Share your thoughts on enforced socialising with colleagues

[colin1]

The place I work at, the boss is a bit of a caveman at times, and has been known to blame people for things that aren't their fault particularly if this means a fuck up is no longer his fault. A colleague who worked very hard and was pretty good at her job left because of him making her life hell.
He seems to think that being cheerful at work is in my job description, as the cheery brown nosers manage it.
He knows he can be a bit of an ogre at times when he's under pressure, but we had a record day of deals closed recently so he's arranging a works night out for next tuesday.
There is class I do every Tuesday, which involves a bit of socialising, which I look forward to through the week. I missed last weeks, because my brown noser colleague wanted to see her niece in a play so she took the early shift. Now thats fair enough as I got to hear how great it was.
However, this time, even though I'm on a late shift, I'm gonna go to my class even if it means I'm a bit late. Now it may be I'm not invited on this thing, as it may just be the boss and the brown nosers, as no one has actually invited me directly, but it may be that they might try to rope me into it.
From my point of view, if I were to go, it would be like the less pleasant bits of work ie being around my boss, without actually being paid even if I do get free food.
The problem is, the boss is trying to be nice, and I should encourage, him and he is a bit sensitive, so if he does ask me, me not going may be like a slap in the face.
I'll try to be nice and say I already have plans because I do, but if I'm asked, it's gonna be awkward. Really to safeguard my job, I should go. Bosses prefer 'team players' who kiss ass to arrogant little mavericks who rock the boat with things like reality checks, so he would be happy to replace me in a second and kid himself that his new 'team player' will be just as good in time once I train them up.

I probably wouldnt mind, if I hadnt missed my class last week, and I do like free food but as it is, I would be pretty shit at looking cheery and grateful.

I know someone else who is a teacher in a church school who is expected not go to her gym class once a month to go to church. She grumbles, but knows it's not worth the trouble insisting that she shouldn't be forced to go to church.

I have a history, of making unguarded comments at works doos, that later get me in trouble, so the less opportunity I have to put my foot in my mouth the better.

So you lot, share your thoughts on enforced socialising with colleagues
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[Clanger]

I couldn't answer your poll, Colin1...but I will say I do not feel the need to socialise with work colleagues. In the past when asked, I would simply say 'I'm busy that night'...

I have however, made friends with some people through work, and will happily meet up with them outside of work for non-work related events. I have formed many friendships this way.
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[J4mes]

Do you "like" or get on with anybody that you work with? Is there anyone or a small group perhaps who feel the same as you?

what sort of numbers are you talking about? 5? 7? 20?

Trying to work out if you could actually turn it in to a reasonable night, where a few of you who feel the same get together and generally fuck about.

If not, and it is just you in a small group of arse lickers then I would probably go, look happy, chew the fat about work and mingle. If you are looking to stay at that employer, then I'd tow the line. Sure it's not what you want, but getting "moved on" probably isn't what you want either

I don't socialise out of work with colleagues, I don't add them on facebook or any shit like that either. Sure I have mates at work, but not that I'd knock about with outside of work.

[iooi]

We have both team and dept do's.

Team meals I will go to as its the people I see most and get along with, but even so if I have something else planned, then that comes 1st..... We have to pay for the food as well..... So if its something I don't like, I won't go. Although same applies if I'm not paying.

Work is between start time and finish time. If they expect me to attend any works do then it has to be planned in works time. Other than that as and when I feel free to go.

Like many others while I get along well with the people at work, there are only a few I would meet out of work for a drink etc. But never do as distance is a issue.

Dept do's.... Not a chance. I'm always busy
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[Nufkamp]

Having spent 8 hours with them I'd prefer not to spend another 4 with them all talking shop.
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[Rogerborg]

Yup, I prefer not to socialise with workies, even the ones that I like. The end of the work day is when I stop talking and thinking about work, end of.

I'm off on a work trip for 2 weeks in August, and the thought of having to socialise with a group of sales and support wide boys who treat every trip as an expenses paid piss-up-and-pull-bar-slags junket is giving me the dry heaves.
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[colin1]

[TUG]

I think you'll find spending time to get to know the people you work with beneficial to you all.

I used to think that people i worked with where unbearable cunts till i saw them outside of office hours.

Work - Paid to work not fuck around, unless in the sex trade...
Pleasure - Have fun be yourself blah blah.
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[jay12329]

Out of 4 whole company meeting/socials in my curent job I've managed to avoid all but one of them. I only went to that one as it was during the week so I would have been stuck in the office for 2days covering people who were at the meeting rarther than just the one day everyone else had to do.
The other 3 have been whole weekend events. And I've made excuses early and made it clear I wouldn't go. I've missed a mediocre meal and watching the idiots getting pissed and copping off with the admin girls.
I actually get one with some people and have met them socially but hate forced events like this everyone is even more fake than when in the office!

J

[st3v3]

I attend most work functions, not because of the food or drink (drunk antics are a funny bonus later) I go because i get on with the team at work, i'm not sure half my team think too great of me but with the other half we often go after work for food/drink/snooker or whatever. Same with old jobs, I still keep intouch with a lot of old colleagues; some are still best freinds now that iv known 5/6 years and this most likely wouldn't have been the case had I hid away from them all.

In your case colin, a personally preferred event would get priority but meh, if you can attend with some people you get on with do it - might just make work easier.
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[G]

Seems I'm fairly lucky in that I've always got on with my managers as well as most of the rest of the team I've worked with at least.
Oh and I never turn down free food .

In both my previous two positions I've been out on evenings out with some of the team socially outside work-organised events.

[dogbot]

Enforced? Lulz.

Or what?

My work life and home life are kept well separate, thanks.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

I don't really swing in those kinda circles.

When i do get the opportunity for a freebie i might go depending on my male menstrual cycle.
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[DrDonnyBrago]

I don't do nights out with colleagues, no job is worth enough to pretend to have fun with people you don't like and spend too much time with as it is.

[chris-red]

I've never really understood the whole not socializing with work people thing. Every job I have had I have always looked forward to nights out with the work colleagues chances are you spend more time with them than you family you might as well try to enjoy it.
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[Bendy]

Our work nights out are awesome. If there's one thing the music industry knows how to do well, it's running a party.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

^^^Awesome eh.

What about going to the works do..throwing pieces of bread into the soup bowl of the bosses wife...Or arriving at 10 pin bowling 3 hrs early..Announce to the bar staff you want the bar tab open.
And i poo you not..Bowl overarm..

And not get sacked...

That's Awesome.
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[colin1]

Turns out i was a bit quick to assume i was being invited. Although I'm now tempted to sulk that I'm not invited, its actually a good thing I'm not really. To be fair its a small company so i don't think there is much of a budget if any. It's still a bit of a pain though as my colleague is doing an early so she can go, which means I'm doing a late so will be late for my thing. It's been interesting hearing all your viewpoints on this type of situation though.
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[LordShaftesbu...]

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[Chalky.]

[WildGoose]

Clearly depends on the industry to work in and who your work collegues are likely to be.

I've never worked at a place where much money has been thrown around at such things, and as for socialising. Lorry drivers are all ancient down and outs who moan a lot. I get tired of it after an hour or so sat in a waiting room full of them. I think I would decline a social outing.

Not that it would ever come up. I've done christmas parties in the past, at a few different jobs, and it was mostly bearable but generally a bit depressing.
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[colin1]

Well I did sort of get an invite on the day. My boss asked the question why haven't we asked colin, or when colin could make it as if this had only just occurred to him. I mentioned that I have plans for this evening, he asked about Thursday, I do genuinely have plans for Thursday. He then said that I was trying to tell them I didnt want to go out with them. The implication being that I think I'm too good for them. There is an element of truth here, but its more due to their bad behaviour in my mind, than my bosses insecurity about not having a degree. Before this thread, he may have been right, but this thread has mellowed me a bit, and the boss went out of his way to deal with mistakes sensitively today, so going out with boss and the toadies might be ok. I said I'd be interested in the next one, knowing full well that is the first time the owner has dipped into his pocket for a works do of some sort, so it's probably the first and last time. My boss did not want to burt my apparent bubble that there would be another one.

Fortunately, just before they left, there was a pretty major blow up between my boss and a salesman, so he will be stewing over that and discussing it at great length with the toadies, so they may not have plotted against me too much.

Have to admit that I do like the taste of free food, but to some extent a free lunch is always going to cost you in another way, so I'm pretty happy that I went to my class instead.
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[thegubner]

Colin, I love reading posts from you like this, its like a grown up Adrian Mole book.

[Rogerborg]

[Chalky.]