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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:18 - 06 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

andys675 wrote:
best not mention the Grenfell tower advent calendar then


https://youtu.be/ipqqEFoJPL4 OR https://youtu.be/Adgx9wt63NY?t=8
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 23:00 - 06 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooops

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23IdK0yZMvE
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grr666
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Joined: 16 Jun 2014
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PostPosted: 23:19 - 06 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

andys675 wrote:
best not mention the Grenfell tower advent calendar then

Melted chocolate behind all the top doors?
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 15:56 - 07 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sad
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sniff6
Could Be A Chat Bot



Joined: 23 Apr 2010
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PostPosted: 19:08 - 10 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sheila, the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband Bruce. "Bruce, Bruce!", she yelled. Bruce came running in. 'Bruce, I've bloody suctioned myself to the floor with my fanny ' she said.

'Crikey!' Bruce said and tried to pull her up. 'You're stuck fast girl. I'll go across the road and get Frank.

They came back and they both tried to pull her up. 'No way. We can't do it, let's try Plan B.' Frank said. 'Plan B?' exclaimed Bruce. 'What's that'?

I'll go home and get my hammer and chisel and we can break the tiles under her and release the vacuum.' replied Frank. 'Spot on' Bruce said. 'While you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her tits.''

Play with her tits'? Frank said, 'Not exactly a good time for that mate?'

'No' Bruce replied, 'But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles aren't so expensive'.
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Howling Terror
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Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 14:48 - 14 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I said: “How long will my spaghetti be?”

The waiter said: “I don’t know. We never measure it.”
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Some replies are relevant.
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Raffles
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Joined: 14 Apr 2009
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PostPosted: 23:15 - 23 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

I called my boss today.

"I won't be coming tomorrow," I said. "My grandmother has died."

"That's bullshit," he replied. "You've already used this excuse three times before."

"I know," I answered. "My grandfather was a Muslim."
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RhynoCZ
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Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 00:57 - 24 Dec 2018    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does my Thai girlfriend have a penis? Something inside tells me she does.
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'96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1 (sold) - '90 Honda CB-1 (sold) - '88 Kawasaki GPz550 (sold)
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; At my disposal: MZ 150 ETZ
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Fisty
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Joined: 11 Apr 2007
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PostPosted: 08:44 - 11 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

What did the autistic builder use in his concrete?

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bar.
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MCN
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Joined: 22 Jul 2015
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PostPosted: 12:27 - 18 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been back at work for a week or two so they sent my to Occupational Health for a check up.

I've just been diagnosed as a 'paranoid bigot.

The Doctor didn't actually say that but I know the fenian bastart was thinking it.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:11 - 18 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Doesn't time fly...
Only a few days ago it was Christmas and now it is the end of May.
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'96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1 (sold) - '90 Honda CB-1 (sold) - '88 Kawasaki GPz550 (sold)
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; At my disposal: MZ 150 ETZ
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MCN
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Joined: 22 Jul 2015
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PostPosted: 23:03 - 18 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
Doesn't time fly...
Only a few days ago it was Christmas and now it is the end of May.


You asked for this.

https://youtu.be/tbCDFNRA-Wo

Try to unsee that.. Very Happy
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MCN
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Joined: 22 Jul 2015
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PostPosted: 23:04 - 18 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
Doesn't time fly...
Only a few days ago it was Christmas and now it is the end of May.


You asked for this.

https://youtu.be/tbCDFNRA-Wo

Try to unsee that.. Very Happy
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Sister Sledge
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Joined: 17 Aug 2018
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PostPosted: 10:22 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A couple of things about May.
The first is I wonder what she's like in the sack? I dunno - just curious.
The second is I'd really like to hear her swearing - the F word, everything. I suppose you could combine the two as a rowdy sex session but separate will do.
(Ste will know)
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chickenstrip
Formerly known as
chickenstrip YFPOS



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
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PostPosted: 10:37 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

MCN wrote:


Try to unsee that.. Very Happy


I did try, but you posted it again. Bastard.
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-.
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Joined: 29 Sep 2015
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PostPosted: 12:02 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sister Sledge wrote:
The first is I wonder what she's like in the sack?

Sterile.
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chickenstrip
Formerly known as
chickenstrip YFPOS



Joined: 06 Dec 2013
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PostPosted: 13:56 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sister Sledge wrote:
A couple of things about May.
The first is I wonder what she's like in the sack?


Ffs, go see a psychiatrist.
What's she like in the sack? Coal, I would imagine.
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
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MCN
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Joined: 22 Jul 2015
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PostPosted: 22:33 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's T. May like in the sack and swearing?

She ain't got no fucking rhythm.
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Sister Sledge
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Joined: 17 Aug 2018
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PostPosted: 22:49 - 19 Jan 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
Sister Sledge wrote:
A couple of things about May.
The first is I wonder what she's like in the sack?


Ffs, go see a psychiatrist.
What's she like in the sack? Coal, I would imagine.


I'm on a list!
A long list it seems - May made the lists very long and they're leaving us free to roam..
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King29
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Joined: 18 Oct 2017
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PostPosted: 16:49 - 06 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Riding my motorcycle, I did a huge sneeze into my full face helmet. Couldn't see a thing and ran up the arse of a car.

I blame it on the boogie.
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 17:09 - 06 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

SneezePal
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Tracey Suntan-King
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Joined: 10 Nov 2012
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PostPosted: 00:48 - 12 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A bear walks into and bar and says, "Please may I have a pint of


























beer?"

The barman replies, "Why the big paws?"
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 15:05 - 12 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

A bear walks into and bar and says, "Please may I have a pint of beer?"

The barman replies, "fcuk me a talking bear."
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Hong Kong Phooey
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Joined: 30 Apr 2016
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PostPosted: 11:11 - 22 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you hear about the prolific criminal who went for a test drive in an electric Nissan, rolled it and crashed into a cop car at 90mph?

The case went to court for dangerous driving. The presiding magistrate instantly dismissed the case stating the defendant was free to go as he'd turned over a new Leaf.
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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 15:23 - 22 Feb 2019    Post subject: Reply with quote

Puke
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