HOW CAN LONDON TOP CHINA'S OPENING CEREMONY IN 2012?

[gmanxiii]

Just found this on another forum and it gave me a chuckle, thought i might share.

[Mr Hammers]

No need to have an actual ceremony at all, we could just CGI the whole thing.
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[Tonka]

......my little rottie would like to put his paws up for number 9 please! He's not racist - just likes to chase anything that'll run and loves being the centre of attention!!

.....I'd like to think it's gonna be great, but suspect it may turn into a cringe-worthy farce. Still gotta get behind it all and make the best of it I suppose, rather than sit on arse and criticise, followed by the "I told you so" that's becoming such a British way of doing things
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[Skudd]

I don't think anyone could match the china effort so there is no point in trying. Whatever we do we need to make it look modern, professional and well thought out.
It wont go through what is thought of as the English history nor the British history as all others see is our bit in the slave trade, although we did do it very well.
Maybe we need to go for the way we absorb other cultures and make them ours. but we need to steer clear of getting too ethnic , that sounded wrong in this PC world, but we need not concentrate on Bob Marley and Gandhi.
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[GhostRider]

A squad of armed police gallop into a train carriage and unload an entire clip from their pistols into a seemingly innocent individuals face.

The police then pull out a large photo, and in a comic fashion look at the photo, at the victim, then the photo again, and then give a large forehead slapping motion. A man dressed as the chief of police comes an pats them all on the head, in a "there there" fashion".

Dancers then come flowing from behind, with brooms in their hands, and in a contemporary dance movement, brush the police and the corpse under a large carpet.

GhostRider
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[chrisw]

Best suggestion I've heard so far goes as follows:

1) Boris Johnson does a lap round the track on his bike
2) The Queen cuts a ribbon and declares the games 'started'

Done.