Tesco Nazis Again...

[Jayy]

What a fucking bizarre encounter that was.

Pulled on to the pavement bit at the front far right corner, as I do at the one I usually go 20 miles the other way but I was getting a tyre fitted on the bike so thought I'd pop in for some smokes / drink.

Immediately this woman comes out, "YOU CAN'T PARK THERE", I asked her, "Why not?", she replies, "You will get a £130 ticket from the guy who owns this car park".

"Who's the guy who owns the car park?", to which she replies, "His name's Clive".

What the fuck? Anyway, she repeats her self saying if I don't move I will have to pay £130.

I said, "Let's go find Clive then", she looked confused like I'd just asked her the sqare root of 3,872 and said, "He runs the car park but ok then".

So far I've established Clive is some private car park attendant. She disappears to go get Clive.

I walk in, security guard says the same, "You can't park your bike there you NEED to move it". At this point, none of them had actually asked me in a reasonable manor, just demanding I do it or threats of a £130 fine.

So I turned round and walked out, stood at the front, couldn't see any bike parking bays, couldn't see the woman or Clive, so thought fuck it, counter is right next to the door just want smokes now.

Woman at the till has been instructed not to serve me, security guard pipes up, "Don't serve this lad" pointing to me like I'm a criminal.

I said to him, "You fucking jobsworth cunt, you can get to fuck I'm going anyway, in a bit". He then tells me I'm barred for life for "swearing at him" hahaha.

I jump on the bike, the woman standing there smirking, proceed to rev the bollocks off it and flick the back end about on the car park straight over to the petrol station.

Same thing, woman refuses to serve me. At this point I thought it was hilarious and fuck it, just go somewhere else. Come outside to get on the bike and the womans marched from the store to the petrol station (several hundred ft), with fucking Clive.

Clive looks like he's ready for a straightener, storms up to me, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE" He was proper steaming as well, veins popping in his head, raging.

Said to him, "Fucking hell Clive, look at the state of you, you look like you're ready for a fight, over what? Parking my fucking bike on the pavement, get to fuck mate who do you think you are more like it?". Tells me he doesn't work for Tesco, a private company... said, "Clive, fuck off now, you're embarrassing yourself over nothing, in a bit mate and you jobsworth (woman)".

TLDR... banned from that Tesco for life

Yes, I was parked on the pavement, no I didn't think it was a problem because at the one I usually go, I park in the same type of place where all the others do and nobody in 10 years had said fuck all as they don't have a bike bay.

inb4 brool story co

[CaNsA]

y u no throatpunch?

[Beehive Bedlam]

Similar happened to me at Asda other day my ban is for twelve weeks apparently but I was there this afternoon. Still parked bang outside as I always do.

Edit - I would have slapped Clives face off if he came and shouted at me.

[c_dug]

Which Tesco?

Sounds like fun!
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[Hahadumball]

Agreed! which tesco! i vote a bcf jolly lul!
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[Ste]

Google needs to know the name of the company Clive works for.

[Alex A]

You must make it your mission to establish a regular bike meet there.

[Alan1986]

Clive sounds like a prick
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Cbt Done, Currently wobbling around on a Cbf125 and love it
DAS some time soon

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

I park my bike outside my local Tesco with no issues, as to do loads of other bikes. It's mint.

Yay for balance. Also Y U NO get everyone's names and play the discrimination card. Vouchers = profit, especially if you bawww via twitter.
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[Kawasaki Jimbo]

[Jayy]

If I was that arsed about it I would have put in a complaint but not in to doing that, just wanted to vent it on here

Never had that happen to me anywhere, fucking ridiculous the way they were going on like I'd just beheaded someone in aisle 4

[Jayy]

In hindsight, I wish I had got my phone out to record Clive going Tyson Fury at me, he was harmless though, looked in his late 40's, wasn't a big bloke either.

[Wafer_Thin_Ham]

[notbike]

I'm down for a meet there if its not far. Would love to take the piss out of Mr Clive, cunt executive officer of UK's jobsworth association 2016.

Let's fuck about with Mrs tesco-thundercunt too. Spoiling to fuck up someone's day (who deserves it)

[Alan1986]

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/RYGy-j_oH5Q/maxresdefault.jpg
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Cbt Done, Currently wobbling around on a Cbf125 and love it
DAS some time soon

[nitrosurf]

Is Clive short, sporting a moustache and looking more than a bit like he was left behind when genes were being handed out? Oh, and Welsh?

Safe braaaa points for getting banned from Tossco,
Points lost for not flinging scolding hot rubber at the scum with a raging great burnout, especially if you were getting a new tyre anyway!

F##kin' A dude

[bugeye_bob]

Did you tell Clive you knew Ronnie Pickering

[stinkwheel]

I personally think you behaved like a spoiled little cunt.

What you should have done is got back on your bike and left.

In B4 your town has a shopwatch scheme and you're banned from every shop in town.
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[G]

[Jayy]

[notbike]

[Jayy]

She didn't like the fact I asked her who Clive was and let's go speak to Clive and in the most polite way as well, I'm not a cunt with people for no reason. She'd already made her mind up at that point when she disappeared looking for Clive, straight on the radio telling nobody to serve me because I hadn't obeyed her commands.

Fuck that mate, I resent the police trying to control people, never mind someone who works in Tesco.

Will also add, if that convesation went like this: "Hello, I'm afraid you shouldn't be parking on here, would you mind moving to a parking space?"

It would have ended with, "Oh sorry, no problem, will move over to one now".

[ScaredyCat]

Your mistake was not getting a trolly and filling it with frozen stuff then wheeling it around for a bit and getting to the till and being refused service.
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[Triton Thrasher]

You can't fuck about with Clive like that.

He'll come after you.
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[Nutz]

My dad got banned from Aldi because he told a 60 year old to fuck of and don't push in. He's 70.