Post lockdown bike recovery

[Davemc37]

First up a confession. I haven’t been on my bike for at least eight months. It’s used as a commuter and I’ve been working from home for the last 20 months and due to lots of soy and decorating I’m generally too busy to go out for a pleasure ride at the weekend.

In this time it’s been parked at the back of the garage attached to a trickle charger but someone switched off the power for this I don’t know how long ago. Long story short there is enough juice to turn the alarm on or off but it won’t start.

I’m probably going to buy a new battery as I think this one is trashed but are there any sensible checks a mechanical know nothing like me should be doing before hand or afterwards. It’s due it’s mot at the end of the month and way overdue a service so assuming I can get it started I will probably just take it straight to the local garage. I’m almost tempted to call out a mobile mechanic but fear this may be very expensive where I live in Essex.

Any suggestions greatfully received but please keep it simple.
____________________
born again biker with a mere 23 year gap between bikes.

[doggone]

It should be fine a lot of bikes get little or no use for six months or longer.
The battery might be recoverable but best to get another and crack on.
It would be worth changing oil and filter in case of condensation but even that rather optional.
A surprisingly common occurrence is rodents nesting or storing food in the air box.
You might check that unless 100% sure they can't get in.

[Mysteriass]

* Disk brakes might be sticky or even stuck.

* Tyre pressures. 30psi is better than nothing if you don't know the pressures.

* Scrub the chain, bit of oil. It might be a bit stiff.

* Fresh fuel and give the bike a shake to mix the old crap in.

* Gummed carb? Stuck float might cause an overflow or make it run rough -> Give the float bowls a tap with a screwdriver if they're stuck.

* Make sure the exhaust bolts aren't rotting / corroding into the cylinder -> Might be worth copper slipping them now rather than waiting for them to seize later.

* Could squirt a bit of WD-40 or spray grease down the spark plug holes. Let that soak in for a bit then put the bike in gear and spin the back wheel slowly to wet its whistle.

* Make sure the air filter hasn't disintergrated into dust. If so it'll be waiting to get sucked into the carb / cylinder.

* Go round the bike and squirt a bit of WD-40 onto all nuts and bolts. See if anything pops out at you as unusual while you're doing that. Maybe even run a spanner over all of them to make sure nothing is loose.

* Look on the floor around the bike for leaks of fuel, coolant, brake fluid, oil.