A guide to being a tart

Shaun · Likes 'em bent Joined: 17 May 2003 Karma :

To be a tart the first step is to buy the most expensive posing machine that you can and it doesn't have to be a cruiser, you can easily be tarty on a sports bike providing you make the right choices.

The first step that every budding tart should take after they have brought the bike that they wish to tart up is to buy a carbon tax disc holder like the ones shown below.

https://www.gear4bikers.co.uk/motraxcarbontaxholders.gif

These are available from https://www.gear4bikers.com

The next step would be to get everything you can on your bike covered in carbon, you can get everything from yoke covers, huggers, tank pads and even carbon wheels if you can afford it. Cool

Anodising, extremely tarty and relatively cheap to do. The problem with doing this is anodised bolts often break but hey, does it really matter, your bike will be tarted and we can afford to waste a bit of money to look good. If you go to https://www.tastynuts.com you can get all sorts of anodised nuts and bolts from there, you can even get a complte engine kit to really tart your bike up. Other options are anodised foot pegs and bar ends.

Rearsets, people use them to get a better riding position, or thats what they like to say but really its just something else to make you look tarty, they are clearly tarty since they are so expensive.

Tank pads, not only are they useful but they are a great way to express your tarty side, they come in so many different colours and designs that the possibilities are endless. You could just get a clear tank pad but that just wouldn't be very tarty of you would it, so go on get one with a decent design on it.

Your screen on your bike is clear, how boring, you just know that it needs to be more tarty, I would go for a tint of some colour to match your bike or a traditional black tint and to be truly tarty it has to be a double bubble screen, it aparrently has some streamlining advantages too but who cares when it looks that good.

https://www.indysuperbikes.com/Images1/double%20r1.jpg

Seat cowls, you could just get a seat cowl to cover up that nasty pillion seat or you could go all out and buy an after market solo seat unit, either way it means that you can remove those nasty pillion foot pegs and hangers to make your bike look that extra bit tarty. Cool

Fairings, not happy with the standard fairing design? Then why not have it resprayed and get a race replice paintjob done on it, not too difficult to do providing you can find all the correct stickers, although this must be done very carefully, one mis-placed sticker and all your tarty hard work is gone, it will look nasty and just wrong if you put a sticker in the wrong place.

So you think you've done everything you can to tart up your bike, your wrong. Polish your frame, it may be easier to have this done for you professionally, once done all you need to do is to keep it shiny with some polish and your tarty bike will look gorgeous, I use Auto-sol to keep my frame at its best, with a bit of elbow grease it can be mirror like in just a few hours.

When all of this has been done you should get called a tart by everyone you know and you should be proud of it because your bike will attract a lot of attention from people just wanting to look at how gorgeous your bike now looks. Thumbs Up

Sparks! · Sir Tart-a-lot Joined: 30 Aug 2003 Karma :

Just popped down the garage to take the test...

Seat cowl
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/myr6/seatcowl.jpg

Tax disc holder
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/myr6/taxdischolder.jpg

Tank pad
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/myr6/tankpad.jpg

Valve caps
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/myr6/valvecap.jpg

Small Number plate bracket
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/r6/images/noplatebracket/finishedbracket.jpg

Screen
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/r6/images/modsicons/doublebubble.jpg

Not to mention the neccessary visor for ultimate tartiness
https://homepage.ntlworld.com/yamswheelyr1/myr6/visor.jpg
I think R6Stu is the biggest Tart though. lol
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Current Toys: 06 Yamaha WR250F | Nissan 350Z GT | Tech 4 Homes

Bendy · Mrs Sensible Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Karma :

You lose points on your helmet not being blue and white.

A real tart would have a blue and white lid and blue and white yamaha leathers.

A good start though. Thumbs Up

Sparks! · Sir Tart-a-lot Joined: 30 Aug 2003 Karma :

I must add, my OGK helmet is actually RED, not pink as pictured Laughing

Latest tarty additions include a carbon micron oval can (until I get me Blue Flame Razz

)
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Current Toys: 06 Yamaha WR250F | Nissan 350Z GT | Tech 4 Homes

swaffs · World Chat Champion Joined: 18 Mar 2004 Karma :

Good stuff,

I think that the R6 has to be tart's choice.

ZaphodBeeble · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Feb 2004 Karma :

'Tis good stuff indeed. Although I think it should be in the Funny Stuff section. Thumbs Up

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Current bike: VTR1000F Firestorm. Previous: Firestorm (written off) - XJ600 Divvy - NSR125 - DT125 and a load of offroaders.

G · The Voice of Reason Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

It's easily tarted.

Now where did I put that screen trim? Mr. Green