eBay's Most Miserable Bike

[A100man]

What honkin' POS! The bolt-on cafe hoop is a new low, along with blackboard paint frame and those piggin' useless shocks. Not even com-stars can save it.

The best bit? what appear to be genuine Avon speedmasters..
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Now: A100, GT250A, XJ598, FZ750

Then: Fizz, RS200, KL250, XJ550, Laverda Alpina, XJ600, FZS600

[doggone]

Stating the mileage shown on the clock is one of the few factually correct statements to be fair.
For £500 it might make a winter hack if you weren't too bothered about getting to your destination.

[Easy-X]

An email from eBay: "Make an offer for HONDA CX500 CAFE RACER..."

Nah, I'll leave it, thanks.
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[Polarbear]

[blurredman]

Gumtree.

I'm just curious that's all how a bike that has "never been registered on the road" has 71,000 miles? School bike for learning clutch control, or not.

https://www.gumtree.com/p/honda-motorbikes/honda-cg-125/1471312239
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CBT: 12/06/10, Theory: 22/09/10, Module 1: 09/11/10, Module 2: 19/01/11
Past: 1991 Honda CG125BR-J, 1992 (1980) Honda XL125S, 1996 Kawasaki GPZ500S.
Current: 1973 MZ ES250/2 - 17k. , 1979 Suzuki TS185ER - 9k, 1981 Honda CX500B - 91k, 1987 MZ ETZ250 (295cc) - 38k, 1989 MZ ETZ251 - 49k

[Polarbear]

[Ayrton]

[WD Forte]

28 years 71 thou
that's around 2500 a year so not impossible for a busy playground bike

It might be a useful cheap hack for somebody if examined carefully
but apart from clutches what else has it suffered in this time?

I see the now defunct 'bristol motorcycle training centre' on the reg plate so two of my lads may have sat on that one at some time
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bikers smell of wee

[WD Forte]

This where it used to live, not sure what happened to the BMT mob

https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Hambrook,+Bristol+BS16+1RS/@51.5232279,-2.5276454,186a,35y,237.24h,44.96t/data=!3m1!1e3!4m6!3m5!1s0x4871905dba6912cd:0x64eea744360823d!8m2!3d51.5228907!4d-2.5301924!16s%2Fg%2F1xcbp1_9?entry=ttu
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bikers smell of wee

[Globule]

I don't post that often, but I laughed so much at this add, I thought I'd share

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225952097814?hash=item349bcb6616:g:sx4AAOSwkhFlnSk6&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAAA0KnqV6S9PJMYQDHfHa7zCAc5HeXB7oz0YNrHsZCTpq7X1AcVYkAuSNLU0t7YC89g0UuUXMHCh6VlztVxq8126JJ3wzHU5EPfyoc5OIiKzWRoxv9ZUJRIp6xI2%2BGQL4Y5cvI7pL2y2q28vdlc4JFmksJ1OqGFmq%2Bd%2BRKxl3SEuZVKgsdQVWa4MWdPu5V8uidlfuBapZa7zBStaUT6B0v2LN7%2FJuk72fcIeIVjWXlggkukvIeXNOWnSQz%2FX99euWKFxKE9EtMlxPxIR66MfCjQNa8%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-qXrPWfYw

[virus]

[Bhud]

I'd love to see that in a Youtube video. Guy has a picture of the bike he wants to build, fails, and we hear "oh no! oh no!"
That would be amazing. I would upvote.

Would be better though if there were some way we could communicate to people that if you're gonna fuck up a project, could you please sort of tape the bits to the rolling chassis, so that more people could bid on it (as Shiply couriers would need to pick it up, roll it into the van and roll it out to your buyer's driveway).

[A100man]

[Bhud]

Custom bike fails would be a hilarious and entertaining YouTube phenomenon. It's all entertainment at the end of the day. If you wanna fall asleep it's either Ceefax or some boring old cokehead doing a custom chop or bobber the proper way as if it's 1974. But seeing custom bike disasters would make us all feel good!

[Bhud]

How about this one then? Just for a bit of fun.

https://i.ibb.co/qkCc79Q/s-l1600.jpg

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225965423216

Lines don't flow. Tank isn't right (note the rear mounting). But mostly how the hardtail was done. The upper tubes look quite thin. I think the rear wheel wants to be farther back than it is. Looks to be an incomplete or improperly fitted hardtail conversion kit, that was never supposed to keep the original swingarm. What a strange way of doing it.

[Polarbear]

That rear end will never pass an MOT. In fact I doubt it would even get to the MOT station if you decided to ride it there.

Death trap.
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[Bhud]

For sure. When that hits its second or third speed bump, I'd expect that something would collapse.

I think it was probably a kit he couldn't get to install properly because it's a shaftie and he wasn't prepared to extend the shaft. Those tubes look like a part of a kit, coming nicely to a tapered end. Therefore, they must have been supposed to have been supported by downtubes going to the underside of the frame, rounding down and then horizontally like an old Matchless or Triumph, and the swinging arm was supposed to have been omitted. That's my guess. To have made it work, he would have had to either make a shaft housing or convert it to chain drive. The latter would have necessitated opening the engine and replacing the output shaft so he could fit a front sprocket. If he'd done so, he would have been able to place the rear wheel farther back and installed a fat rear tyre and rim. Maybe built new spoked wheels front and rear as well, to make it look right. The tank is also wrong for that bike, unless he could extend the rake.

Having looked at some British bikes, there's that flat seat and tank look they mostly have. If he was going for that look, a lot more planning and work would be required, as well as a different shape of tank. The path of least resistance would have been to go for an American sort of look, using that tank. Still would have needed to throw that rear wheel farther back and done the hardtail properly though. He ran out of ability there. It's probably a good parts bike for someone, as at least it sort of runs (and most of them don't). The position of the ignition key is bad, as it risks shutting off the bike if he puts both feet down at the lights. The fit and finish of the aftermarket parts is all junk and the parts he's chosen are cheap and of bad quality - just crap.

The rear is so weird.

[slowasyoulike]

[Bhud]

It requires a Q-plate for sure, under the rules.

You can only get historic vehicle status if:

"no ‘substantial changes’ have been made to the vehicle in the last 30 years, for example replacing the chassis, body, axles or engine to change the way the vehicle works"

Source:

https://www.gov.uk/historic-vehicles

That means it needs a Q-plate and an MOT, before it can be ridden on the road. But you'd have to be fucking nuts to ride that on the road. Bump, bump, crack - the rear will pop open somewhere.

[slowasyoulike]

[virus]

[WD Forte]

Found a pic of what appears to be a relatively unmolested xj750 frame
(albiet with rear end cut off)
the shock tops look connected though
you can see the load from the rear axle is connected to that rigid triangle in a fairly conventional way
https://imgur.com/FYf36NS.jpg

It looks like this guy had a better idea and allowed the swinging arm to still 'swing' so all the weight/force on the rear end relies on the welds and the long skinny looking bar holding up

Yeah that'll do it, what could possibly go wrong?

https://imgur.com/l1CJRDx.jpg
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bikers smell of wee

[Ste]

Union Jack on a Japanese bike?

Union Jack flag design that's wrong?



But perhaps the most baffling thing about that bike shaped object is that two people have bid on the auction.

[Bhud]

Exactly. The swingarm is still allowed to swing up. I reckon if someone sits on it, you'd see those skinny upper tubes deflect.
The whole thing is just awful. What was he thinking?

[A100man]