trying not to upset MIL... childcare woes

[Rogerborg]

[ride_to_die]

[Rogerborg]

[Islander]

[Rogerborg]

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm all for other people putting their children at risk. More for mine.
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Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Tracer1234]

[Rogerborg]

We should cut the seatbelts out of cars to toughen the spoiled little brats up, etc.
____________________
Biking is 1/20th as dangerous as horse riding.
GONE: HN125-8, LF-250B, GPz 305, GPZ 500S, Burgman 400 // RIDING: F650GS (800 twin), Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 500 AVL, Ninja 250R because racebike

[Tracer1234]

[Islander]

[Islander]

[Islander]

[ocatoro]

just to reiterate, I haven't given her any shit about it.. this is a recent arrangement, for the past 3 weeks since we've moved back from far away to within 10 miles of her.

Its an observation I've made as I work 0600-1400 so I come back in the afternoon when she's out and about with the boy, and I notice the phone on the side.

On monday she'd not gone out yet, and I saw her go out the door, then come back in specifically to take her phone out of her bag and leave it here.. I asked her why she wasn't taking it and she got really aggressive about it turning itself off, but acted like I had 3 heads when I offered to go buy her a new one.

she's had him in the past and the phone thing came up hence wife asking her about it now twice. wife is GP with people skills. I work in a laboratory and only possess the tact to know I'm tactless enough to really upset the old dear when she's just trying to help.

but the fact is, she's old, and bounce or not... kids can get injured easily and I'd rather her be able to contact me in case of emergency than not. especially when the phone lives in the handbag she's carrying at all times, except that she takes it out to take my son out. that in itself is bizarre.

PS. I'm definitely 30, not 50...


also... perhaps I'd not worry if it was someone else. but she's neurotic and flappy and fills me with dread by producing industrial amounts of cortisol and blasting it all into the atmosphere. the boy can't do much without her hanging onto his arm shouting be careful at him and this leads them both into danger.

for example, the other week she took him to the park and doing her usual arm holding routine, followed him under the slide and twatted her head on the bottom support. she said she'd landed on her back and a man helped her get up, but insisted she hadn't been knocked out... what if she does knock herself out? am I really so wrong to worry?
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CBT - 17/09/12 * Theory - 23/10/12 * Mod1 - 05/03/13 * Mod2 - 25/03/13 * BOSH!
Current - None but shed project H100 (first bike )
Past - ER5, '93 ZZR600, '92 CB400 SF, ZZR600 (again), yellow Monster 620, Blackbird - black Monster 620ie - '96 ZZR600

[Tracey Suntan-King]

You're not wrong to worry, it's a fundamental part of parenting. Where you are wrong is trying to force your worries on to your MiL.

Maybe you shouldn't rely on her care to for the child so often.

As I said earlier you have two choices, to accept her behaviour, or, stop using her for childcare.

If you and Mrs Octoplet are so worried it would seem to be time to find a new, more biddable babysitter.
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Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[ocatoro]

[Tracey Suntan-King]

Yes, well there could be something else going on with her.

I was in a similar position with my MiL and my firstborn. The MiL (70ish) was adamant that she could, and wanted to provide childcare for 2 days a week. Things started off ok and there were no mishaps but I suspected she was finding it tough & tiring.

She insisted she was fine but after a few weeks she engineered a situation with me that could only have one outcome, which was me ending the arrangement.

I have no doubt that the reality was that she wanted to give up childcare duties but didn't want to admit it. The way she did things meant that she was blameless and I was the neurotic mother.


____________________
Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're probably right

[ocatoro]

could well be... but 3 weeks into a 2 day a week arrangement she forced... it's unlikely.

we'll see. going to just have to bring it up on peaceful terms and see what happens
____________________
CBT - 17/09/12 * Theory - 23/10/12 * Mod1 - 05/03/13 * Mod2 - 25/03/13 * BOSH!
Current - None but shed project H100 (first bike )
Past - ER5, '93 ZZR600, '92 CB400 SF, ZZR600 (again), yellow Monster 620, Blackbird - black Monster 620ie - '96 ZZR600

[Shaft]

[el_oso]

[M.C]

[Ribenapigeon]

Its not 1995. There's a good chance whatever calamity might befall befall granny and sprog that there will be someone near by who does have a phone. If its serious enough to warrant an emergency phone call then you or your wife wont be the first people to be called and emergency services will track you down soon enough. So just relax.

[Diggs]

Reading between the lines here, it isn't an issue of whether she has a mobile phone or not, but one of trust. Mobile phones don't prevent accidents after all.

If you have so little faith in her ability to keep your sprog safe, then as Mrs Sid says, either confront her with it and incur wrath or keep quiet in the knowledge that as your sprog gets older she will find it harder to keep up and will hopefully ask for less babysitting duties as she can't take the pace.

One practical thing you could try is offering to let her look after your sprog for a whole weekend. By Sunday night I guarantee she will be desperate to hand the little person back and the memory will scar her sufficiently to not want to babysit again for a long time...
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Now - Speed Triple, old ratty GS550, GSXR750M
Gone (in order of ownership) - Raleigh Runabout, AP50, KH125, GP125, KH250, CBX550, Z400, CB750FII, 250LC, GS550, ZXR750H1, Guzzi Targa, GSX750F, KH250 x2, Bimota SB6R and counting...

[ocatoro]

[uberkron]

I just thought the returning to leave the mobile phone is bizarre.
Given that my mil runs a cult that doesn't accept the use of mobile phones I had a giggle.

Just trespass her and get on with life.
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i ride a zip 50 2smoke. It overtakes a hundred times a day.

[andyscooter]