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It's sort of brown.

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lingeringstin...
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PostPosted: 00:50 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: It's sort of brown. Reply with quote

Behold, The Turd. Still going.

https://iili.io/wW4UQt.md.jpg
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blurredman
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PostPosted: 11:51 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where'd you go then?
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CBT: 12/06/10, Theory: 22/09/10, Module 1: 09/11/10, Module 2: 19/01/11
Past: 1991 Honda CG125BR-J, 1992 (1980) Honda XL125S, 1996 Kawasaki GPZ500S.
Current: 1981 Honda CX500B - 91k, 1987 MZ ETZ250 (bored to 295cc) - 38k, 1990 MZ ETZ251 - 49k, 1979 Suzuki TS185ER - 9k, 1972 MZ ES250/2 - 17k.
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to v or not to v
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PostPosted: 13:41 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

that looks like a torture device!
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.
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virus
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PostPosted: 16:03 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

Have you cleaned it? Shocked Laughing
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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Bhud
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PostPosted: 22:38 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

Definitely not something I'd want to ride. But I like the sheer strangeness of it. It would be interesting to look at it and wonder about how it got to be what it is. You're a very strange chap. This sort of stuff injects a bit of colour and variety into the world.
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gbrand42
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PostPosted: 23:27 - 14 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

What is it? How is it?

Genuinely interested in the back story of this one
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Yamaha RD50M, Honda C90, Yamaha RS100, Yamaha RD125LC, Honda XL125 V9 Varadero, Honda NT700VA, Honda VFR800X, Honda CRF1000L, Honda ST1300 Pan European
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pepperami
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PostPosted: 17:05 - 15 Jul 2022    Post subject: Re: It's sort of brown. Reply with quote

lingeringstink wrote:
Behold, The Turd. Still going.

https://iili.io/wW4UQt.md.jpg
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Fair play to you riding that! Tis a strange beast Shocked Confused .

One things for sure, nobody is going to nick it Wink Smile
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struan80
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PostPosted: 14:53 - 17 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

There's room for a turbocharger.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 15:55 - 17 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

front mudguard on backwards or just stupid?

that may or may not be a false dichotomy
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Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125
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lingeringstin...
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PostPosted: 02:23 - 22 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="gbrand42"]What is it? How is it?

Genuinely interested in the back story of this one[/quote]

I acquired it sometime in the early 1990's in London. At the time it was an absolutely bog standard 1976 MZ TS250 four speed (look up pics of them, this one was blue).

I saw it in somebody's driveway when I was delivering a parcel as a courier and commented about it because I'd never seen one before.. The guy said it was for sale, I said how much, and he said £200 so I told him I'd come back at the weekend and fetch it. I rode it about 30 miles home.

In my garage I discovered there was no oil in it whatsoever. Didn't seem to make a damn bit of difference that I could notice.

Being a courier I had other bikes so this one was just a thing. I used it sometimes when my main bikes were laid up for some reason. It was the worst bike I have ever owned in all my life. I wouldn't wish a 6 volt MZ TS250 four speed on my worst enemy.

I eventually changed everything about the bike I didn't like, which was everything. Now the only part left of the original bike is the frame. Everything else has been changed, modified, hacked about and altered in myriad and unmentionable ways.

At one point me and another guy decided to see how fast we could make an MZ go. This lunacy involved alcohol (for both us and the bike) and all sorts of stupid shit. I flung it down the track a few times and blew up about half a dozen engines and eventually got it up to 109mph.

After many alterations and amendments I made it into a road bike again using whatever spare bits I had at hand and then used it almost exclusively as my courier bike for about the next 10 years. Zillions of miles.

When I stopped being a courier I looked at the two bikes I had and sold the CBR6 and kept the MZ as my only bike. At the time I was still running it with MZ engines because back then people were literally giving them away.

Over the years since then MZ spares have become rocking horse shit so now it's got a modified Honda Benly, Chinese quadbike hybrid contraption engine. It's the most dependable bike I've ever owned now. And I still hate it.

Many years after buying it I discovered that the geezer I bought it from got it at a Christie's car auction for £55 about a week before I showed up at his door, I was the third owner. It had apparently belonged to some old German gits named Walter something-or-other and some guy named Earnst Degner before I got it.

In a nutshell, it's a heap of shit that will do a mile a minute all day long on miserly petrol consumption and is the easiest, cheapest and quickest to repair bike I've ever had.

It's been around quite a bit in the 30-odd years I've had it. Sordid biking tales too numerous to mention. Been to Germany on it and all over. Great bike now. Still worthless but at least it's double digit insurance and tax exempt.
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lingeringstin...
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PostPosted: 02:24 - 22 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="trevor saxe-coburg-gotha"]front mudguard on backwards or just stupid?

that may or may not be a false dichotomy[/quote]

That's a nifty thrifty Honda 50 mudguard!
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A100man
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PostPosted: 12:33 - 22 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

On the one hand..

Quote:
It's the most dependable bike I've ever owned now. And I still hate it.


.. but then again

Quote:
Been to Germany on it and all over. Great bike now.


Great story - chapeau!
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lingeringstin...
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PostPosted: 00:43 - 23 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="A100man"]On the one hand..

[quote] It's the most dependable bike I've ever owned now. And I still hate it.[/quote]

.. but then again

[quote]Been to Germany on it and all over. Great bike now.[/quote]

Great story - chapeau![/quote]


Yeah it's a great bike NOW, but I still hate it because of all the years when it was the worst piece of crap I'd ever sat ass on.

The reason I still have it is because I wasn't going to let the bastard thing defeat me. At least it does what it's supposed to do reliably now. That was never the case when it was still mostly an MZ. It constantly broke down in wild and bizarre manner, always at the worst possible moment, like seizing a piston going flat out in the central lane of the A1 coming back from a courier drop in Milton Keynes and chucking me ass over tit down the road, breaking a few bones along the bounce.

The electrics of a bog standard MZ are purposefully designed to thwart the known rules of physics and the bikes were specially built to wobble at every speed including standing still. The patented Perma-leak forks were fitted with only the best Bounce-o-matic springs and the exhaust was made to clog solidly shut about every 300 miles and were impossible to clean out. The SuperSlippy self destructing clutch is the worst clutch design I've ever encountered. In bog standard form the TS250 was the depth of motorcycling depravity.

So the more shit I altered, adapted and changed the better it got. Eventually the whole bike apart from the frame was changed for something else. I can't even remember what all it's made out of now. I know the front wheel is part Yamaha and part Honda, laced up with E-bike spokes by yours truly, and the forks are Suzuki and the tank is Bantam and the double overhead underhangers are from a Zundap 120, and there's even a bit of my old CBR6 on there.

It's literally just a thing made of stuff and it will never be worth more than it's weight in scrap metal, but a long time ago I decided that since it was the worst bike I had ever experienced I was going to fix it until it wasn't, just because I couldn't bear to admit the defeat of buying the worst bike ever made.
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Bhud
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PostPosted: 01:32 - 23 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's amazing. Some might consider it a deathtrap, but it's a worthwhile reminder nonetheless that that sort of motorcycle culture (fix it and hope for the best) has always existed, and exists right up to the present day. Totally get that sentiment about not wanting to admit defeat.
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 06:05 - 23 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've always loved MZs for one simple thing - the engine often looks like the HT lead is the only thing keeping it in the frame.

I well remember, back in ooh I dunno, 1992, my mate saying I've bought a bike!!! Whoah cool, this I gotta see - and my heart sinking when he showed me his MZ 250. Hmm yeah - erm, nice one. So....aren't these East German or something? That's right yeah. Wow. Anyway, fancy a pint. Yeah go on then.
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Mobylette Type 50 ---> Raleigh Grifter ---> Neval Minsk 125
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lingeringstin...
Trackday Trickster



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PostPosted: 20:49 - 29 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

[quote="Bhud"]That's amazing. Some might consider it a deathtrap, but it's a worthwhile reminder nonetheless that that sort of motorcycle culture (fix it and hope for the best) has always existed, and exists right up to the present day. Totally get that sentiment about not wanting to admit defeat.[/quote]



Funnily enough people have been telling me for the past 30 years it was a deathtrap but as of yet it's still not killed me. In fact, it's probably the safest bike I've ever had now, but that's because I'm well aware of what it is and what not to try to do with it. When you've sat ass on a bike for that many years in every sort of weather you gain an instinctive knowledge what it's going to do in any situation.

The fact that it's low powered, hardtailed, has fairly pitiful drum brakes and runs on only the best tyres £35 can buy means you just don't take stupid chances on it. I am well aware of what kind of insane contraption I'm riding on and I don't suffer any misfortunes even though it does countless thousands of miles a year (no idea how many because I stopped using a speedo years ago) sometimes pulling a homemade trailer across the country to some rally or other, generally by way of non-motorway roads (the more scenic the better I say) in all the pissing down rain, sideways sleet and everything else the fine British "worst heatwave we've ever had" throws at me along the way.

All that and the tax exempt status and double figure insurance make it the "best" bike I've ever had even though it's the worst bike I've ever owned.
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virus
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PostPosted: 13:35 - 30 Jul 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

having ridden it back in the MZ engined days when there was a high percentage of diesel in the tank (all be it in a field not on a road) I can whole heartedly agree its a bag of shit, but its a really good bag Laughing

Good to see you and it are still kicking squire.


Cheers
VJ
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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