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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 13:05 - 23 May 2020 Post subject: |
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Yea I had cause to do one something like that, about a year ago: applied to a sort of training course thing, for which you had to have fairly hefty vetting, i.e., more than just a garden or variety DLB check, which I always pass with flying colours (of course).
They wanted to know my previous partners, and when I listed them (the last three, anyway) I was like "Fuuuuuuuuu" ... they all had police records and history of varying degrees, including the one which I had had arrested for assault (upon me) but all three were "fairly well known" to police forces here and, erm, abroad
So I just winged it and wrote something in the "supporting statement" which basically amounted to "Guys, don't judge. I'm a nice girl really" ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
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P. |
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P. Red Rocket
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Karma :
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
Joined: 08 Mar 2019 Karma :
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Posted: 13:21 - 23 May 2020 Post subject: |
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Talking of bullets [tenuous segue] the other day my wife came back flustered "there's police all round Nonna's flats!" and "apparently someone got shot in the side alley and the gunman's still on the loose!" etc.
Turns out it was just a drugs raid. No one got shot, no guns found at the scene.
Where did she hear this fanciful tale? Kid next door who heard it from their mate who heard it from... you catch the drift. The tragic combination of fantasy and social media. Lies delivered in moments
What would be nice is if someone traced it all back and, for every embellishment or lie added to the story, that person got a slap. My wife would be fine (naturally) as she repeated the story verbatim. Whomever added "...and his brains were all splattered over the alleyway!" would get a good kicking ____________________ Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter |
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 17:04 - 23 May 2020 Post subject: |
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I have decided to celebrate being dumped by smoking the rest of the "Dead Man Walking" and bingewatching Netflix until 2am Tuesday morning.
Better get in some custard and Soleros*, just to be on the safe side.
Happy days.
*Soleroes/Solero's ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
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Kawasaki Jimbo |
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Kawasaki Jimbo World Chat Champion
Joined: 09 Oct 2015 Karma :
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Riejufixing |
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Riejufixing World Chat Champion
Joined: 24 Jun 2018 Karma :
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stinkwheel |
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stinkwheel Bovine Proctologist
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 21:02 - 23 May 2020 Post subject: |
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Minor one but it did annoy me slightly. Went to shoot a sheep today with a captive bolt stunner. There are different grades of percussion cap for these, the bigger the animal, the more grains of explosive you need. They are colour coded.
Anyway, for a sheep, you just need the small ones, 1.25 grain. They have a pink top. Relatively small pop and the job is done.
Shot the sheep. Oohyah fucker! Whole hand is dinging, super loud bang. Nearly dropped the stunner which recoiled like a frigging jackhammer. Was actually a 4 grain red top which you'd use for a bull. You also usually use them in a different stunner which is more heavy-duty. (a 9mm handgun will use a 4 grain charge).
It's not unmanageable but damn was it unexpected!
Who the hell decided on these colours? I mean, I'm not colour blind but the difference between a dab or red and pink paint on brass? Or if you're going to do that, why not make them sequential rather than the least and most powerful you can fire from that stunner?
Would have been worse if I'd tried to shoot a bull with a pink top I suppose. ____________________ “Rule one: Always stick around for one more drink. That's when things happen. That's when you find out everything you want to know.”
I did the 2010 Round Britain Rally on my 350 Bullet. 89 landmarks, 3 months, 9,500 miles. |
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
Joined: 08 Mar 2019 Karma :
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Easy-X |
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Easy-X Super Spammer
Joined: 08 Mar 2019 Karma :
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Posted: 21:30 - 23 May 2020 Post subject: |
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So not me but the wife this evening...
Drug dealers in a (not, as it's BMW) Mini looking pretty obvious parked up on the road outside. Bloke pulls up in a silver car who only fecking lives 6 doors down WTF you lazy sod, get your daily exercise, WTF, dude!
Anyhoo, deal done they sling their rubbish out of the window. Drug dealing is one thing but my wife lost her shit at this point. (BTW, Mini sounded like a box of spanners as it sped away.)
Moments later the neighbour pulls up to another Mini 10 yards away and waits... and waits... and... then he's on his phone (dark enough to see the screen light up from our front window.)
"That's not the drug dealers' car you fucking moron!" [it's another neighbours car, been parked there all day]
Guy's obvious already off his tits. Mini (box of spanners) returns, another drug deal done and the world returns to normal....
NOPE! My wife has gone to the extra effort of making a big banner with "Please do drug deals outside your own house and here's the rubbish your dealers left" which she is just about to pin under the windscreen wipers of the silver car that's just up the road.
Discretion, the word for today is Discretion. ____________________ Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter |
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Riejufixing |
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Riejufixing World Chat Champion
Joined: 24 Jun 2018 Karma :
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JackButler |
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JackButler Traffic Copper
Joined: 11 Nov 2019 Karma :
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stinkwheel |
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stinkwheel Bovine Proctologist
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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BigTim |
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BigTim Trackday Trickster
Joined: 29 Sep 2017 Karma :
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BigTim |
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BigTim Trackday Trickster
Joined: 29 Sep 2017 Karma :
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Posted: 10:18 - 24 May 2020 Post subject: |
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:[/quote]
I remember , I was hiding in the bushes watching [/quote]
Watching and Waiting but lacking the confidence to join in, so you had a wank instead?
Perhaps you should post this in Best n worst one night stand thread? ____________________ MZ S50B, Suzuki GP100, Honda CBF1000, Honda Blackbird (I like my Blackbird) |
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Islander |
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Islander World Chat Champion
Joined: 05 Aug 2012 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 11:43 - 24 May 2020 Post subject: |
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Poor Reijubobbins.
Hopefully you got it all sorted out, geezer. ____________________ Not nearly as interesting in real life. |
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JackButler |
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JackButler Traffic Copper
Joined: 11 Nov 2019 Karma :
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Jewlio Rides Again LLB |
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Jewlio Rides Again LLB World Chat Champion
Joined: 06 Oct 2015 Karma :
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P. |
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P. Red Rocket
Joined: 14 Feb 2008 Karma :
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MilfHunter |
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MilfHunter Scooby Slapper
Joined: 15 May 2020 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Tracey Suntan-King |
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Tracey Suntan-King World Chat Champion
Joined: 10 Nov 2012 Karma :
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hellkat |
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hellkat Super Spammer
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 3 years, 334 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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