My sister lost her baby

[ram_doom]

Not completely sure I should post this but I have no idea what to do. My sister's baby was due this month, but lately she's been losing fluid from the womb and not feeling the baby kick. She went for a scan earlier and the baby has died

She's in a hell of a mess and I feel awful as I was really angry with her and her boyfriend for getting pregnant and what not, I'm shocked. How can she be helped
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TL1000s, KDX200

[Handsome]

Sorry to hear of your Sisters loss, Thoughts are with Her and the family.....

The only thing you can realy do is be there for her when she needs you.....
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[Dragonfly]

i am really sorry to hear the loss.

be there for your sis when she needs you and her boyfriend as its hard on both of them.

just offer support and a shoulder to cry on. xxxxxx
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[JodieWodie]

That is terribly sad
Not really much you can say to her...
just 'be there', as has been said

Don't feel bad about the past, you only had her best in mind
Concentrate on getting her through the near future by being the strong caring sibling

JO xx
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Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"

[msgander]

Easy to say being away from the situation, but I am firm believer in that things happen for good reasons and this just obviously wasnt meant to be, not the right time, the body is a strange thing and cleverer than we think.

Friend lost a baby bout a month ago and was in bits....its worse the more far gone you are.

In honesty a completely horrible thing to happen to anyone and my thoughts go out to you and your sister.

Be there for her, lots of hugs, nothing else you can do, but rest assured she isnt alone.

May help her to get on some forums that deal with subjects like these, the friend above who lost her baby has found one particular chat room of big support and has really helped her get through it.
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Always believe that your guardian angel flies a bit faster than you...............

[Ork12]

Sounds terrible try and be there for her.
Alex

[BanditBitch]

thats very, very sad... I'm really sorry to hear about it.

Your sister must be heart-broken and her pain must be immense.

There will probably be a member of the midwifery staff at the hospital that is qualified in counselling couples that have lost their baby, but I should imagine your sister will be made aware of this option and might find it useful in the future, to help her through her grief.

There is also a support website, which your sister and her partner might find helpful.


https://www.uk-sands.org/

Take Care.
BB

[ram_doom]

Thanks for the kind words people, its horrible, already talk of post mortems and funeral. She's a mess.

And thank you for the website bandit
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TL1000s, KDX200

[tribal_tiger]

Me and the missus went through exactly the same thing 2 years ago, It's just been the anniversary a couple of weeks ago so it's all been flooding back.

Just give support, it's all anyone can do.

My girlfriend found a very good support forum on a web site called ivillage.co.uk It's shocking how many people go through the same thing
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

All of it.

[tribal_tiger]

I just found something my girlfriend got sent when we went through this. I know it's quite cheesy but I can still get choked up reading through it.

****************************

What makes a mother?

I thought of you and closed my eyes,
And prayed to god today,
I asked what makes a mother?
And i know i heard him say.......

A mother has a baby,
This we know is true,
But God can you be a mother,
When your baby`s not with you?

Yes you can he replied,
With confidence in his voice,
I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some i send for a lifetime,
And others for just a day,
And some i send to feel your womb,
But theres no need to stay.

I just don`t understand this God,
I want my baby here,
He took a breath and cleared his throat,
And then i saw a tear.

I wish i could show you,
What your child is doing today,
If you could see your wee one smile,
With other children and say.......

We go to earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear,
My mummy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mum,
Who had so much love for me,
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My mummy set me free.

I miss my mummy oh so much,
But i visit her each day,
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillows where i lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear,
Mummy don`t be sad today,
I`m your baby and i`m here.

So you see my dear sweet one,
Your children are ok,
Your babies are in my home,
And this is where they`ll stay.

They`ll wait for you, with me,
Until your lesson there is through,
And on the day that you come home,
They`ll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a mother,
Its the feeling in your heart,
Its the love you had so much of,
Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realise,
Until there time is done,
Remember all the love you have,
And know that you are a `Special Mum`........

God bless all our angels xxxxxx
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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

All of it.

[nc30 chick]

That was one of the most touching poems I have ever read.

So sorry for your sister at this hard time.

[byke95]

Sorry to hear, not pleasant at all.

I hope this doesn't sound cold/brutal but I hope your sister and her fella can look upon this, not as a 'loss', but as a completely natural event: if the featous is not fit for life then the body will do the best thing it can, abort it. I'm assuming, possibly wrongly, that this was a 'natural' abortion and not due to a biological problem with the womb.

I'm not sure if this is coming out right at all...it's just that with a 'loss' it will always be a loss and, like Tribal said, will come flooding back. As a natural event the event may not seem so bad: nothing has been 'lost'. I guess what I'm trying to say is try and help your sister see this in a positive (can't think of a better word), she has done nothing wrong and it's important that she is helped to realise this (simply being told this will of course be no help at all).

I wish her and her fella (who are often forgotten) well for the future.

If it validates it at my friend is going through the same, she is trying her best to see it in the way mentioned above and is showing amazing courage. Also, whilst not experiencing this first hand, my mother had a full term still born girl. She was my twin.

[Born2bVile]

We had a miscarriage a few years back. Useless bastard hospital said 'tough shit' and gave us a leaflet.

Took them 48 hours between going to a&e and seeing anybody from the maternity department. By which time it was too late.

We already have two beautiful lads, and a 'Mother Nature can be a bitch' attitude, so we just rolled with the punches, so to speak.

All you can do is be there for the person, but try not to smother them.

Cheers,

Byrnie.
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NABD Treasurer
National Association for Bikers with a Disability
Reg Charity No. 1040907

[ram_doom]

Thanks for the kind words everybody tribal that poem is touching, my sis has been reading the replies and that poem brought a tear to her eye. Were really grateful to you all, and byke thanks for the insight and helping to rationalise the events, their looking forward to having the oppertunity to try again one day.

Born2bvile, thats horrible. The hospital made an error with my sis also, when she couldnt feel the baby move, she went to get a scan but they said something appeared not quite right but didnt explain. Then this

Worst thing is that she has to deliver her baby tomorrow. And then the funeral next week, its awful.
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TL1000s, KDX200

[beatnck]

sad sad thing to happen mate, i really feel for your sis and her fella..
that poem has really touched me. its difficult to find the words in circumstances like this, but i hope she gets through today and the future, i really feel for her

[suzi_bandit]