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Lil Joe Tek
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All About phantomtek
Joined:  20 May 2005
Total posts:  5,304 (0.12% of total / 0.94 posts per day)
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phantomtek's Public Bio
My Favourite quotes from BCF, mainly starring robby

Robby on McGee - they must put stupid in the water over there

Reuben on his 125 - sadly it makes me as sexy as a redneck in dungarees carrying a pot of shit

TomC on my birthday thread - Phantomtek, The Happy birthdayer becomes the happy birthdayed

Robby on a past experience - Was on a school trip. Some fat kid I didn't like pushed in front of me in the queue, then skied straight into a marker pole and ruptured his spleen. Who's laughing now, fat boy.

Wave2k on homework - homework is like giving me mail to deliver in my own time

Banter in Irc between Shaggy and Bendy:

[19:25] <bend> i slept til noon which is very unlike me
[19:26] <bend> then of course woke up grumpy with a sore back
[19:26] <BCF> TheShaggyDA: did the other 6 dwarves stay asleep?

Mister James on gammac*ntuk - They don't treat you like shit because you are british, they treat you like shit because you are a shit

Bonny_Ricardo - I do recall downloading some very dodgy animal porn

Robby in Irc:

[22:27] <ggg_> I've decided I'd make an arsehole policeman Smile
[22:27] <Mr_Jefferson> lmao
[22:27] <robby-> i'd like to police jeff's arsehole

IRC discourse between Jay and Shaun

[19:02] <BCF> hellsbells neicy has joined Live Chat
[19:03] <BCF> jay12329: got my new memory card for the camera today.
[19:03] <BCF> hellsbells neicy has left Live Chat
[19:04] <Shaun|> ffs jay
[19:04] <BCF> jay12329: what shaun?
[19:04] <Shaun|> can you bore every woman away that quickly?

Robby on RPG use in Thailand -

[16:23] <robby_> unless i could fire an rpg at a cow from a hotel window while a young thai hooker is sucking me off
[16:23] <robby_> that would be possibly the most perfect thing that could ever happen

[21:43] <RS-Burger> what did i say yesterday about 12 year olds
[21:43] <stee> we probably dont want to know

[17:33] <Mr_Jefferson> on anal insurance
[17:34] <robby_> jeff can't get anal insurance
[17:34] <robby_> because they just know he'd be claiming every time he saw me

[20:21] <Shaun> go commute off a cliff craig

[23:24] <Rookie-> gay parties are best

[01:41] <BCF> RooRoo: my mum ignored me for 2 days over christmas cos i came home with a few mates and pissed on the dog..

[03:33] <DaveHorse> im gonna slap you in the face with my hard on
[03:33] <DaveHorse> does that count as a weapon

Post of the year -

Flip on MSN:

Phantomtek says: pip n phanny - we put that firecracker in the girls shitter
flip says: LOL
flip says: i'd put more than my firecracker in her shitter

flip says: Where there's a womb, there's a way

xlizx - I got slapped by a six year old boy dressed as the Incredible Hulk last night

Rick (Black Knight) says:
I didnt in the end as dodds stopped over. Didnt want to leave him in the house alone with my Mrs, he might overpower her and raid the fridge.

WR450_geezer on how to deal with my boring Biology teacher:

WR450_geezer says: pull him to one side
WR450_geezer says: say, 'look mate you're shit, can I just go on a comp and teach myself''
WR450_geezer says: if he refuses, show him the bulge in your pocket. Tell him your not excited to see him.

[18:25] <Wave2k> LOL i thought the french lodger wasnt in earlier
[18:25] <Wave2k> i was all alone i thought
[18:25] <Wave2k> so i put a porno on
[18:25] <Wave2k> full blast
[18:25] <Mr_Jefferson> lmfao

Bend and G talking:

[17:24] <bend> mind you, he also told me his hat was 'cool'
[17:25] <ggg___> bet he told you jaffa cakes only have 1g of fat aswell.

Gaz when we wondered how to pronounce Maurice's name:

[21:40] <Mr_Jefferson> is it morris or mo-reese
[21:40] <[G-a-z]> I often wonder that Jefferson, I'll have that dilemna about 10 seconds before I take my lid off to say hello.
[21:41] <[G-a-z]> I might go out on the offensive, give him a black man hand shake, give him some love and call him "MO-REESE"
[21:42] <Maur|ce> lol
[21:42] <[G-a-z]> Don't you laugh, you're in for some severe black man handshaking!

Gaz and Hex talking about women:

[20:58] <Hex-> Gaz the best bit is I finish one and theres alist of others my better half wants me to do
[20:58] <[G-a-z]> Shake your fist at her and simply growl "why I autta..."
[20:58] <[G-a-z]> repeat as necessary.
[20:59] <Hex-> rather shake my willy and tell her she better get sucking
[20:59] <[G-a-z]> Good plan!
[20:59] <[G-a-z]> That's why I don't get enough blowjobs
[20:59] <[G-a-z]> too much fist shaking.
[20:59] <[G-a-z]> Wow, that sounded wrong.

whackamole on life:

Dunco says:
its never gonna be easy street but look at it seriously -- theres so much fun u can have -- and not at the expense of anybody else -- indeed same as biking -- thing is we know the crack -- every1 else is in a fucking dreamworld of shit

Toby on insurance:

[23:32] <tobyr> I was like "do it for ?240 and I'll take it" and he was like "omfg lol hax?!? admin??!"

[21:32] <Mr_Jefferson> wayne rooney is a fat ugly shite
[21:32] <Mr_Jefferson> is it just me that hates him
[21:32] <bend> is he a footballist?

[20:31] <Goose> i kant tipe, so i jus rite on teh skreen wif crayon

[21:50:26] [Rookie-] how can you express a fraction as a decimal?

02:35:53 tobyr: "Pop" to yours?
02:35:57 tobyr: How middle class of you

.:: Phantomtek ::. says: and ill be sat like a square in the corner with the small indian catholic bird
Flip says: lololol she might be a goer tho
Flip says: then i'll stir your porridge

02:23:41 Luke: any fuck u phantom im gunna make love to anders just to spite joo
02:24:12 Luke: stick that in pipe and quote it cuntface

21:18:12 Craig-: time for abit of The Killers
21:18:51 Craig-: gotta love the new album 'Sam's Town'
21:19:13 Swaffs has joined IRC
21:19:14 ZakNafien: you really do need shooting

Palmer on Shemales

palmer says: God Damn Fit Men.

[22:25] <Teaman> lets play the /quit game
[22:26] <Teaman> type /quit after 3
[22:26] <Teaman> 1
[22:26] <Teaman> 2
[22:26] * jamiestokes has quit IRC (Quit)
[22:26] <Teaman> 3
[22:26] <Phantomtek> LMAO

Me on Instigator being a bad influence:

.:: Phantomtek ::. says:
its like Tom is the angel on my left shoulder, and you are the ginger bastard on my right shoulder
Greg says:
Your left shoulder must be fucking aching then

BLUEX5 on Warpedthelyingbellend:

You fucking monumental bangstick of the highest order.

Fucking close bond???? It's not the bastard Somme in 1918 is it???? Just a bunch of metal bashers tacking shit together!

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