English v German

[fiveus]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

[Chalky.]

Sehr gut.

[MarkJ]

The voice I read that in turned more and more German as I read that, until the last line was a full-on Hitler shout.

YOUR PAPERS ARE NOT IN ORDER

[DanceLikeAMon...]

Is this your first day on the internet? It can't be far off 15 years ago that I first read that!

[fiveus]

[Poseidon]

[DanceLikeAMon...]

[el_oso]

something that i haven't heard in a while
____________________
Duke 390
Previous: '05 XR125L | '96 XJ600S Diversion |'05 Suzuki GSXR1000 | '05 Honda CBR125-R | '97 YZF 600R Thundercat | '11 Honda CBR250
Car: Jeep Wrangler 4.0L

[pepperami]

I must live in a VERY quiet back-water, cos that`s the first time i`ve seen that !

Quite funny
____________________
I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[bazza]

[brooky]

I haven't seen that before and thought it was great, all the time I was reading it I was imagining Hans Gruber's (Alan Rickman) voice !!
____________________
Suzuki GSX-R 750 K6.

[Luke_Retrofly]

I havnt read that before and I'm an old hand at these internets
____________________
Flounced - Long overdue
Fuck you bitch I'm in the top 10 list I can do the what the fuck I want!

[hellkat]

Man, that Mexican thing is Über annoying.

Should be registered with the United Nations as a weapon of mass destruction amongst epileptics.

Ow, my eyes ... LOL
____________________
Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[fiveus]