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Old Git Racing |
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Old Git Racing World Chat Champion
Joined: 08 Aug 2009 Karma :
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MarJay |
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MarJay But it's British!
Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 23:09 - 15 Oct 2018 Post subject: |
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I split up from my ex by choice, but even so it was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I still felt bad when I realised I'd probably never spend any sort of time with her ever again, and so I totally understand why you're feeling the way you are. I can't imagine what it must be like.
I want to avoid platitudes or the usual 'chin up' type nonsense you read on social media with stuff like this. It's not really helpful, so I will try to say something that is helpful, as best I can:
It's very sad, and grief is normal, so I don't blame you for feeling the way you do. Nobody else would blame you either, and you certainly should not feel guilt or remorse because you feel her loss. Divorce and break up are weird things, and I barely get my head around it myself. ____________________ British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another. |
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Polarbear |
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Polarbear Super Spammer
Joined: 24 Feb 2007 Karma :
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Posted: 01:24 - 16 Oct 2018 Post subject: Re: Ex missus |
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Old Git Racing wrote: | She died today, we haven't been together since 1990. She was the mum of my 2 kids, dont love her or owt like that after all these years, but she was a big part of my life and I feel it.
Don't want any condolences or such, but it doesn't matter, if you once loved them and had something it still gets to you
OGR. |
Does it? I must be abnormal as I felt absolutely nothing when my first wife died a few years ago. No sorrow, no hate, no regrets.
Maybe cause we had no children, or maybe (more likely) I'm an unfeeling bastard.
Anyway, don't let something from the past negatively affect your present, aint worth it. ____________________ Triumph Trophy Launch Edition |
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Sister Sledge |
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Sister Sledge World Chat Champion
Joined: 17 Aug 2018 Karma :
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Skudd |
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Skudd Super Spammer
Joined: 01 Oct 2006 Karma :
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Big Jock |
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Big Jock Renault 5 Driver
Joined: 01 Aug 2016 Karma :
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struan80 |
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struan80 World Chat Champion
Joined: 04 Nov 2014 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 00:16 - 17 Oct 2018 Post subject: |
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Yeah I must admit, I know I'll be a bit gutted when Anita's dad (my second husband) pegs it - and not least of all because she loves her dad and I hate to see her crying. Her father and I have a long history now, over 32 years for good or bad, and really we're pretty good mates (we met up for coffee the other weekend to discuss flea powder for his cat)
As you say, when you've felt that way about someone (and for me it was a good 10 years that the real feeling sustained itself) ... the affection comes in and out like a tide, not quite so regular, more out than in, LOL ... and not as strong as it used to be.
He's an irritating old fool but I shall miss him when he's gone (and I expect him to be gone before me, as he's 9 years older than me, and showing all his 66 years and more).
My first husband (in NZ) was a nice fella (too nice!) but because I was only 18, I didn't develop the same passion; by the time we divorced I was 21, and there wasn't much "grown-up" emotion involved. In fact, I had a bit of a crush on one of his mates. Unrequited love has so much more passion in it ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
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CBFcarl |
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CBFcarl Nearly there...
Joined: 29 Oct 2013 Karma :
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Posted: 10:11 - 17 Oct 2018 Post subject: |
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One of my exes died a few years back. We'd only been together about 18 months, but they were mental. A lot of bad shit came out after we'd split up, including the multitudes of cock she had consumed behind my back, the thousands that she scammed me out of, and then started telling people that I'd cheated and slapped her about (the opposite was actually the case). So about 3 years after we split, I found out from my brother (who is now married to her sister) that she had cancer. Given that this woman has shown a habit of lying pathologically, I took the news with a handful of salt.
Then she died.
The bloke that she married shortly before her death passed on responsibility of her kid (his stepkid) to my brother and her sister, and that was that. It seemed like the opposite of our break up, where I started thinking of all the good things that we had in the relationship, and ignoring the absolute psychopath side of things.
Her daughter, now only a year older than my stepson, had lost her mother and never known her real father, all before 15. Her dad, already a mess, became more so. He'd lost his wife (her mum) when she was giving birth to my ex's sister.
I still think about her, and probably in a better light than when she was alive. Did I love her? Probably not. It was a weird relationship that involved a lot of alcohol, drugs and mind games. I am sad that she is dead. She was a couple of years younger than me, and she has left a husband, three sisters, a daughter and people are meant to live longer than their early 30's.
(about the same time, a good friend and work colleague hung himself. The two things happening in such a close timeframe really knocked me, and I went to therapy for a year).
hellkat wrote: | In fact, I had a bit of a crush on one of his mates. Unrequited love has so much more passion in it |
This happened once, when I was but a teenager. A girl that I was dating had a thing for one of my mates. We split, and I'm pretty sure they hooked up a few times. That's why all of my mates are uggo munters now ____________________ thx1138 wrote: Well if you had a car, I'd bet it would smell like urine had had drunken sex with vomit and made a poo baby.
Polarbear wrote: They are all old now. Probably had more abuse that a Rotherham schoolgirl.
Hellkat wrote: I want to know if Nigella smells of garlic, or just minge. |
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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struan80 |
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struan80 World Chat Champion
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MarJay |
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MarJay But it's British!
Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :
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temeluchus |
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temeluchus World Chat Champion
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Sload |
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Sload World Chat Champion
Joined: 28 Aug 2011 Karma :
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 5 years, 199 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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