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bhinso
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Joined: 21 Jun 2008
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PostPosted: 16:42 - 23 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I remembered it.

The Coronavirus pandemic is getting so bad, the Germans are putting beach towels on the hospital beds.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 17:45 - 23 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

bhinso wrote:
I remembered it.

The Coronavirus pandemic is getting so bad, the Germans are putting beach towels on the hospital beds.


Those Covid19 jokes are a bit sick.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 17:52 - 23 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

MCN wrote:


Those Covid19 jokes are a bit sick.


People seem to be in an almost feverish hurry to come up with them. Have any so far been that good that they've gone viral?

No, I don't need to get my coat - I'm self-isolating at home Smile
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recman
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PostPosted: 08:05 - 24 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
Have any so far been that good that they've gone viral?


I like the one about the bloke having to stay inside the house with nothing to do except talk to his mrs and consequently discovering she's been made redundant from Woolworths.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 10:07 - 24 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I miss Brexit.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 11:04 - 24 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
I miss Brexit.


Your blocked for that one, ya bastirt. 😡

🤣
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 11:09 - 24 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

One of my own t'boot.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 16:42 - 24 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

2021 is going to be brilliant.






Getting a toilet roll delivery at twenty past 8.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 13:03 - 25 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

An astronomer who liked to study the sun went and banged a fat prostitute who was positive for covid19.

He had a coronal mass ejaculation.
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MCN
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PostPosted: 20:57 - 25 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Howling Terror wrote:
2021 is going to be brilliant.






Getting a toilet roll delivery at twenty past 8.


You hurted my arithmetic and my body clock both at the same time with that.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 09:58 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

^^^Proof if ever there was that sometimes something something.
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andys675
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PostPosted: 13:19 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I ordered a chinese meal last night

the delivery driver knocked the door and when I opened it he shouted at me "ISOLATE ISOLATE"

calm down pal, it was only a couple of minutes!
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bhinso
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PostPosted: 16:41 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

'Our meeting was scheduled next week'. Chinese translation: 'Wai Yu Kum Nao"
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 17:57 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's pink and hard in the mornings?













The Financial Times crossword.
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bhinso
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PostPosted: 18:00 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

90's joke.

What's small and pink and hangs out your trousers?






Yer mom.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 18:05 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A thank you to Rhyno, but you know your joke has bombed when you only get a single " Thumbs Up Informative" Laughing
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:26 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

chickenstrip wrote:
A thank you to Rhyno, but you know your joke has bombed when you only get a single " Thumbs Up Informative" Laughing


Well, it's a clever joke (in a way), ''funny'' rating would not do it justice. Thumbs Up

Oddly enough, I expected Ste to like this joke, though.
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 22:40 - 26 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
chickenstrip wrote:
A thank you to Rhyno, but you know your joke has bombed when you only get a single " Thumbs Up Informative" Laughing


Well, it's a clever joke (in a way), ''funny'' rating would not do it justice. Thumbs Up

Oddly enough, I expected Ste to like this joke, though.


Why, thank you! It was genuinely my own Smile
I was watching a Joey Diaz podcast from some months back, and he had a t-shirt on with a "Corona" logo...spooky! And I just started thinking about a play on words. Don't think I'm ready to make my living from stand-up yet though Laughing
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WreckTangle
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PostPosted: 10:04 - 27 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Some arsenal players have spoken out about the depression some of the players have been dealing with since learning they can't play football.....


It's kind of nice how this corona virus brings out a little self reflection. Mr. Green
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 15:21 - 27 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went to the bookshop the other day. I asked the man behind the counter if he had any books on paranoia. He whispered "they're right behind you!"
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MCN
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PostPosted: 19:15 - 27 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man goes to see his doctor.
Doctor asks what's wrong with him?
Man say, "I get this feeling that everyone ignores me."

Doctor shouts, "Next!"
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 19:29 - 27 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the street corner today there was a dirty, dishevelled man, playing a battered old guitar.

He sang, "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful. A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical....."

I said, "That's Supertramp."

"Thanks very much." he replied
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recman
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PostPosted: 22:09 - 27 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
On the street corner today there was a dirty, dishevelled man, playing a battered old guitar.

He sang, "When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful. A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical....."

I said, "That's Supertramp."

"Thanks very much." he replied


https://i.postimg.cc/xjPZjzkL/20200327-210731.png
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Peanut_Butter
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Joined: 11 Feb 2020
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PostPosted: 22:04 - 29 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

A joke I seen on tik tok late at night and for some reason it's really tickled me.

What do you call a rooster staring at a lettuce?







Chicken Caesar Salad Laughing
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MCN
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PostPosted: 18:20 - 30 Mar 2020    Post subject: Reply with quote

Peanut_Butter wrote:
A joke I seen on tik tok late at night and for some reason it's really tickled me.

What do you call a rooster staring at a lettuce?







Chicken Caesar Salad Laughing


You Sir, are staying up far too late. 🙄
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