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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 17:12 - 28 Nov 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?













Trombones Laughing

Apologies to whoever I nicked this from
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chickenstrip
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PostPosted: 17:33 - 28 Nov 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?













Trombones Laughing

Apologies to whoever I nicked this from


That's ok, I don't think they'll want it back Razz
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Chickenystripgeezer's Biking Life (Latest update 19/10/18) Belgium, France, Italy, Austria tour 2016 Picos de Europa, Pyrenees and French Alps tour 2017 Scotland Trip 1, now with BONUS FEATURE edit, 5/10/19, on page 2 Scotland Trip 2 Luxembourg, Black Forest, Switzerland, Vosges Trip 2017
THERE'S MILLIONS OF CHICKENSTRIPS OUT THERE!
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 21:56 - 28 Nov 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between and Indian and an African Elephant?

One is an Elephant.
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Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 15:21 - 04 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

For my dad’s birthday we bought him a falconry experience. He really enjoyed it, but he said that little brown leather helmet was too tight.
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Tracey Suntan-King
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PostPosted: 15:31 - 04 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tracey Suntan-King wrote:
What's made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones?


Trombones Laughing

Apologies to whoever I nicked this from


Made the mistake of telling this to a Cypriot last night. Had to spend several minutes explaning/translating "brass". By the time he'd understood, the punchline was wasted Rolling Eyes
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 17:27 - 09 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've just gone to the Co-op to get some milk and a couple of young lads stopped me outside and asked me to get them 10 Richmond. But they only had packs of 8 and when I handed them over outside they called me every name under the sun! Told them they could buy their own damn sausages in the future, ungrateful little sods.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 14:36 - 10 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Opinions are like orgasms... I don't really care if you have one Laughing
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Raffles
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PostPosted: 21:11 - 10 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Opinions are like arseholes.....Everyone's got one and most of them stink!
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Raffles
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PostPosted: 21:14 - 12 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elton John is to record a charity record for victims of tornado disaster.

Candles in the Wind.
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The Artist
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PostPosted: 21:52 - 12 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

The FIA
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GettinBetter
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Joined: 20 Jun 2019
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PostPosted: 23:27 - 12 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant women?

You can unscrew a lightbulb. Smile

Robbed from YT Shorts.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 13:36 - 25 Dec 2021    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ollie: I thought I told you to stay upstairs?
Stan: I did
Ollie: so what are you doing down here?
Stan: I fell out of the window.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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The Shaggy D.A.
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 13 Jan 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot. He sees a couple in a car with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.

Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver's window.

The young man lowers his window . "Uh, yes, officer?"
The cop says: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."

Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says: "And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car, at night in a Lover's lane....and nothing obscene is happening!

The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says, "I'm 22, sir."
The cop asks, "And her ... what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies: "She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
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Currently : Royal Enfield 350 Meteor
Previously : CB100N > CB250RS > XJ900F > GT550 > GPZ750R/1000RX > AJS M16 > R100RT > Bullet 500 > CB500 > LS650P > Bullet Electra X & YBR125 > Bullet 350 "Superstar" & YBR125 Custom > Royal Enfield Classic 500 Despatch Limited Edition (28 of 200) & CB Two-Fifty Nighthawk > ER5
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 15:09 - 07 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the definition of a reverse exorcism?
-When demon tells a priest to get out of a kid.
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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Joined: 09 Oct 2015
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PostPosted: 21:33 - 16 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

A chap at the BMW dealership quit today. Everyone was surprised. He gave no indication.
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 22:52 - 16 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’ve just heard that the man who stole my personal and private diary has died. My thoughts are with his family.
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 19:45 - 17 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

My girlfriend said she could think of 14 reasons to leave me, plus my obsession with tennis.
I said, "That's 15 love."
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 20:35 - 17 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

5 signs of laziness:

1.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 16:24 - 18 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know only 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know why.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 16:38 - 18 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I heard a nasty rumour about butter...

...but I'm not gonna spread it!
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 21:29 - 18 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man walks into a pub and starts drinking. The bloke next to him at the bar stares intently for a few minutes and finally says, "Do you know any martial arts, like kung-fu, ju-jitsu, or karate?"
The man says, "Why the fuck are you asking me that? Is it because you think I'm Chinese?"
"No," says the bloke, "You're drinking my beer.”
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Kawasaki Jimbo
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PostPosted: 20:09 - 23 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heading down to the Autopsy Club later.
It’s open Mike night.
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Easy-X
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PostPosted: 12:22 - 24 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kawasaki Jimbo wrote:
Heading down to the Autopsy Club later.
It’s open Mike night.


https://assets.atlasobscura.com/article_images/800x/12900/image.jpg
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King29
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Joined: 18 Oct 2017
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PostPosted: 00:05 - 26 Feb 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

UPDATE FROM THE PALACE!

Queen in bed with Covid 19.
Prince Andrew in bed with Chloe 15 !
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Old Thread Alert!

The last post was made 2 years, 32 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful?
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