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Todays - What grinds my gears

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Suntan Sid
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Joined: 07 May 2009
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PostPosted: 10:12 - 21 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
When one has just finished mowing the grass with nice stripes and one's beloved decides to ride his Honda XL125RC in circles round and round the cherry tree in the middle of the lawn.

Twas funny tho!


Would have been rude not to! Mr. Green
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 10:14 - 21 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hong Kong Phooey wrote:
Polarbear wrote:
Dog sitting my daughters dog for the weekend.

1. It's terribly badly trained
2. It's a Husky. Why do people buy Huskys as pets, they really aren't suitable.
3. Wifie said, 'yes, we'll have him and promptly made arrangements to be away for the weekend leaving him with me. Evil or Very Mad
4. I can think of 101 things I rather be doing with the weather like this.


A polar bear and a husky walk into a bar.

Can't decide if this is the start of a joke or how you should start the rest of your weekend...


https://s5.postimg.cc/5xoimvws7/polar-bear-funny.jpg
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Fazer. This post is not being displayed because it has a low rating (Boring). Unhide this post / all posts.

MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 18:29 - 21 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

pepperami wrote:


The polar bear says “oww!” , it was an iron bar .


I'm not a comedy expert but which of these is funnier?

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow, who put that there?"

or

A man walks into a bar and says "Ow!" because it was an iron bar.

Wink
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 20:32 - 21 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to admit I do feel just a lil bit sorry for Gappy McGapface, though.

It is annoying when you make an effort to go and do something super-early cos it gets too busy with Joe Public later and you have Important Other Things To Do ... then suddenly all the peeps arrive right in front of you.

It's a right pain in the tits.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 20:38 - 21 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I got the English version of the Klumps as my first passengers today. Rolling Eyes

Sweet Jesus, the mother did my head in.
So I chatted with the son a little bit and left her to stew in the back.
Gave him the glad eye as he got out the car. Just to cheer him up a bit Laughing
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Hong Kong Phooey
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PostPosted: 00:21 - 22 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:


Awww - look ^ it's keeping its lunch warm for later.

A hot and grumpy hot polar bear and a husky walk into a bar, barman startled by the uncommon pairing calmy asks what they'll have to drink.

Husky replies "100 kilos of ice, fast as you can."

Barman says "That's going to take while, the ice machine is not that quick".

Polar bear snaps "Just fucking do it or I'm going to glacier."

Best I can do ( Embarassed )
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 08:57 - 22 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ Rated 'under rated' for the attempt. Rating it funny might have been pushing it a bit. Wink

Mind you, I've heard worse on telly. Laughing
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MarJay
But it's British!



Joined: 15 Sep 2003
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PostPosted: 14:57 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Powderhead wrote:
MarJay wrote:
There may or may not be a letter of resignation on the desk of someone who may or may not be the manager of someone who may or may not have written this post.


Pass the popcorn


Done this morning.
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M.C
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PostPosted: 15:36 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

BT and their spoiler free replays:

Actual spoiler Evil or Very Mad

Last week they had a pic' of Crutchlow there, and they still haven't f'ing uploaded the race yet Rolling Eyes
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Freddyfruitba...
Nearly there...



Joined: 20 May 2016
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PostPosted: 18:38 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

When you've got some roofers round at yours doing their thing, and one knocks on the door and asks if he can use your toilet, and then he traipses through your house without taking off his boots, and then takes a dump in your bathroom and you find out later he hasn't even't even flushed it?!

I mean - really?
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Fazer.
Formerly known as
Stallion.



Joined: 28 Oct 2013
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PostPosted: 19:05 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Freddyfruitbat wrote:
When you've got some roofers round at yours doing their thing, and one knocks on the door and asks if he can use your toilet, and then he traipses through your house without taking off his boots, and then takes a dump in your bathroom and you find out later he hasn't even't even flushed it?!

I mean - really?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/oAzrnBhryWNr2/giphy.gif
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waffles
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PostPosted: 20:07 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Replacing a headlight bulb is not easy on my car, you need baby hands or half a day to disassemble half of the front end. Thanks Vauxhall for making is so simple!

Good job its much lighter out now otherwise I would have to be one of those wankers driving with a car that winks at you at night.
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Current rides Suzuki GSXR 600, Honda MSX125
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Fin
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PostPosted: 20:27 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Went for a little blast but the good part of the ride didn't record, it just skipped part 2.

https://i.imgur.com/4ZoCWOK.png\


Also my rear tyre has worn out and the one I ordered a month ago hasn't arrived.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 20:40 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

waffles wrote:
Replacing a headlight bulb is not easy on my car, you need baby hands or half a day to disassemble half of the front end. Thanks Vauxhall for making is so simple!

Good job its much lighter out now otherwise I would have to be one of those wankers driving with a car that winks at you at night.


Please come and change the dipped bulb in wifies Megane cabriolet. I guarantee you will learn new swear words. Laughing
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Courier265
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PostPosted: 21:19 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

having to return to textiles because it was fucking cold today.
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waffles
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Joined: 04 Oct 2009
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PostPosted: 22:15 - 23 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
waffles wrote:
Replacing a headlight bulb is not easy on my car, you need baby hands or half a day to disassemble half of the front end. Thanks Vauxhall for making is so simple!

Good job its much lighter out now otherwise I would have to be one of those wankers driving with a car that winks at you at night.


Please come and change the dipped bulb in wifies Megane cabriolet. I guarantee you will learn new swear words. Laughing


Im not mentally strong enough for that, I would probably have to retreat to the passenger footwell and cry about my poor life choices!
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grr666
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Joined: 16 Jun 2014
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PostPosted: 09:55 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just pissed off about the Royal Mail staff and their shrug the shoulders attitude because they are protected by the
union. Ordered a parcel from the states, a long sleeve tee shirt. I knew there would be customs charges and was happy
to pay whatever levy HMRC added to the price. Yesterday I get the Royal Mail 'we can't deliver your item because there is
a charge' card. This is after next door knocked and gave it to me because those morons even managed to deliver that
to the wrong house.

My charges are as follows.

Import Duty. £0.00
Excise Duty. £0.00
VAT £3.13
(and fair enough I suppose even though the money for the actual item ended up going into the US economy. )

Royal Mail International Handling Fee £8.00

So £8 to put it on a shelf for a day then.Brick Wall No wonder they are losing business to the courier firms.
I really don't mind paying the VAT, but £8 so the obese woman in the kiosk can act like some kind of gatekeeper
to me obtaining my lawful property. I had to smoke a bunch of weed before I went down there this morning or
I'd have gone ballistic. I hate that fat cow anyway, she's been there years, unionised to the core, moves so slowly
you might assume she's crapped herself and is trying not to spread it around by walking too quickly. Last time
I had words with her, one of their delivery professionals left an anniversary gift for the wife in a puddle outside
my front door, we were away because anniversary and rather than card us and take it back to the depot.
It was dropped on the floor outside, then it rained for two days. I properly kicked off about that, got some compo
in the end, but I went down there fuming. Fatty McJabba ran away and hit and her manager came out to calm me down.

If my neighbour had thrown the card away, I'd have never even known the parcel was sitting there in the first place.
Top dollar for an incompetent, entitled, shower of shit. Good work Royal Mail. I shall redouble my efforts to seek
alternative methods when I need to ship something.
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stephen_o
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Joined: 02 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: 11:54 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Royal Mail as well! Reply with quote

A few days ago amazon informed me that they had refunded a customer from my account due to "non delivery", on checking the tracking - the item was a tracked 48 no sig large letter so able to go through any letter box (a nintendo switch game) the tracking stated "last update 10th April (6 days before) we aim to try and deliver this today". I phone business customer services at 4pm they can't see anything different so phone through the delivery office "theres only the manager their everyone else has gone and he doesn't know whats happened - we will get the item returned to you rts - you should get it monday" (I had asked for the item back as I am now out of pocket for £43.20p. Monday nothing, Today postman comes with nothing so I phone them again - "the item was delivered on 20th April to the customer" F''CKING BRILLIANT! I have to wait 48 hours for gps proof the item has been delivered and then try my luck with the customer to see if he will pay me directly or return it, failing that I have to lose it because any attempts at claims with these people are met with more hurdles than the grand national. Annoyed!
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Cbt 26/09/11 Mod 1 Pass 02/04/12 Mod 2 Pass 18/04/12 Previous Bikes 1979 Honda C50 1988-1990, 1991 Honda CG125 (2011 to 2012), 1994 Kawasaki GPZ500S (2012 to 2017), current scoot 2009 Yamaha YBR250 + Current Pootle 2013 Nissan Leaf
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stephen_o
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Joined: 02 Aug 2011
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PostPosted: 11:59 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I arrrived at my shop this morning a homeless person and their helper (always a youth on a mtb who does the running for booze etc) were trying to force entry to the rear yard of a neighbouring shop.

I have to walk past the security office so was going to knock on but as I walked toward it the security guards and pcso were going after them.

I had a few months ago written to the local Tory mp over a growing issue of rough sleepers because Stoke council is trying to disperse them from Hanley into other areas by issueing fixed penaltys and confiscation of tents etc, asking him if he was prepared to look at improving night shelter access as there is non, only a soup kitchen a couple of times a week which is attracting anti-social behaviour and got told "I support the PM's attitude toward the homeless" In less words "f@ck yourself off".
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Cbt 26/09/11 Mod 1 Pass 02/04/12 Mod 2 Pass 18/04/12 Previous Bikes 1979 Honda C50 1988-1990, 1991 Honda CG125 (2011 to 2012), 1994 Kawasaki GPZ500S (2012 to 2017), current scoot 2009 Yamaha YBR250 + Current Pootle 2013 Nissan Leaf
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MarJay
But it's British!



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PostPosted: 13:39 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

So then. Resignation day +1.

Customer complains about a unit in for repair. I chase for the 5th time. Person I chase lies over email and says he told me we are still waiting for parts, when in fact he told me the repair was happening last week. Turns out we are waiting for parts, but I as a fool believed what I was told and told the customer that the repair was underway. Customer then tries to escalate to our contracts admin and the product manager. The contracts admin replies giving him my name and email address and saying that I'm in charge of their support. Customer then thanks contracts admin for completing the circle.

You simply can't make it up. And No, I don't currently have a job to go to, and I think I'm OK with it.
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Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 14:16 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^ETA for my vibrating butt plug please?
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MarJay
But it's British!



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PostPosted: 14:39 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
^^^ETA for my vibrating butt plug please?


I probably best not say what the repair is for lest I get identified on the innarnetts... It's technical hardware related to video. Very dry stuff.
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Hong Kong Phooey
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PostPosted: 16:27 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
^^^ETA for my vibrating butt plug please?


In for conversion from mains electric to diesel?
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 16:32 - 24 Apr 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hong Kong Phooey wrote:
Howling Terror wrote:
^^^ETA for my vibrating butt plug please?


In for conversion from mains electric to diesel?


No, he asked for 2 stroke, ring a ding dinggggggg
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