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The Pork Lord
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All About nowhere.elysium
Joined:  02 Mar 2009
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Total posts:  8,969 (0.22% of total / 2.85 posts per day)
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Location:  East London
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Occupation:  Maker of stuff.
Interests:  Digital fabrication, motorbikes, programming.
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nowhere.elysium's Public Bio
I fix stuff. Primarily computer-based, although I've spent more than enough time in the guts of various motorbikes to be able to help, if asked politely. I also make stuff, as evidenced by the 3D printer thread in my sig, as well as the digital dash that I really need to get on and finish.

Mechanically competent, Socially inept. While I'm happy to help solve your problems, don't expect me to make polite conversation about it. Also, don't be a pillock, and we'll get along fine. Unless you hate acerbic humour, in which case you're screwed.

Biking history - 2008 Chinese XF125GY (sold), 1996 Suzuki Bandit 600S (sold), 2010 Suzuki SV650S (modding slowly), 1982 Suzuki GS650GT (rebuilding slowly).

Oddly enough, the Chinese thing was also a licensed Suzuki engine. I'm noticing something of a pattern here.


Chinese thing:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7215/7135188993_5de385a7ab_z.jpg
Not the best bike to learn on, but once you've got some experience, it's a hoot, purely because it's so damn shonky.

Bandit 600:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7202/6862162375_55275f45a2_z.jpg
This was a money pit. I bought a dud - no question of it. It was in distinctly better nick when i sold it than when I bought it.

SV650SF:
http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7254/6989104596_e1109becee_z.jpg
Everyone accuses these of being the homosex, but I have plans. I reckon with a drastic enough change to the gearing, it could be a laugh. For now, it's a worthy commuter. See the Questionable DIY dash project for more details. I'll also be re-gearing it, and probably doing other things. Operation: TurdPolish has commenced.

GS650GT:
http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6094/6225556597_9bfa8bee3b_z.jpg
Giggety. Finally got the thing to live - it turned out that the 8 valve I4 oil boilers don't like inline fuel filters one bit. Go figure. Still, looking forward to racking up some uber-smooth miles on this beast Very Happy
It has, however, since died, thanks to electrical twattery. Time for a strip down and clean-up, methinks.

Non-petrochemically-powered transport:
http://farm6.staticflickr.com/5453/9564756596_05074f196d_z_d.jpg
Hub braking is an acquired taste.

Opinions on other bikes that I've ridden:

SR125 - Horrible, tiny thing, with a crap clutch (at least, the one I rode had a crap clutch), a stupid seating position, and blatant cruiser aspirations. Despicable thing.

CB125TDC - I originally bought one for my Mrs, but I have to admit, given the choice to go back, I wouldn't ever inflict one of these on anyone. They're horrible to work on, thanks to the Japanese having the demented idea that JIS was a good thing. On the up side, I managed to make a 40 profit on it, and learned an awful lot about mechanics and maintenance.

CBF125 - Meh. It's a sewing machine. With fuel injection, and godawful electrics.

VFR400 - it's tiny, like some kind of toy. I'm far too big for it. Having had another go on one, I revise this opinion. May have just been the setup of the first one that I rode (given that the owner is significantly smaller than I). Makes a nice sound, though.

SP-1 - sounds like Thor having a wank in an echo canyon. Aside from the 5 degree handlebar range, it's awesome. I still get a semi just reminiscing about it. I must have a litre V-twin at some point.

Bandit 12 - open the throttle, an ominous rumbling occurs, and the world moves around me. This pleases me.

ER-5 - I would rather shove live hornets up my arse than ride one of these again.

KZ650 - retro loveliness. This is one of the reasons that I really, really want my GS running again. Old bikes are brilliant.

XT600 - bit porky, but with a decent can, it sounds like you're being followed by the Gaza strip. I approve.

SRX400 - this had potential to be great, but the one that I had a go on had shagged bearings everywhere. If I'd been able to buy it and could afford to drop n hundred pounds on reconditioning it, I would've done. Reality forced me to look away, though.

Sportster 1200 - in a very brief fit of bi-curiosity, I had a go on one of these. I can't get along with a 45-degree V-twin; it just feels weird. Probably the most manoeuvrable of the Harley cruisers, I still wouldn't buy one, unless it was heavily subsidised, and ratted. Even then, I'd have to think about it. Loadsa torque, buggerall actual 'go'.

T100 - this was pretty much the oldest bike I'd ever ridden, and aside from having everything the wrong way round, it was actually surprisingly capable. Given my hatred of parallel twins, I honestly thought I'd despise it, but a well-sorted one is a great deal of fun to ride. Pity you've got to buy shares in Hermetite in order to be able to run one, though.

NTV650 - Well, it's a 650 V-twin that's actually more boring than an SV, which many thought impossible. It's a Honda, so hard to kill, but has the flattest power delivery known to man. Scores around a 'meh' out of ten, so better than the ER-5, then.

CBR600F - Nice bike. Felt very composed, although I remain nervous of anything that revs beyond 11k; that's probably just me, though. Otherwise, very impressive, with a properly comfortable riding position. I can see why they're so popular.

CG125 - They're entertaining wee things. Pushrod engine, which means I can repair it with stationery supplies if it goes bang, kickstart too, meaning no modern contrivances like storage batteries or their damnable ilk. Perfect apocalypse bike, I reckon.

Skyteam Gorilla - I got about a minute or two on this, and I can't say that I enjoyed it overmuch. I had distinctly more fun stripping the loom back and reassembling the thing than I did riding it.


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