leave the other one wanting more, if deliberately or not. Plus, if it goes really well when you next meet she may even postpone/cancel her other plans if she doesn't want to leave after just a couple of hours....but don't count on it.

Dating is all a game, some people play it innocently but they're unlikely to be the ones you end up dating. So be sure to make your own plans and make her aware of them on the night but also suggest that they are flexible (if you may want the date to continue) so don't say "oh yeah I also have to be at so and so by 8pm" that way she won't view you as a loser with no other options on a Friday night and if you do end up delaying your plans to prolong your date with her it makes you look good....even if your plans are entirely fictitious

[metalangel]

That strikes me as a bit of a gamble - she might be touched that you're willing to delay your existing plans for her, or see you as potentially unreliable since you'll bail on your friends for someone you just met.

First shot of Devil's Advocaat says, "yeah, well, don't lie MA, you'd be thrilled if she ditched her friends on Friday and spent the whole night with you."

The second shot says, "what if she does decide to ditch them and come along to your pretend event?"

She's just texted me with the place we're going, so that's that.

Coffee with Churchy tomorrow at 7pm. I really hope she wants food too, as to kill time after work I'm going to the gym so I'll be ravenous by the time we meet up.
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Phoenix]

[J0Al1]

Sounds like hard work.

[Alpha-9]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U

This was fairly interesting
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Fzr-600 1999

[metalangel]

[Raksha]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc

for the love of the gods avoid ones like this.....
probably a nice lass but oh go issues there i think

[Commuter_Tim]

[J0Al1]

Think it's an act.

[Phoenix]

[metalangel]

Without looking I know it's the "I love cats, I love every kind of cat, I just want to hug them all but I can't hug every cat" woman.

For the sake of your sanity don't watch the autotune music video version (and yes, it's fake)
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt

[Andy S]

Long time thread reader, first time poster.

Stop over thinking it!

Sounds like she wants to see you but had prior plans, but is making the effort to squeeze in seeing you too?

All the over thinking is dooming things before they even begin.
Just go with it!

[Alpha-9]

[Tungtvann]

So I went out on Thursday night with a girl, first date. She seems nice, we had a good time, conversation flowed etc. However, she's not a big into texting, and therefore hard to read. Am I supposed to just wait for her to message me and see if she wants to go on another date? What if she's thinking the same as me and waiting on my message? Should I wait a period of time before messaging?

I'm getting threaders with the dating thing at the moment, this last 12+ months has sucked, can't be bothered with all the game playing, the confusion, the messing around.

[J0Al1]

[Sun Wukong]

It really does seem unfairly weighted in womens favour, and probably isn't helping the self-esteem of most men who use it.

And as said, not sure how healthy it is to have to put this much time and energy in to looking like you have lots of hobbies and energy.

Ho hum, 2015.

[metalangel]

Coffee on Wednesday with church girl. She is very cute! After coffee we went for fish and chips in a posh (sit down) fish and chip place, and by the time we were done in there it was getting late so we parted ways. Conversation flowed well, she's very sweet like her messages have been. She's a little bit stuffy, I think, needs to loosen up a bit. Her list of don'ts and can'ts is a bit long, too: red meat, caffeine, alcohol, gluten...

Got her phone number, texted her the next day saying it was great meeting her, what was her schedule like for the long weekend and beyond? She replied saying she was free after 3pm on Monday, so we made tentative plans to go for a walk somewhere and enjoy the winter weather.

A day or two later she texts saying she feels she answered too soon, she usually needs more time to 'digest things' before making the next step, and will get in touch again after the weekend. I simply said I "I understand, enjoy the long weekend!" and have left the ball in her court.

....


Out last night with the other girl. Some ghastly hipsterish place inadequately heated to cope with the cold outside. Cheap beer and decent eats, and we chatter away like before. I notice it's after 8pm and she's still here. At 9:15pm she notices too and says she was supposed to be somewhere else an hour ago.

It turns out the 'somewhere else' was a Meetup group to play games, and we met here at the suggestion of one of her friends because the venue is only two blocks away. She asks if I want to come, and we wander over and see a worker's club hall filled with people playing board games. She's unsure if she's in the mood, so I pay the door charge (she's already paid) and in we go.

We spent the night until after 1am playing dominos and Scrabble with complete strangers. Great stuff! When we said goodbye no kiss because she has a cold, but she's just texted me 10 minutes ago saying she'll let me know about our next plan - a boardgame cafe that serves booze!

So I suppose I technically had a date on Valentine's?
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Previous: 2002 Honda CB500 (sold), 2007 Suzuki SV650SK6 (crashed), 2005 Yamaha FZ6 Fazer (sold). Currently bikeless
"A faired bike will get you 10x more clunge than a unfaired one." -Marlboro Matt