Resend my activation email : Register : Log in 
BCF: Bike Chat Forums


Domestic violence query

Reply to topic
Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF...
View previous topic : View next topic  
Author Message

Dan 4RR
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:35 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Domestic violence query Reply with quote

I know domestic violence is a touchy subject so I’ll do my best and try not to offend someone. But I’m taking about the domestic violence with a twist. The violence men suffer at the hands of their girlfriends/wives etc that is very rarely talked about, no doubt because it doesn’t happen a lot.

I remember a few backs when a woman was a guest on the Richard and Judy show because she was on the verge on being sent to prison because she had beaten up her previous husbands (iirc she had been married 3 times) and this got me thinking, there is not a lot out there in terms of help lines etc for the men who suffer this sort of domestic abuse. I know one person on these boards who was beaten/smacked around by his g/f I’m not gonna spill the beans but you know who you are.

I absolutely hate wife beaters, I think their cowards of the earth and would take great pleasure in killing every last one, but I think there is also a stigma attached to hitting woman dating from school days. I remember at school if you hit a girl you were called a “poof” (No offence to the homosexual’s among us) but that’s what you were called. But when your older it goes from being a puff to a wife beater (Stella, etc). One of my male friends was quite badly smacked around by his g/f, but he didn’t get up and hit her back, kill her etc he just took it because he didn’t want to be labelled as a poof, a wife beater etc. I know most women who might read this or hear of women standing up for themselves as a sort of revenge for all those woman who have been killed or get beaten up regularly by the hands of their men, a sort of ‘you go girlfriend’ attitude for all those woman who might not of had the courage or those who died at the hands of these sick beasts. Meh, I’ll stop ranting for now cause I’m losing track, but I don’t condemn ANY beatings regardless of sex. It’s disgusting. Sad Evil or Very Mad Thumbs Down
____________________
Humans....the largest form of cancer the world has ever seen!
Speed Cameras - Putting goverment revenue before public safety!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Mr.Everready
World Chat Champion



Joined: 28 Mar 2003
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:39 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is there a question in there somewhere ? Laughing
____________________
the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Whosthedaddy
Super Spammer



Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:42 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Re: Domestic violence query Reply with quote

Dan 4RR wrote:
The violence men suffer at the hands of their girlfriends/wives etc that is very rarely talked about


Male rape is the same, or even rape within a marriage.
____________________
Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Dan 4RR
World Chat Champion



Joined: 02 Dec 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:52 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr.Everready wrote:
Is there a question in there somewhere ? Laughing
Lol. Yes but it's hidden amoungst the rantings Laughing What do people think about domestic violence and has it effected there life or someone close to them ??
____________________
Humans....the largest form of cancer the world has ever seen!
Speed Cameras - Putting goverment revenue before public safety!
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Whosthedaddy
Super Spammer



Joined: 11 Dec 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 21:59 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Its a thing that only happens in TV soaps

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/de/Paul_arth_fryin.jpg/200px-Paul_arth_fryin.jpg

Sorry, I'll be serious from here on in.
____________________
Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

scorps
World Chat Champion



Joined: 29 Jan 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:40 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: its bad news Reply with quote

whether a man hits a woman or vice versa, same with mental cruelty, my ex husband was good with words and sometimes i wished hed have hit me instead, however i walked away from everything with my two daughters and im in a happy relationship now, the thought of my partner being cruel verbally or physically is impossible to imagine and hes my best friend, mind if a bloke hit me id smash their face in Laughing
____________________
Do not presume that I am male.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Black Knight
World Chat Champion



Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:41 - 25 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Interesting point Dan.

If a woman hit me, i'd hit her back. I've a very strong sense of right and wrong. Forget the law, forget social expectations, forget what is expected of you. If I believe what I am doing is right, I will continue to do it regardless of the consequences.

I think the statement 'You should never hit a woman' is a very small minded statement. personally, I don't believe anybody should be hitting anybody unless they've got a damn good reason. I also believe, that often mental abuse, is just, if not more damnging than physical.
____________________
Where does a turn end? 'Where you can do anything with the gas you want to, where you are brave again, where your attention is free from the turn, where you are sure you can do it better next time; that's the end' - Keith Code.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

alliamc
Nearly there...



Joined: 04 Jun 2003
Karma :

PostPosted: 01:24 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's the last time I tickle my boyfriend!! (it's a form of assault!)

Seriously though, the support lines for women are open to men too, no-one said they can't use the same ones, it's just that there is more stigma to a man calling out for help over his girlfriend/wife beating him up than there is for a woman being beaten by her partner so I'm guessing a lot of men just take the beating rather than facing the embarassment.

I agree that no-one should be hitting their partners, male or female, but it happens. I know a girl that used to get beaten up regularly and the psychological effects now that she's free of him (after 5years of being beaten) are too much for her to trust anyone again. Anyone that does it should be ashamed. And be beaten up by very large, heavy men.
____________________
Alli x
https://www.bikepics.com/members/alliamc/
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

colin1
Captain Safety



Joined: 17 Feb 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 18:27 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Black Knight wrote:
Interesting point Dan.

If a woman hit me, i'd hit her back. I've a very strong sense of right and wrong. Forget the law, forget social expectations, forget what is expected of you. If I believe what I am doing is right, I will continue to do it regardless of the consequences.



Be very careful

I had a gf who would have tantrums and hit me a bit, not enough for it to really hurt, but it is a bit humiliating, and attempts at kneeing a bloke in the balls are just not on, even if they are lame and ineffective.

One time all i did was restrain her to stop her from hitting me by holding her by the elbows.

She was bawling and shouting enough for neighbours to either be concerned or pissed off, so the police came round.

By this point I had the gf safely outside in the back garden for some chill out time, but where I had held her to restrain her, there were brusies, so of course the police are looking at me as a guilty party.

Fortunately the gf had chilled out by then, but if she had been the vengeful sort she could have pressed charges. This sort of thing stays on your record even if you dont get convicted.

Best plan is to just leave the house for a bit until the bezerker hormonal loon calms down.

I would prefer to boot her out into the garden as it was my house so why should I have to go for a walk because she is having a tantrum. This is a bit of a dangerous policy as the temporary eviction leads to more wailing and bawling.
____________________
colin1 is officially faster than god
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Nicky-Jano
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 20 Feb 2007
Karma :

PostPosted: 18:45 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I think the statement 'You should never hit a woman' is a very small minded statement. personally, I don't believe anybody should be hitting anybody unless they've got a damn good reason. I also believe, that often mental abuse, is just, if not more damnging than physical.


Too true. Cliche as it sounds but physical scars can heal, mental take a lot longer if ever to heal.
Ever noticed that you can get complimented all day, yet one degrading comment and you forget all the nice things said and focus on the bad comment.
Things like that stick.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

Rookie
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 Feb 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 19:11 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

If anyone hits me and I can take them, I'll hit them back. I'm not going to discriminate because of gender or race or whatever.

Fact is I can't see myself in a relationship where my partner would hit me and I'm scared that they'll do it. I'm not going to say 'I'm lucky I haven't', because I just can't see it. But suffice to say, if I did end u[ in that situation I wouldn't be in it for long.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Villers
World Chat Champion



Joined: 13 Sep 2004
Karma :

PostPosted: 20:05 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I too have been on the other end of this treatment from a mental ex. Its all well and fair to say 'I'd hit her back' or 'leave the house' but when she does it in a packed bar or nightclub for no good reason, if you retailiate theres only one of you going to end up in the shit.

Neutral
____________________
RS125 > CBR6 > SV650S > ZX636R > GSX1300RZ Hayabusa > 06 RSVR Mille ≥ Sv1000s somehow
'You came on your own, thats how you'll leave'
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

st3v3
Super Spammer



Joined: 16 Oct 2006
Karma :

PostPosted: 23:52 - 26 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn't condone hitting a woman altho if I ever found myself victim to a wife/GF's assaults, I would leave, without hitting her. but there is a fair share of women that could more than handle a domestic situation, but cos they handle it you never hear about it, only the 'I couldn't defend myself, he was just too strong' story...
____________________
Roger wrote: Women don't get damp for clingy puppies. Get some better happy pills, hit the gym & buy a medallion the size of a dinner plate. Job done
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message You must be logged in to rate posts

Black Knight
World Chat Champion



Joined: 22 Feb 2005
Karma :

PostPosted: 08:55 - 27 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Totalloy agree with you Colin. But thats the perception, its always the man thats in the wrong and it really pisses me off.

I know there are some men out there that have done some truly terrible things but its vice versa too and its not often the woman gets carted off and put in the cells.

Only this morning I know a guy is in court for wifebeating. Don't know the exact details but He said he pushed her, she's got injuries and reported him.

Seems open and shut but bear in mind his wife is a big woman and has been training in kickboxing for many years. Many I time I have seen him come to work limping or with bruises. Only a couple of weeks ago she slammed a car for on my GF's shins. Now tell me she hasn't got a temper problem and its clear cut.
____________________
Where does a turn end? 'Where you can do anything with the gas you want to, where you are brave again, where your attention is free from the turn, where you are sure you can do it better next time; that's the end' - Keith Code.
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail You must be logged in to rate posts

fenton
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 May 2006
Karma :

PostPosted: 11:09 - 27 Mar 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I agree with pretty much every post in this thread, but as too hitting them back im not so sure. Men in general are a lot bigger and stronger, and can do a helluva lot more damage. I wouldnt so much hit a woman back as restrain her. Get her on the floor, make her imobile, wait till she calms down.

Quote:
The violence men suffer at the hands of their girlfriends/wives etc that is very rarely talked about, no doubt because it doesn’t happen a lot.


Its not that it doesnt happen, its that it doesnt get reported, or talked about as much in the press. Its seen as wrong for a fella to hit his missus, my dad works for the police, taking down details of crimes. And youd be suprised at how many more men are actually taking it to the police nowadays

Fenton Karma
 Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website You must be logged in to rate posts
Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 17 years, 38 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
  Display posts from previous:   
This page may contain affiliate links, which means we may earn a small commission if a visitor clicks through and makes a purchase. By clicking on an affiliate link, you accept that third-party cookies will be set.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Bike Chat Forums Index -> Dear Auntie BCF... All times are GMT + 1 Hour
Page 1 of 1

 
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum

Read the Terms of Use! - Powered by phpBB © phpBB Group
 

Debug Mode: ON - Server: birks (www) - Page Generation Time: 0.12 Sec - Server Load: 0.49 - MySQL Queries: 17 - Page Size: 95.4 Kb