Bike Jokes...

[r1_lad]

A mate of mine has recently become addicted to brake fluid so I told him to go and see a doctor...

He reckons he can stop whenever he wants!
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RS50 -> RS125 -> GSXR600 SRAD -> 02 R1 -> Speed Triple 1050 -> Ducati Streetfighter 1099 -> DRZ400 Superetard

[TechJinx]

I found this you may need it

https://luxepetite.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/1027-jcrew-dover-coat.jpg

and then pick one of these to leave by

https://farm1.static.flickr.com/180/460301122_ee4df52f9b.jpg?v=0
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bikes: SV650S K5 that is making me do this 57 CBR125 RW-7 - sold ; 54 CBR125 - anyone wanna buy a project?

YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.

[tintin]

What do you call a motorcyclist in a suit and tie?
















The Accused.
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The older I get the better I was

[thegubner]

[Endless Nameless]

I dunno, the joke is so bad I think jumping out of a window is a fairly appealing idea...
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A2 passed 22/07/08; restriction up 22/07/10 (just so I don't forget)
'79 Suzuki GS550E. Yes, that's a GS550, not a GS500.
Supersports "In a video editing competition I'd kick your sorry ass"

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
If you leave them alone long enough, they'll both mark their territory.
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My Flickr

[thegubner]

How do carp get to work?


On a motor pike.

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

Why do Harley's have tassles?

So you can tell they are moving.
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My Flickr

[r1_lad]

Old and crap but anyway...

95% of Harley's are still on the road...

The other 5% made it home!
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RS50 -> RS125 -> GSXR600 SRAD -> 02 R1 -> Speed Triple 1050 -> Ducati Streetfighter 1099 -> DRZ400 Superetard

[TechJinx]

[thegubner]

[Grav]

Biker sitting in a pub, quietly nursing his pint, when the door opens and in walks a lady of easily negotiable affection. She sits at the bar next to our hero and says in a husky voice, “Hey big boy, have you ever had a thrill?”

“Yeah,” replies the Bikerr, “I was out on my bike and was rippin’ down some country lanes; the sun was shinin’, the little birds wuz tweetin’, the bike was runnin’ sweet and everythin’ was cool.”

“No, silly,” I mean have you ever had a real thrill?” she asks again.

“Oh yeah,” he answers. “I was cranking it over into some really tight bends and the footpegs were scraping out wiv sparks flying behind me!”

Bloody hell, she thinks, this bloke is so thick his brain must be custard. I’ll make it simple for him.

“What I mean is,” she says, as she runs her hand up the inside of his thigh and squeezes his nuts, opens her legs to reveal a complete absence of panties and hair, “have you ever felt a cunt?”

“Yeah,” he sez. “I fell off.”



snigger........
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Dark Lord Of Custard

snigger.....

[DuNnInG_2K5]

[nick606]

A old bikers out in the country side on a ride and comes across a pub so he calls in. Outside there a sign saying pint £2, burger £5, handjob £10. When he goes in theres a stunning barmaid working behind the bar. So he goes upto her and asks "Are you the young lady who does the handjob ?" She reply "i sure am big boy"

"Well wash your hands luv i want a burger"

[Ben.]

[FerretFing]

Biker riding down the road and ran out of petrol. Just at that moment, a bee came upto him & taps him on the visor.

The bee says, "What seems to be the problem?"

'I'm out of petrol,' the biker replied.

The bee says "wait right there!" and flew away.

Minutes later, the biker watched as an entire swarm of bees flies over him & surround his bike & the chief bee gets the guy to open his petrol tank up.

To his amazement the whole swarm flies into his petrol tank.

After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

'Try it now,' said the bee.

Biker hits the starter and the bike started right up.

"Wow, What did you put in my tank?"

The bee answered…













Bee Pee

[Bishbash]

I had a crash on my bike the other day, I went straight up the back of this car, completely my fault. I see the door open and this dwarf gets out. Stomps up to my bike and thumps me on my leg,

A bit stunned, I say; "Whats up with you then?" He shouts back "I AM NOT HAPPY" So I said, "So which one are you then?" and that when the fight started.
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My current bikes are - YZF-R1 & GS 500 E

Trackday videos - https://www.youtube.com/user/bishbash13

[NexusDragon]

Statistics show that 80% of all Harley Davidsons are still on the road to this day - The other 20% managed to make it home.
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DAS Passed 19th April 08. 07' YBR125 > Yamaha FZ6 S2 '08 > 1998 YZF600R ThunderCat

[Dragonfly]

Jesus was a biker, because his Triumph could be heard though out the land
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Polo]

"20% made it home"?

r1_lad said it was 5%. Now which of you is lying?
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My mum smells your fingers

[Cptn. Awesome]

[NexusDragon]

[The999Kid]

This guy has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer and he picks out the perfect bike. While getting all the paperwork together, the dealer tells him about an old biker-trick that will keep the chrome on his new bike free from rust. The trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and put it on the chrome before it rains, and everything will be fine. He happily pays for the bike and leaves.
A few months later, the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She wants him to meet her parents so she asks him to come to dinner. He readily accepts and the date is set. At the appointed time, he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents' house. Before they go in, she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.
After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes, the young man decides to speed things up. He reaches over and kisses his woman in front of her family. No one says a word. Emboldened, he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. No one says a word. Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws HER on the table.
They have even wilder sex. No one says a word. He is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance. His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out his jar of Vaseline.
The father says "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes!"

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There's a fellow who is an avid rider. Actually he's a motorcycle fanatic.

He has not missed a weekend of motorcycle riding in years.

Every Saturday and Sunday morning he gets up very early and goes meets his buddies for a nice long ride. On this one morning, he gets up early, gets dressed, gets his riding gear out of the closet and goes out to the garage to prepare to leave.

While out there it started raining a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing at 30 mph. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the Weather Channel. From there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day long. So he puts his bike back into the garage and comes back inside. He quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding his bike today?"
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NDB 19/10/1989 - 1/11/2010 |Nowhere.Elyseum wrote: I get the distinct feeling that Tim should be our secret weapon for future trolling. I don't know many people that can rip the piss in Iambic pentameter

[Flip]

[Dragonfly]

quote]

You read one of my previous posts didn't ya? I do believe it was Moses with the triumph. Lol.[/quote]

Everyone knows that it was David and Goliath.[/quote]

No they had honda's! lol and find me a link to prove this! becuase I cant find one
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.