your (serious) advice please!

[dansrockin]

Hi all, long post warning!
Im just after a little advice from more experienced riders, as im having a period of doubt in riding a bike, and im not sure what way to go.
Im 32, and ive been riding since i was 17, never had an accident, apart from a very low speed spill on a roundabout a few years back where i lost the front end on a bit of oil, no serious damage, just a bruised ankle for a few days.
Over the last week i have spent some time in an intensive care unit, visiting my girlfriends dad, who has been transferred down there after getting a serious pancreas infection following surgery. Not related to bikes at all, but after sitting in there and seeing what mine and other families of patients in there are going through, its made me think about whether or not i can keep riding my bike. I have 3 kids and my partner, plus all my other family, and i really cant stand the thought that i could put them through having to see me in one of those beds one day.
I know anything could happen and im just as likely to get seriously injured crossing the road as i am getting hurt on the bike, but by getting on the bike, i am willingly putting myself at the risk of getting hurt.
I know i am probably being stupid, and its most likely down to the shock of seeing an intensive care unit close up, and most of you will say man up, but have any of you ever been through a similar dilema before, and how did you overcome the situation?
The other night i seriously sat there in bed unable to sleep because i was so confused over it all. Should i give up riding and sell my bike, and eliminate that risk, or should i carry on doing something i enjoy, but potentially risk putting my family through hell should the worst happen?
Please answer as you see fit, im prepared to have to piss took for being a tart!
many thanks
dan

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

It's a choice you have to make for yourself.

Not a choice we can make for you.
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[dansrockin]

yeah, i just wondered if anyone here had ever had a similar dilema about riding and whether or not they overcame the worries.
i cant be the first person to doubt their riding?
cheers
dan

[Oldie]

It's a point which most of us ignore, to be honest. Those left behind, or doing the caring, are often the ones who bear the hardship.

Most accidents though, to be fair, are slow speed affairs and we've all had them. Only a very few are drastic, as with all walks of life.

However, now that it's started to bother you, hang up the gloves.

[G]

But giving up riding won't eliminate all risk in your life, not by a long way as you say. By crossing the road you too are taking a risk.
Also consider the benefits it may offer your life - relaxation, less stress sitting in traffic, etc .

Have you done any advanced riding training or similar?
If not, now might be a good time to do so.
I'd say with good well-practised such skills you can certainly lower your risk to say less than that of walking down stairs.

My dad, who I had chose to live with when my parents separated, was killed on a push bike when I was 11. A pivotal 'bad' point in my life. But I certainly don't begrudge his choice to use a form of transport he enjoyed/felt strongly about.

[Oldie]

[Hetzer]

You've faced your mortality via the ills of others and had the standard reaction. Give it a few weeks, it'll pass and fade and then you can resume business as usual.
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"There's the horizon! Ride hard, ride fast and cut down all who stand in your way!"

[pepperami]

If we all stopped doing things that had an element of danger in them we would all die of insanity and boredom.

It`s the excitement that keeps us going
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[stigg]

We are all born to die, we generally have no control over when or how! All you can do is make sure you leave good memorys behind in those that are close to you or know you untill you meet up again. We all make different choices, thats what makes us individuals and thats why most people who love us love us, if you change the things that make you who you are your no longer be who you are but someone else and not maybe the person that others have come to love.

[dansrockin]

Thanks for the advice. I love riding and can't imagine not having a bike, and I hope it is just a blip. I'm going to look at some advanced courses, any good ones in the south midlands area?

[TUG]

Carry on biking, I did after I nearly died. Biking is in my blood and I will never stop doing it until I stop breathing.

Like said, if we all stop doing things we enjoy there would be no point in living, you could die from heart attack during sex... I highly doubt you wouldn't stop shagging now would you?
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Haz ER-5, innit!

[G]

[neil.]

I am in a similar situation - 3 kids, wife, family and all. But I ride out of necessity to get to work (I also enjoy it loads) - the train would work out tripling my commuting costs which I couldn't sustain and a car wouldn't be far behind (as well as probably doubling my commuting time), and my family understands this. They also know I put a huge amount of effort into constantly trying to better my riding as much as possible to be as safe as possible (from my end anyway, as you can never fully account for what other road users will do!).

Agree fully with reading your way through Motorcycle Roadcraft - it is a bit of a dry read but the best survival guide you can get. Keep re-reading it as well from time to time!

[Macie_UK]

I would think that most people go through the same thought process at some point, I know I did and still do from time to time.

I deal with it by thinking that all these sandal wearing crystal rubbing tree squeezing hippy chicks are perhaps right and there is such a thing as fate.

Ergo, if your number is up, it's up, regardless of what you're doing, so if you gave up x, a bus would drop on your head anyway.

Oh, and I up the life insurance figure a bit....
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Current: Triumph TT600
Most Missed : TZR250 (for laughing like a loon) | MZ Baghira 660 | ZZR600E1 (for everything else)

[ZRX61]

Only time I had thoughts like that was after seeing Wayne Raineys spinal xrays..
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[parkmoy]

Firstly, I don't think you need to 'man up'. You've done that already by questioning your biking risks and showing consideration for your nearest and dearest.

As has already been said, no-one can make the decision for you but you are exploring the sensible alternative of further/advanced training and that may well be the way to go.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure your family will appreciate the fact that you have thought about your lifestyle and made a considered decision with them in mind.

[Suntan Sid]

Ultimately it's a decision only you can make.

However, if you have been riding, regularly, for fifteen years, without any serious accidents, then, IMO, you've probably got the right skills to avoid anything too serious, in the future, (barring freak events).

If you think that your riding style is a cause for concern, then moderate it a bit, try not to put yourself in totally unpredictable situations, minimize the risk!

You don't say whether you ride because you have to, you ride for pleasure, or both. If the pleasure aspect is a big part of it for you, how are you going to fill the void, if you pack it in?

If you're seriously worried about riding on the road there's always track days, or off-road.

I suppose that most of us try not to think about the consequences of a serious accident, if we did, we'd pack it in today. I would also say, for most of us, the element of danger is part of the enjoyment.

In the UK ,roughly, seven people per day die on the roads, the vast majority of them are not riding bikes! All road users have accepted the fact that seven deaths per day is a reasonable level, if you haven't accepted that fact then you shouldn't be on the road.

You only have one go at life, it's your job to make the most of it, whatever path you choose!
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[Darylw27]

I had a friend who went through a similar dilemma.

23 Years young just recently married and had a little boy. His wife was constantly at him saying how he will be killed on the bike and other non-sense. To cut a long story short, he thought it best to get a car as he didn't want to be in any serious accident leaving his wife widowed and his boy without a dad. So after selling his bike and buying a car so he didn't have to share his wifes about 3 weeks later was involved in a fatal accident when a drunk driver swerved into his lane hitting him head on killing him.

The worst part is if he was on his bike looked like he could have squeezed out and escaped, but not the case in the car.

Moral of the story, use whatever the hell you want at the end of the day it won't change much

[Cunnington]

I cant comment on your circumstances, only relay my experience.

I've got two young kids, the elder is three and a half and the younger now eleven months old. At some stage between the two, I had a similar wobble after I'd been out for a blast and had taken my Z1000 to the fastest speed I ever reached on it. I'd put its components under the biggest stress since I'd got it, and what would happen if something gave up at that speed? What would that mean to my wee girl and unborn son?

I justified selling the Zed to myself as releasing the capital tied up in the bike to improve the house, but I got myself a project bike to keep my hand in.

On reflection, I knew that I couldn't trust myself to stay within my abilities on that bike - I'd always be tempted to push it that little bit further. I still need a bike to be able to get out and clear my head, but I'm far more comfortable with the limits of the Revere, which I suppose is my way of limiting my exposure to risk.

I don't believe our destiny is mapped out, but that we have decisions to make. Fate may have something else planned, but I've more chance of not ending up in intensive care at the limits of a Revere as opposed to the limits of a Z1000.
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'82 C50, '81 CB100, '84 GS125, '95 NTV650, '00 Bandit 600, '06 SV650, '56 Z1000, '89 NTV600
The Shaggy D.A. wrote: "You are invisible. Those who can see you are trying to kill you."

[Old Git Racing]

[keggyhander]

My 69 year old dad has just got over bowel and lymph cancer.

And now, after a forty year break, he's a biker again.

It's your life mate, and it's for living.

[Howling TerrorOutOfOffice]

Sage vibes in this thread.

I ride a bike cos they're good for me. I could collect my daughter in a car but we prefer the bike. She also likes rockclimbing and horseriding and is quite good at both.

Choice is a bitch.
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[Rogerborg]

If you don't enjoy riding your luck, ride like a granny. If you don't enjoy riding like a granny, quit. "Seriously"? Stupid question.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[G]

[Rogerborg]

Oh, I thought we were talking about what makes you feel safe?

There's no emoticon for that, so have a unicorn. https://www.8thcivic.com/forums/images/smilies/th_emoticon-unicorn3.gif
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike