Change of underwear moments?

[Old Git Racing]

Had many crashes racing and they all shit you up a bit to one degree or another. One I got away with where I didnt actually crash bothered me the most.
Olivers Mount, the left hander at the top of Sheene rise, flat out in fourth on my TZ, maybe 90+mph lost the back end on cold slicks, went through the screen over the front wheel, saw the spectators jump back from the bank. Due to pure luck I ended up sitting on the tank still holding the bars and duly went up the slip road before the right hander.
After that days racing went and had a look at where it happened and there was a 15ft crescent of rubber where it let go. At that moment the consequences of what could have been hit me and I felt physically sick.
Been off at Scabby a couple of times but I dont think I'd have walked away from this one.

OGR.

PS I won my class the next day.
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2022 Tiger Sport 660 2019 Street Twin 2003 K3 gixxer 1000 1998 Srad 600 track hack

[redeem ouzzer]

RD350B, 2 mile straight flat B road, T junction each end. Wound bike up through the box, doing 90 ish, see a pheasant on the verge, just about to think “don’t you fucking dare” and the fucker takes off and I get it full in the chest, somehow despite being winded and having a dead arm I stay on and get it stopped on the back brake. How I stayed on I don’t really know as it was one hell of a hit. Got home, had to be helped out of my jacket, right arm and a sizeable amount of my torso was black as the ace of spades. To me it was far scarier than any of my general Riding like a dickhead moments as I had no influence in it happening or not. Granted if I’d been going slower it might hurt less but the stupid creature would still have crossed my path. I’ve avoided that bit of road ever since.
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Be a REAL MAN!

[Islander]

About a month before I passed my test I was riding my 250 along Romford road and something caught my attention for a second. When I looked back, a car and a van had come to a stop side by side at a zebra crossing. I grabbed a handful of front brake (twin leading shoe drum) to perform an emergency stop and the cable snapped at the lever. I managed to get through the gap between the car and van with what felt like inches to spare and across the crossing without hitting anything or anyone but I swear I left a long brown trail behind me.

[Coby]

On the way home from a country pub with a good jukebox and a pool table.
Yamaha RS100, expansion chamber, 'L' plates, for some reason I was in front. Looking for a right turn, 'one candela' headlight, crap breaks; saw the turning last second, gravel, ended up with the front wheel in a ditch!

My mate on a GSX400 behind me, nearly dropped his bike he was laughing so much. But he was kind enough to pull me out of the ditch backwards...once he'd stopped laughing.

[Riejufixing]

Ah, the slowest brown-trouser moment ever. Tootling along on an outfit, in traffic, hot sunny day, doing a couple of miles an hour at most. Near the motorway junction. A couple of 44-tonne bulk carriers coming the opposite way at a similar slow speed.

As they came up just abreast of me on the other side of the road, probably about 3 metres/10' away there was this sodding great enormous BANG!! that resounded right through me and I couldn't see anything at all for dust and grit and smoke and bits of crap flying about.

Tyre blowout on big lorry tyre. 'Kinell.

[Chuffin Nora]

[pepperami]

What Forced said about stupid birds and brown trouser moments reminded me of my stupid bird moment.

The bike in question had spoked wheels , not cast, this is significant.
So I’m trolling along a nice straight bit of road and picking up a bit of speed.
I can see a flock of pigeons in flight ahead and to the left of me.
One decided to vear off and fly towards me?
I’ve got enough time to think “stupid bird is gonna hit me if it doesn’t stop!”.
The bird drops it’s flight a bit lower and ploughs straight into my front wheel
With a large bump and an explosion of feathers like I’ve never seen, it hit the spoked wheel.
I was travelling at about 65mph and the pigeon was flying at a fair old lick and it went straight into the spokes = instant shredded pigeon !

Luckily I stayed in control of my bum hole, but it certainly got the heart pumping
It took me a long time to get all the feathers out of my bike.
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I am the sum total of my own existence, what went before makes me who I am now!

[doggone]

Scottish registered car ahead of me on A169 passed Flamingoland junction, slowed and pulled onto verge.
I assumed looking up directions or one of kids sick, wants a pee.
As I was committed to go past he commenced a U turn.
Braked manically and somehow slipped just behind him hoping he kept going and didn't see me then hit his brakes too .

[Coby]

[/quote]
Wouldn't it have been vastly safer to hire a van, or were the jukebox and pool table riding their own bikes?


Abstract; but the funniest thing I've read in a while.

[droog]

I've had the usual crashes, been hit side on by a car and ended up in hospital, narrowly missed an armchair that was sitting in the middle of the M3 at 90 mph in pitch darkness etc but one of the most terrifying and ridiculous, utterly clownish moments happened to me about twenty years ago just after leaving work on my Bandit 600 when I saw a girl I liked from work waiting in her car at the traffic lights at a busy T junction on a major west London trunk road - I was a relatively new biker and still full of sh*t and under the bizarre and utterly false impression that riding a motorbike would attract women - my plan was to coast up alongside her car and as I came to a halt 'blip the throttle' (what a twat) and give her a wave (utterly vomit inducing I know )

Instead as I came alongside her stationery VW Golf my hand slipped on the throttle (or something? I sill can't work out what f*cking happened) - and I went shooting off through the red lights and careered (terrified) across the road narrowly missing the traffic that was thundering through (f*ck knows how I managed that) - I then mounted the kerb of the traffic island opposite - which shot me out of the seat - but I managed to hang onto the bars and stay upright and ended up sitting marooned and gibbering in the middle of the carriageway.

Next day at work she didn't mention anything - I reckon she was looking at the lights waiting for them to change and didn't even notice the motorcycle psycho stunt clown alongside her suddenly shoot off and dissapear into the heavy traffic - thank f*ck . . .

[xX-Alex-Xx]

Not claiming this as mine (far from it !!), but definite change of underwear for those 4 guys...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?edufilter=NULL&v=RLE9v0yd_vo

edit: Shit, just watched the video to the end for the first time too....
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DILLIGAF

[wr6133]

Another "favourite", though no picture of this one.

Was heading to Calne Bike Meet (IIRC 2014), I was on my then recent to me ZZR400, I was following a GSXR750Y and one of those old (early '90's) 1000cc Triumph Daytona's. Being on the slowest bike by a big margin, I was pushing the thing hard to keep up with the other 2.

I followed the GSXR in to an overtake. Now following people in to overtakes is a pretty fucking stupid thing to do anyway but this one was cresting a blind hill on a 2 lane rural road that barely allowed 2 cars to pass........ so extra fucking stupid with a side order of stupid moron.

GSXR obviously tore past the car and cleared the entire manouvere before the crest of the hill. ZZR400 not so, I crested the hill alongside the cars passenger door and as I looked at the road ahead a volvo was incoming at speed. The little bike was already full throttle and not closing the gap fast enough, volvo was getting closer. I decided to try the other way and threw out all the anchors hoping I could tuck behind the car...... sods law as I do this the car driver decides to try the same. I had no time now to accelerate, so just squeezed harder and started to feel my front do that twitchy shit it does just before letting go.

Somehow I got behind the car with what felt like hundredths of a second to spare. I used to have it all on cam. The above paragraph all took place in what felt like 5 minutes but was actually from seeing the car to getting behind the one I was alongside was not much over 5 seconds. I can still remember the Volvo drivers face, it was a weird combo of utter shock and total rage . I had to stop and chain smoke, never since followed anyone in to an overtake.

[Coby]

[quote="xX-Alex-Xx"]Not claiming this as mine (far from it !!), but definite change of underwear for those 4 guys...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?edufilter=NULL&v=RLE9v0yd_vo



Holy shit!

[Coby]

OK; freezing cold day, out on my Yamaha RS100, 'L' plates, frayed two stroke cable inner making throttle operation difficult (a sort of all or nothing throttle really).
Due to damp, snowy conditions the bike was misfiring especially at low revs!
Got frustrated with the misfire and simply whacked the throttle open trying to pull away... the bike shot out from under me after dragging up the road for a short distance with me in a 'horizontal' position, feet straight out behind, trying to hold onto the handlebars, the bike, once I'd let go, simply 'fish tailed' up the road on its' own in the snow still revving flat out in first gear.

Once again I had an audience of someone I knew, this time a lad from the year above me at school who was sitting outside the garage where he worked having a cup of tea.
I'm not sure what hurt my pride the most...let's just say his laughter was 'hysterical'.

[Wonko The Sane]

[kawakid]

On a desolate road that I had ridden up and checked for vehicles and I mean desolate.

After hitting ridiculous speeds a car appears and proceeds to turn right across my path, no time to do anything, I thought to myself that’s me and I missed him.

Felt good to be alive.

I’ll never do 61 in a 60 again.
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I've a twin and a 4.

[dextersaurus]

I've probably had a few that I simply don't remember.

Most notable ones?

One time on a massive group ride where we tend to police the roads ourselves and stop traffic at roundabouts (I know, I know), I enthusiastically flew out on to the roundabout, stopping on a live lane, on which a fully loaded lorry was making progress towards me. I'm blissfully unaware, looking back and shouting at the guys still sitting at the junction wondering why they aren't pulling out and catching up with the group. I remember seeing their eyes, wide open, staring at me. wasn't until I looked the other way I see a massive red grille right in my face. Turns out he'd only managed to stop a few inches from me and u narrowly avoided becoming purée.

Another one was when I had a Triumph TT600 which went surprisingly well. I was making decent progress through the coast road which had recently been resurfaced, not doing anything too daft considering I knew there was a police van behind me.
I hit a bump, which put me into a tank slapper, so I opened the throttle up to try to get out of it. What I didn't realise was that I was a bawhair away from the crest of a hill so as I did that, the front end shot up in the air, bike still wobbling on the back wheel, and came down with a horrible bang. At least I'd managed to get out of the tankslapper...
The police followed me to the car park where I stopped for a smoke and to check the fork seals, and said they'd seen it and wondered if I needed a change of pants.
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2002 RSV Mille | 2003 955i Tiger | 1998 CBR900RR Streetfighter | Fazer 600 hardtail chop

I was MrDunkable in a previous life. Then questioned why I was the one being dunked...

[jeffyjeff]

1970: My first bike, a Suzuki 120. I was a few months past 16 years old, kind of a nerd, shy around girls. One sunny spring Saturday I was riding across town to a high school track meet when I come upon a very attractive acquaintance and her busty friend. They waved me over and asked for a ride to the track meet. One look at her friend's knockers and it was all over for me. Sure! I said, tossing caution and common sense into the ditch.

We proceeded across town on the back roads (wary of police). Three on the bike, the girls had no gear, not even jackets, and no helmets. We got to the school; the field was up a little hill. I suddenly realized that my underpowered 120 might stall out on the hill, leaving me embarrassed and shamed. I downshifted into first as we turned up the hill and hammered the throttle wide open. To my surprise and shock, the bike wheelied up the hill (well, until both of my passengers slid off the back.) Naturally, in front of a crowd of teenagers.

I sheepishly parked my bike, I could hardly look anyone in the eye. My attractive passenger marched over to me, clearly agitated. "SHOW OFF!" she blurted, and stomped away. My butt still hurt my asshole was puckered so tight!
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History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men - BOC

[Freddyfruitba...]

[wr6133]

[jeffyjeff]

[Quickly]

[ThunderGuts]

My one happened on a mini tour, somewhere between Kendal and Hawes (can't remember which road exactly), there were two of us, my mate was leading on his sporty bike and I was on my Bonneville. We'd been riding since early morning so probably a little fatigued, went into a blind left corner which unexpectedly tightened up. It caught both of us off-guard, but my companion had the benefit of experience and a more agile bike, I meanwhile tried to scrub a bit of speed (semi-successfully) and managed to get around, but not really on the line I wanted to! Fortunately nothing came the other way. It hammered home the "slow in, fast out" approach.

On the same trip, I also had the dubious pleasure of experiencing my first "intercom overtake"; he had passed the slow moving car and was ahead, the road was tight and blind, and I was stuck behind the car. Out of the blue he said "right, it's clear ahead, no gates or side roads, go for it". It took a few of these instructions before I summoned up the courage to commit to a blind overtake . . . it worked, but it was a near-brown trouser moment as I just didn't enjoy it. I avoid such things still . . . I know in theory if the road is clear, there are no gates, drives, junctions etc. there should be no issue, but it still is a bit of a head game thing!
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TG.

[jeffyjeff]

I went on a group ride with seven other San Francisco Bay Area VFR riders over to Topaz Lake on the Nevada border for lunch. We blasted up State Route 108 across the valley and through the Sierra Nevada foothills, the pace was brisk. Crossing the mountain range, we stopped at the summit to rehydrate; the pace picked up as we descended down the east side. We got to the junction of SR108/US395 and turned north. It was a beautiful October Saturday, the high desert road was void of traffic, with gentle sweepers and long straight stretches. Crazy George, our leader, picked up the pace even more; we were riding single file and easily doing triple digits. Rounded a sweeper and hit the throttle hard on exit, only to see a Highway Patrol car in a pullout to the right. I glanced down at the speedo and saw we were doing just north of 120mph. Shit!

I saw my professional life flash before my eyes. I was employed as a Safety and Training manager for a Bay Area transit fleet. A citation for doing double the speed limit would certainly put my continued employment in jeopardy, and because I held a “commercial driver license”, might land me a night in jail.

As we flew past, the Highway Patrol office lit up his lights and hit his siren in two short bursts, “CHIRP”-“CHIRP”. Then….nothing. No pursuit, he didn’t move an inch! We all nearly shit our pants, then rode like model citizens the rest of the way into town, half expecting a second encounter with police further along the road. We stopped at a diner for lunch in Walker, then refueled in Topaz Lake. We couldn’t figure out why he didn’t pull us over, he could have easily written us up for ten grand in citations.

We backtracked to Highway 89 and turned west onto State Route 4. Then Crazy George picked up the pace again… I didn’t bite this time… my trousers were still soiled from our previous near-miss encounter. Sure enough, 20 miles down the road I come upon Crazy George pulled over by the Highway Patrol; no sign of the other 6 riders. I thought that our group ride was scattered to the winds. Some distance further on I pulled into a petrol station for a little break; here come the other six riders, five minutes later, Crazy George pulls up.

They were all riding well over the limit on twisty highway 4 when the cop lights them up. George was the lead bike; he pulled over. The others scattered, pulling off on side roads to wait out their friend. The patrol officer asks George for license and registration. “You know, I used to know a Crazy George in the Air Force . . . . George?” Turned out these two used to hang together thirty years earlier in the armed forces. The cop let George off with a warning, basically telling him to grow up and ride responsibly.

We finished our group ride without incident. Eight years later, we still get together for rides on a semi-regular basis.
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History shows again and again how nature points out the folly of men - BOC

[EazyDuz]

Worst one that comes to mind was travelling down a 30mph residential road, car in front coming from the opposite direction slows and signals right to turn into a street, as I'm approaching he begins the turn, clearly didn't see me coming, panic braked which caused the front wheel to lock up and slide about 2 metres, narrowly missing his rear left quarter as he made the turn. Bike stalled but kept it upright.
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To shreds you say? Tss tss tss