29. bonny_ricardo

Sex change patient bonny_ricardo has undergone a lot of pain and trauma since she/he used to feature in Dr Who under his former guise - Bonnie Langford. At present he has undergone the name change (he retained the ?bonny? as he said that this ?reflects my outlook on life? and 'reminds me of who I used to be') and is currently taking testosterone by the bucket load in an attempt to reduce his voice from dog calling decibel levels to something more manly. In fact Doctors hope he will have a voice similar to that bloke who does voice overs for horror films within 2 years and Bollocks the size of a Mini Cooper S if he continues with the treatment. Bonny?s prosthetic penis is being fitted next week and on his request it is 3 times larger than the national average. A source inside the hospital where the work is being undertaken said that he might have trouble adjusting his bike riding style due to the size of his new crotch. ?In fact?? the source continued ??he won?t have seen a cock that big on a tank since George Bush rode into Washington on a turret waving the Stars ?n Stripes following his Presidential election win.?

7. bonny_ricardo

Why type a one word response when you can get away with six soddin? paragraphs? Self appointed BCF intellectual and Scottish Scrabble title holder bonny is one in a long line of BCF recovery successes. Joined back in 2004 and acted like a complete tosser until he stopped pr?cising his posts and began using the BCF synonym tool. Since then his BCF cache has gone through the roof and he?s developed RSI in his fingers, toes and nose (and gone through 28 wireless keyboards).

Expect any thread involving his favourite subject?s - Turtles, Sex and Drugs (not Turtle Sex and Drugs he?s asked me to point out although methinks the lady doth protest too much!) to contain more syllables than a stuttering welsh train station announcer on speed.

I'm Bonny and I have a low tolerance of other people. I consider myself better than almost everyone I meet and I can't imagine if I ran into you (yes you) I'd have a particularly high opinion of you at all. Despite having a relatively stable and affluent upbringing I resent my parents, particuarly my Dad, for not being able to relinquish the control they exercised over me for the first couple of decades of my life, despite this being a surprisingly common failing in parents who don't like to admit their grown-up children are now actual real people. I grudgingly came back to this awful country (where you all scrabble round in the gutter for morsels of food - ugh) to attend my grandparents' potential last shindig before they shuffle off this mortal coil on condition that my dad bankroll my escape to the furthest corner of the world I can get from him; a favour which I'm going to return by throwing his money back at him the first opportunity I get and never speaking to him again.