Domestic violence query

[Dan 4RR]

I know domestic violence is a touchy subject so I’ll do my best and try not to offend someone. But I’m taking about the domestic violence with a twist. The violence men suffer at the hands of their girlfriends/wives etc that is very rarely talked about, no doubt because it doesn’t happen a lot.

I remember a few backs when a woman was a guest on the Richard and Judy show because she was on the verge on being sent to prison because she had beaten up her previous husbands (iirc she had been married 3 times) and this got me thinking, there is not a lot out there in terms of help lines etc for the men who suffer this sort of domestic abuse. I know one person on these boards who was beaten/smacked around by his g/f I’m not gonna spill the beans but you know who you are.

I absolutely hate wife beaters, I think their cowards of the earth and would take great pleasure in killing every last one, but I think there is also a stigma attached to hitting woman dating from school days. I remember at school if you hit a girl you were called a “poof” (No offence to the homosexual’s among us) but that’s what you were called. But when your older it goes from being a puff to a wife beater (Stella, etc). One of my male friends was quite badly smacked around by his g/f, but he didn’t get up and hit her back, kill her etc he just took it because he didn’t want to be labelled as a poof, a wife beater etc. I know most women who might read this or hear of women standing up for themselves as a sort of revenge for all those woman who have been killed or get beaten up regularly by the hands of their men, a sort of ‘you go girlfriend’ attitude for all those woman who might not of had the courage or those who died at the hands of these sick beasts. Meh, I’ll stop ranting for now cause I’m losing track, but I don’t condemn ANY beatings regardless of sex. It’s disgusting.
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[Mr.Everready]

Is there a question in there somewhere ?
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[Whosthedaddy]

[Dan 4RR]

[Whosthedaddy]

Its a thing that only happens in TV soaps

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/de/Paul_arth_fryin.jpg/200px-Paul_arth_fryin.jpg

Sorry, I'll be serious from here on in.
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[scorps]

whether a man hits a woman or vice versa, same with mental cruelty, my ex husband was good with words and sometimes i wished hed have hit me instead, however i walked away from everything with my two daughters and im in a happy relationship now, the thought of my partner being cruel verbally or physically is impossible to imagine and hes my best friend, mind if a bloke hit me id smash their face in
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[Black Knight]

Interesting point Dan.

If a woman hit me, i'd hit her back. I've a very strong sense of right and wrong. Forget the law, forget social expectations, forget what is expected of you. If I believe what I am doing is right, I will continue to do it regardless of the consequences.

I think the statement 'You should never hit a woman' is a very small minded statement. personally, I don't believe anybody should be hitting anybody unless they've got a damn good reason. I also believe, that often mental abuse, is just, if not more damnging than physical.
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[alliamc]

That's the last time I tickle my boyfriend!! (it's a form of assault!)

Seriously though, the support lines for women are open to men too, no-one said they can't use the same ones, it's just that there is more stigma to a man calling out for help over his girlfriend/wife beating him up than there is for a woman being beaten by her partner so I'm guessing a lot of men just take the beating rather than facing the embarassment.

I agree that no-one should be hitting their partners, male or female, but it happens. I know a girl that used to get beaten up regularly and the psychological effects now that she's free of him (after 5years of being beaten) are too much for her to trust anyone again. Anyone that does it should be ashamed. And be beaten up by very large, heavy men.
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[colin1]

[Nicky-Jano]

[Rookie]

If anyone hits me and I can take them, I'll hit them back. I'm not going to discriminate because of gender or race or whatever.

Fact is I can't see myself in a relationship where my partner would hit me and I'm scared that they'll do it. I'm not going to say 'I'm lucky I haven't', because I just can't see it. But suffice to say, if I did end u[ in that situation I wouldn't be in it for long.

[Villers]

I too have been on the other end of this treatment from a mental ex. Its all well and fair to say 'I'd hit her back' or 'leave the house' but when she does it in a packed bar or nightclub for no good reason, if you retailiate theres only one of you going to end up in the shit.


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[st3v3]

I wouldn't condone hitting a woman altho if I ever found myself victim to a wife/GF's assaults, I would leave, without hitting her. but there is a fair share of women that could more than handle a domestic situation, but cos they handle it you never hear about it, only the 'I couldn't defend myself, he was just too strong' story...
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[Black Knight]

Totalloy agree with you Colin. But thats the perception, its always the man thats in the wrong and it really pisses me off.

I know there are some men out there that have done some truly terrible things but its vice versa too and its not often the woman gets carted off and put in the cells.

Only this morning I know a guy is in court for wifebeating. Don't know the exact details but He said he pushed her, she's got injuries and reported him.

Seems open and shut but bear in mind his wife is a big woman and has been training in kickboxing for many years. Many I time I have seen him come to work limping or with bruises. Only a couple of weeks ago she slammed a car for on my GF's shins. Now tell me she hasn't got a temper problem and its clear cut.
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Where does a turn end? 'Where you can do anything with the gas you want to, where you are brave again, where your attention is free from the turn, where you are sure you can do it better next time; that's the end' - Keith Code.

[fenton]

I agree with pretty much every post in this thread, but as too hitting them back im not so sure. Men in general are a lot bigger and stronger, and can do a helluva lot more damage. I wouldnt so much hit a woman back as restrain her. Get her on the floor, make her imobile, wait till she calms down.