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Am I the bad guy here??? - update suicide attempt

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hellkat
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PostPosted: 00:48 - 19 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yo, Asharin.
How you getting on, man?
Hope things are panning out a bit better for you now.
(probably not)

Take it easy, babe. Don't let the madness get to you.
Hope you manage to hold onto your kid and elbow the mother, before you REALLY get in the quicksand and can't get out again.

*mwah*
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 21:21 - 22 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Yo, Asharin.
How you getting on, man?
Hope things are panning out a bit better for you now.
(probably not)

Take it easy, babe. Don't let the madness get to you.
Hope you manage to hold onto your kid and elbow the mother, before you REALLY get in the quicksand and can't get out again.

*mwah*


Uhh slightly better. They let her out of the mental health unit last week, seems more stable on whatever meds she's on, though not 100%
Read up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder after some of the posts here, and looking back on her various actions over the past couple of years, and recently...I'd say it's a good bet she suffers from it.
Baby girl is still with me, though getting supervised visits with her mum for now, moving to unsupervised soon (that's when we'll see if she's stable or not I guess...if she refuses to bring her back..)
She's being less annoying at the moment, perhaps she realises that on my say so she could lose contact with our daughter for good, unless she took it to court.

Still feeling a little stressed, but I'm a big boy, I can handle my shit (just)
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MCN
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PostPosted: 03:16 - 23 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asharin wrote:
hellkat wrote:
Yo, Asharin.
How you getting on, man?
Hope things are panning out a bit better for you now.
(probably not)

Take it easy, babe. Don't let the madness get to you.
Hope you manage to hold onto your kid and elbow the mother, before you REALLY get in the quicksand and can't get out again.

*mwah*


Uhh slightly better. They let her out of the mental health unit last week, seems more stable on whatever meds she's on, though not 100%
Read up on Narcissistic Personality Disorder after some of the posts here, and looking back on her various actions over the past couple of years, and recently...I'd say it's a good bet she suffers from it.
Baby girl is still with me, though getting supervised visits with her mum for now, moving to unsupervised soon (that's when we'll see if she's stable or not I guess...if she refuses to bring her back..)
She's being less annoying at the moment, perhaps she realises that on my say so she could lose contact with our daughter for good, unless she took it to court.

Still feeling a little stressed, but I'm a big boy, I can handle my shit (just)


NPD can be due to learned behaviour or a coping mechanism.
No excuse but it is the way some folk are wired.
Some mental disorder is chemical, some from injury and some even from side-effects of other medical illness.

The big deal is that it is not always easy to diagnose and treat.

Not recognising the problem is why folk do not seek help. They see themselves as OK and it's all the other people who are wrong.

Mental health is mental. Sad

Good luck OP.
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mudcow007
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PostPosted: 11:59 - 23 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does this mean you ex is now single, asking for a friend.....

on a serious note, good luck with it all, sounds a nightmare
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 12:16 - 23 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good luck with it all.

At the risk of sounding a bit crass, rather you than me mate, I have enough trouble understanding 'normal' women.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 20:49 - 27 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

She doesn't come from Cornwall, your ex, does she?

Shifty
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 00:33 - 30 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
She doesn't come from Cornwall, your ex, does she?

Shifty

No..Staines lol

Oh well, time to sign up on POF?
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arry
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PostPosted: 06:15 - 30 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Polarbear wrote:
'normal' women.


Tempted to rate Confusing; went with Funny.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 09:37 - 30 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asharin wrote:
Oh well, time to sign up on POF?

Shocked
So you've decided to stick with complete and utter nutjobs then.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 14:53 - 30 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Asharin wrote:
Oh well, time to sign up on POF?

Shocked
So you've decided to stick with complete and utter nutjobs then.


hellkat, subtle as a hippo with a hard on Laughing
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 23:16 - 30 Aug 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

hellkat wrote:
Asharin wrote:
Oh well, time to sign up on POF?

Shocked
So you've decided to stick with complete and utter nutjobs then.


Well I did add a question mark lol Very Happy
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Ribenapigeon
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PostPosted: 13:50 - 01 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is there actually a diagnosis of NPD? Be careful of applying a diagnosis leave that to the clinical services.

Keep a close eye on social services as well. Get in there and make sure they know you and your input is requested and taken notice of. SWrk are notoriously slipshod and generally work to make life easier for themselves. Never assume they've done something always check for yourself. In fact I would recommend that you get some advice from a legal brief who specialises in children and family law.
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Fourte
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PostPosted: 10:18 - 02 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

New to the forum and so late landing on this thread.
Some of my words could well hurt and I do apologise. I can, however, claim to be the worlds biggest sha**er of crazies* and can offer some wise advice.

* I have poor decision making skills when it comes to partners that's all.

Hate to say this but have you done a paternity test for the baby? You definitely the dad? I ask because this has happened twice to me. Even writing this I can feel my breakfast rising in my stomach.
If you can afford it I'd get a test done. Obviously things will fall to pieces if you're not the father but it could also give you a way out.

If the woman is even slightly intelligent then she'll know that what she took won't kill her. Personally I don't even see it as a cry for help - it's definitely to control you through whatever means possible. She's throwing a whole bunch of stuff at you and just one is difficult to handle. Like I've said - been through a heap of the stuff.

Unfortunately even in modern times the 'system' is geared against men. You have a huge amount of sh*t to deal with never mind your usual family life.
Make a note of everything. Type it, save it then print it twice and store those records very separately. If in the future she becomes sane and things are good and she's back in your life and finds one set then you can guarantee she will destroy it or take it (happened to me).
DO NOT TRUST HER EVER. I mean it. She has proven unstable and unsafe.

People lie and sometimes manage to get children into their care again. Sure we know it's nuts but remember she has already shown her true colours here. You need to expect and prepare for it happening. Could well be that best you can manage to add to her caring for the baby is conditions set by a family court but you need to make a note of those conditions and NOW.

Her story before she came to you. Her life story and every single sentence she said - delete it. Someone in an earlier comment said it - try to stand back from the emotional grapple it has you by and see things for how they are. It's how your friends see things and isn't a bad thing to do. If you have the strength to do it then you must. It might require you to separate yourself from a common place (your house) but it can be done.

Arm yourself with evidence and as much as possible. Make a note of not just life with her but before she entered your life. You'll see exactly how disruptive she has been (though you know it too).
Tell friends or contacts that they must not treat her as being your partner or friend - there's nothing worse than a leaking source! Try your best to tell friends who 'don't want to fall out with anyone' that they must keep shut. You might actually need to let go of people like that because you cannot afford a leak of information. Even the simplest of information (day out with kids) could be bad.

You mention her ex banging on house doors. Is even that part of her story true? Please - be sneaky and investigate for yourself. It might actually be that she has previous history of doing this with ex partners other than yourself. Those exes of hers could turn out to be valuable witnesses in the future.

Again, I apologise for some harsh words. I just want you and the children safe.
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 20:54 - 24 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Right so, figured it was time for an update in the continuing train wreck that is my life...

So anyway, things had settled down a bit, The ex got her own place and was having supervised visits with our daughter. Things went well and social services were happy to move on to unsupervised visits, and we had a 3 month transition plan on daughter going back to her mother (the ex) but under supervision from social services. The last day of the first week, she had our daughter on the friday and was supposed to return her at 6pm but refused to saying that the baby belonged with her.
I called social services, they went out, and decided that while the ex had gone against the plan, that our daughter was safe and they'd keep a close eye on her and make sure I got contact. Which, to be fair to the ex, narcissistic bitch that she is, she hasn't stopped that and I have had regular contact.
Social services still monitoring the situation, and while we've had a few arguments over trivial shit, it's not been too bad...so for now that's kinda settled.
Just me and my 12yr old son now, and occasionally daughter when I have her over to stay so feeling much more settled.

I did sign up on POF, had a couple dates, deleted profile...toooooo much crazy there, and I'm not sticking my dick in crazy again.
Friend suggested 'Bumble' app, signed up, got talking to a woman who incidentally had also just signed up...been dating two weeks now, and all seems good so far..no sign of crazy even if she is only 4ft11 (no 'small woman syndrome' I mean there Razz)
Of course, not letting the ex know yet, she may find some way to make out that me having a new girlfriend is harmful to the baby...not that the new GF will be meeting any of the kids anytime soon anyway!

Also, due to not driving, I had a need to be able to fit more shopping on a bike (I don't drive), my tail bag and tank bag weren't cutting it, so as of Thursday I'll be riding a Honda Dullville 700..Oh well.
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kerr
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PostPosted: 22:39 - 24 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asharin wrote:

I called social services, they went out, and decided that while the ex had gone against the plan, that our daughter was safe and they'd keep a close eye on her and make sure I got contact.

.

That really does boil my piss, if that was the other way round etc.
Just how can they let her just have the child when your the proven stable parent.
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 23:20 - 24 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

kerr wrote:
Asharin wrote:

I called social services, they went out, and decided that while the ex had gone against the plan, that our daughter was safe and they'd keep a close eye on her and make sure I got contact.

.

That really does boil my piss, if that was the other way round etc.
Just how can they let her just have the child when your the proven stable parent.

I know :/ However she only has to fuck up once and it becomes a cpo not just a care and support...and then they would take daughter from her.
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AshWebster
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PostPosted: 11:50 - 25 Sep 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

4ft 11.. i love short girls (Y)
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Jewlio Rides Again LLB
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PostPosted: 19:25 - 05 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

kerr wrote:
Asharin wrote:

I called social services, they went out, and decided that while the ex had gone against the plan, that our daughter was safe and they'd keep a close eye on her and make sure I got contact.

.

That really does boil my piss, if that was the other way round etc.
Just how can they let her just have the child when your the proven stable parent.


They wouldn't do anything if it was the other way round. As long as there's no risk to the child, it's a matter for the family courts.
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 14:02 - 11 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jewlio Rides Again LLB wrote:
kerr wrote:

That really does boil my piss, if that was the other way round etc.
Just how can they let her just have the child when your the proven stable parent.


They wouldn't do anything if it was the other way round. As long as there's no risk to the child, it's a matter for the family courts.

Correct, my 12yr old lives with me, because Social services removed him from his mum due to neglect, they even took her to court to make it permanent until he's 18, so it worked in my favour that time.

In this case, things are going okay now and I'm getting regular contact, daughter is happy and healthy so happy for things to remain as they are for now, but if I see any signs of neglect or abuse I'll take her to court for custody...and she knows this..probably why she's being pleasant lately..
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Bubbs
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PostPosted: 16:13 - 11 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fuck...

Mate, that's a shit situation.

Hope it all works out brilliantly and her meds sort her out. I've seen post natal depression in a few of my friends wives and it's absolutely bonkers!! It kind of fits the MO a bit.

If I was you i'd be wanting to book a 3 week all inclusive somewhere to let the steam out!!
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Asharin
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PostPosted: 23:30 - 13 Oct 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bubbs wrote:
Fuck...

Mate, that's a shit situation.

Hope it all works out brilliantly and her meds sort her out. I've seen post natal depression in a few of my friends wives and it's absolutely bonkers!! It kind of fits the MO a bit.

If I was you i'd be wanting to book a 3 week all inclusive somewhere to let the steam out!!

Well my mum lives in Spain, so I think come Easter hols, I'll go out there Smile
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