You prepare yourself for THAT phone call....

[MCN]

Its the desperation at the time that kind of shocks one into dumbness.

I think our minds can disconnect a little to help us cope and still sort of function.

Then we can grieve a little whenever we feel like it and for ever after.

I never get over parent's, family and friend's deaths, it's always with me I hope.

Make the best of what our parents left us with is what we should do.
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Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.

[Analogkid]

My sincere condolences to you Andy.

[Skudd]

It's nearly two years since my Mum died, still feels odd. I miss her cakes.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[andym]

I decided to update (and put to bed) this thread..... slightly drunk, so waffling and probably not making much sense... sorry in advance.

From the death certificate, the best I can make out my mum had a stroke, (Complications of cerebrovascular disease), so hopefully in the end she didn't suffer (unlike the way she was tortured by my dad in her final years).

So I know I've met a few of you in real life, the rest are just pixels on a screen, so all of you take this as drunken waffling.

A couple of days after my mums death I had to endure 2 hours of my dad insulting my mum, because he still held a grudge after 40+ years of her being raped, he got it in to his head that after that incident she was out fucking every guy she laid eyes on.....

At the moment, I still can't mourn the loss of my mum because I'm pissed off at my dad for A) telling me all this shit and b) he's still holding a grudge about all the other stuff that may or may not have happened after this length of time.

Basically I feel guilty that I haven't felt bad and shed a tear that my mum has gone.... I think about that phone call, I think about how she looked in her bed when I seen her*, seeing this stooped scrap of a woman compared to what I remember.... maybe I just didn't associate that shell with my mum.



* So my mum fought to the very end and had the fortune of passing in her own bed, am I the only one that thinks it's a bit sick that my dad is still sleeping in the same bed without so much as changing the sheets?

[MarJay]

[hellkat]

Still, look at the up-side.
You got to video chat with me
(a privilege endowed upon very few)

Sometimes grief comes in fits and starts, and you're working some of it out by just writing it down. Expressing it is as much a part of coping with it as anything.
Go with the flow, chap.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[BanditsHigh]

Sorry to hear of your loss, and no there's nothing wrong with not crying much.

I lost my cousin Jacqueline two years ago (aged 57) on April 28th, my mum passed away three days later on May 1st (tomorrow) ... she would have been 83 on the 3rd.

It was the worst and best day of my life ... the three of us (kids) got to spend the entire day with her in hospital, laughing and crying with her before she slipped away.

Like you, I didn't cry much ... she had a really shit time with health issue over the last 5 years of her life, so to see her not in pain anymore made it easier ... even her wrinkles seemed to disappear.


I still say goodnight to her and tell her I love her .... maybe, one day we'll meet again

So, ignore what anyone else thinks and remember your mum in the way you want to

All the best ... Barry

[hellkat]

Earth to planet Andy, just checking you are kicking along ok?
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[andym]