Cock socks and keeping warm

Benno · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 May 2012 Karma :

Riding back from Oxford last night, wearing both thermals and warm clothing over the top, it got really, really damn cold. My man parts started to feel as though they were burning - of cold! When I got home, little Benno was red as a beetroot and causing big Benno significant discomfort/pain.

So I was wondering if anyone has ever tried putting a nice thick sock over their cock to keep it warm and secure their genetic future? I don't want to be the only one that does this. Come on, you can admit it here, and any other strange things you do while we're at it.
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Matt B · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 May 2012 Karma :

Here, you need one of these:

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/the-jewel-warmer

Don't suffer from it myself but when it's cold I use the Ninja. Sitting behind the fairing and being more scrunched up seems to keep them protected.

Are you riding a naked bike? EDIT - no, looks like you ride a GPZ?
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Supermoto_Fan · World Chat Champion Joined: 10 Jun 2012 Karma :

Just worry when your balls stick to the icy tank
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pinkyfloyd · Super Spammer Joined: 20 Jul 2010 Karma :

https://www.find-me-a-gift.co.uk/images/product_images/oob100_knitted_willy_warmer_648blue.jpg

Knitting patters are online if Mrs Benno or Mother Benno can knit. Laughing

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sickpup · Old Timer Joined: 21 Apr 2004 Karma :

Fit a gel tank pad to insulate yourself from the cold fuel tank and keep your cock in your trousers when riding.

HTH Thumbs Up

Benno · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 May 2012 Karma :

Sable · World Chat Champion Joined: 27 Jul 2012 Karma :

M&S Merino thermal trousers and silk boxers do the treat. Thumbs Up

sgtcalle · Spanner Monkey Joined: 07 Sep 2011 Karma :

get one of them gel pad things you bang in the microwave. think theyre designed to keep hands warm...but its the same principle right?
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Speed · Could Be A Chat Bot Joined: 19 Jul 2006 Karma :

Thankfully the tank acts as a windbreak for me and my knackers remain warm-ish but you could use...

https://www.chemist2go.co.uk/i/products/deep_heat.jpg

Laughing

trevor saxe-coburg-gotha · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Nov 2012 Karma :

Or:

https://www.devonfresh.com/images/fruit_and_veg/chilli-red.jpg

Dice one, then go for a slash. That should warm little Benno up a bit. Mr. Green

But seriously folks - my current thinking is that it's not so much "under" layers as OVER layers. By which I mean, the whole thing of base layers is bunk. Yes, it helps. But nowhere near as much as e.g. an extra coat or jacket - or e.g. an XXXL pair of trousers.

I've tried a few things, cos I go for rides late at night - or have been doing up until this snow. And what I found was that I could pile on base layer type crap and it did nowhere near as much good as if I just wore normal stuff but then put a massive coat, and a massive pair of waterproofs on.

The reason why this works is simple to suss out. Base layers are close to the skin. And insulation works by having pockets of air. The problem with a base layer approach is that it compresses everything down, underneath your normal clothing. So by the time you trog out there, there's no room for any air to insulate you.

Whereas with big baggy outer layers there's TONS of air, air that's been warmed from within and which then stays where it is.

So like, I put an armoured jacket on - but then over that I've been wearing this vast XXXL hi-viz fukka. Which incidentally is lined. Now yeah sure I look like a waste disposal michelin man. Okay - point taken. But you don't NEED for it to be orange. eBay is littered with big, lined BLACK or NAVY waterproof coats available in XXXXL, XXXXXl, or even XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL. Mine was only £20.

Next I went to TK Max and got these awesome salopette efforts - fully lined, in XXXL, and only £20. Wear these over some normal, lined Karrimor combats and you honestly don't feel a breath of cold.

So in conclusion, class - base-layers = bunk. Big baggy out layers FTW.

At least that's my current thinking. True, your wind resistance increases vastly, thus halving your max speed, and bringing your mpg right down. But hey - you're warm. Warm was never free!
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thx1138 · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 Oct 2005 Karma :

I wear daymart thermal leggings, football socks, red route jeans, second hand army boots, with goretex hiking gators, thermal base layer top, made of man made fibres, merino wollen jumper from charity shop, and a wax cotton jacket, and a balaclava. I also reduce my top speed a bit, to cut the windchill down a smidge.

Don't seem to get too cold.

Mind you once, a few years ago, I didn't think I was cold pulled into motorway services, bought a coffee and started shaking and shivering so much I was spilling it all over the place.

trevor saxe-coburg-gotha · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Nov 2012 Karma :

No more opiates for you!! Mr. Green

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Dave-the-rave · Scooby Slapper Joined: 19 Oct 2012 Karma :

There's a big difference between riding a naked bike and riding a bike naked. Laughing

I confess to being amused by the OP. A cold cock isn't something I've ever experienced on a bike or in any other cold situation I've ever experienced so I can't relate to the dilemma personally.

Trying hard to empathise the best I can come up with is...

https://www.heatpacksuk.co.uk/heat-packs/uniheat-mini-heat-packs.php

These are described as mini packs but don't take that personally. Perhaps they also supply bigger ones for ''the larger man''.

Laughing

Dave-the-rave · Scooby Slapper Joined: 19 Oct 2012 Karma :

Walloper · Super Spammer Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Karma :

It's got to do with physics.
A large mass will lose heat (as energy) much slower than a small mass.
Due to it's large surface area to mass ratio.

I don't suffer from this 'cooling effect' having such an unfeasibly large whoppah in my troos.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha · World Chat Champion Joined: 22 Nov 2012 Karma :

Matt B · World Chat Champion Joined: 01 May 2012 Karma :

Benno · World Chat Champion Joined: 06 May 2012 Karma :

Thing about base layers is more than one is pointless, as you said. One base layer, normal clothes, and then whatever other stuff you can pile on top with waterproofs on top of it all to stop wind penetration.
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Walloper · Super Spammer Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Karma :

Walloper · Super Spammer Joined: 24 Feb 2005 Karma :

Vracktal · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Oct 2012 Karma :

I keep my nob warm by wearing hipsters (the underwear type) and then tucking it into the waistband so my belly heat keeps it thawed. Works fine as long as you have a few decent layers on top!
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