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All you will ever need to know about motorcycling...

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mr.z
World Chat Champion



Joined: 04 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 23:52 - 21 Aug 2004    Post subject: All you will ever need to know about motorcycling... Reply with quote
circa 1962 Honda Cub Riders Manual....

Quote:

The attached instructions are apparently from a 1962 Honda Cub riders' manual.

1. At the rise of the hand by Policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him by or otherwise disrespect him.

2. When a passenger of the foot hooves in sight, tootle the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigour and express by word of mouth, warning, "Hi, Hi !"

3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.

4. Give big space to the festive dog that makes sport in the roadway. Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.

5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon. Press the foot brake as you roll around the corners, and save the collapse and tie up.



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Last edited by mr.z on 00:08 - 22 Aug 2004; edited 1 time in total
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 23:55 - 21 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Thumbs Up Laughing
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Craggles
Traffic Copper



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 23:57 - 21 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Avoid entanglement of dog with wheel spokes.


Classic Laughing Thumbs Up Thumbs Up
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iCraig
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Joined: 04 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: 23:58 - 21 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quality! Laughing
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stinkwheel
Bovine Proctologist



Joined: 12 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 00:04 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Re: All you will ever need to know about motorcycleing... Reply with quote
zero wrote:
All you will ever need to know about motorcycleing...


except how to spell it?

(title sneakily edited at midnight, but the quote is the original Wink )
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Last edited by stinkwheel on 02:46 - 23 Aug 2004; edited 2 times in total
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 00:07 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Re: All you will ever need to know about motorcycleing... Reply with quote
Quote:

2. When a passenger of the foot hooves in sight, tootle the horn trumpet melodiously at first. If he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigour and express by word of mouth, warning, "Hi, Hi !"
Ooh, I have to tootle my horn trumpet do I? Laughing

Quote:
5. Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon. Press the foot brake as you roll around the corners, and save the collapse and tie up.


I want to meet this Skid Demon character, sounds like a member of BCF! Laughing
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British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
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mr.z
World Chat Champion



Joined: 04 Feb 2004
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PostPosted: 00:13 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Re: All you will ever need to know about motorcycleing... Reply with quote
stinkywheely wrote:

except how to spell it?


bah i would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for my apparent lack of spelling ability.

Theres some mad engrish on my old bikes tank...

ah yes, www.engrish.com worth looking at Thumbs Up
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Mnementh
Renault 5 Driver



Joined: 16 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: 00:17 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
I understood that perfectly Wink
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Ste
Not Work Safe



Joined: 01 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: 00:18 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Laughing Shame they don't write manuals for cars or bikes like that anymore as people would actually read them if they were. Smile
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mchaggis
World Chat Champion



Joined: 09 May 2004
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PostPosted: 00:21 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Like the Hongdou I've got, apparently it's a 125 Exqusite, or so it says on the tank. The ownership manual I've got with that isn't nearly so dire as that, but it's pretty hopeless, lacking all kinds of things like what tyre pressures to use... Rolling Eyes Chinese written English is usually pretty hopeless, infinitely better than my Chinese, but dreadful nonetheless.
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Liono
Spanner Monkey



Joined: 22 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: 01:08 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
I don't reckon it is from a Cub manual, although its origins seem a bit difficult to track. Searching for different sentences of the wording yields some interesting results in Google though - the tootle melodiously bit tends to get attributed to a Tokyo car rental firm leaflet. It seems that some of it was a 'found poem', in that the words from a 1930's leaflet were put into stanzas to create a poem - https://www.epicureaders.com/poems_apr2004.html (Scroll to the Beware the Festive Dog section). Things like this fascinate me, the way information like this passes around the web, mutates and is attributed to all sorts of different people.
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Claud 14.7 to 1
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 May 2004
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PostPosted: 08:54 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Re: All you will ever need to know about motorcycling... Reply with quote
Quote:

If he still obstacles your passage tootle him with vigour and express by word of mouth, warning, "Hi, Hi !"




Lol "Hi Hi" Laughing


Quote:
3. Beware of the wandering horse that he shall not take fright as you pass him. Do not explode the exhaust box at him. Go soothingly by.


Hmm i wonder how do i explode my exhaust box? Sounds like a great saftey feature built into some of those early bikes. Laughing


Is it for real? Where did you find it? Very Happy
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PikeyNSR
Nova Slayer



Joined: 23 Feb 2003
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PostPosted: 10:36 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
My NSR Owners manual, specified that I must use 'Lubrification'! Shocked

Some quality english there! Made me laugh! Laughing

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TheShaggyDA
Repost Police



Joined: 14 Jun 2004
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PostPosted: 12:14 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Re: All you will ever need to know about motorcycling... Reply with quote
Claud 14.7 to 1 wrote:

Hmm i wonder how do i explode my exhaust box? Sounds like a great saftey feature built into some of those early bikes. Laughing


Whilst under way :-
1. Hit ignition kill switch off
2. Open throttle fully
3. Return throttle to where it was
4. Hit ignition kill switch on

If bike is normally aspirated, you should explode your exhaust box Smile
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[i:6e3bfc7581]But still I fear and still I dare not laugh at the madman...[/i:6e3bfc7581]
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Claud 14.7 to 1
World Chat Champion



Joined: 06 May 2004
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PostPosted: 14:31 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Lol, yeah! Laughing
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Kickstart
The Oracle



Joined: 04 Feb 2002
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PostPosted: 14:35 - 22 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Hi

The manual for my RS125 states that on the version fitted with a catalytic converter you must only use "unloaded petrol".

All the best

Keith
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PsychoHippy
Jammy Git



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
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PostPosted: 02:40 - 23 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Kickstart wrote:
Hi

The manual for my RS125 states that on the version fitted with a catalytic converter you must only use "unloaded petrol".

All the best

Keith

I wonder where one can find this strange fuel. Confused
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fuzz
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Joined: 24 Mar 2004
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PostPosted: 14:55 - 23 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
Quote:
Go soothingly on the grease mud, as there lurks the skid demon


Sounds like a good custom title to me;

fuzz
skid demon

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carvell
Scuttler



Joined: 05 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 15:57 - 23 Aug 2004    Post subject: Reply with quote
The manual for my old Hyosung was pretty much like that.

Had phrases such as "front stop brake is disc - do not pressurise hard in case of fall down".
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