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RhynoCZ
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Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 18:11 - 28 Nov 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll admit it, I have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lives forty miles away.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Howling Terror
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Joined: 05 Dec 2008
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PostPosted: 15:55 - 11 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

My son became addicted to brake fluid but he can stop any time.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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B1N
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 13 Feb 2022
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PostPosted: 15:30 - 12 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

My wife told me she thought we’d have less arguments if I wasn’t so pedantic.

I told her, “I think you mean fewer”.
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B1N
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Joined: 13 Feb 2022
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PostPosted: 15:31 - 12 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy?

Cameron Diaz.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 18:52 - 12 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

"An object immersed in a fluid should then mop up the floor around the bathtub."

Archimedes' wife, 246 BC.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 20:08 - 15 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had a row with the wife last night and she threw a bottle of fabric conditioner at me. It must have been Lenor as it was too close for comfort.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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Skudd
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Joined: 01 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 00:55 - 16 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's so bloody cold that Scousers have their hands in their own pockets.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".
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virus
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Joined: 17 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 18:03 - 16 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

The bit in between the front door and the back door of a Nandos is called the Peri-Peri-Neium.
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 23:36 - 20 Dec 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know that feeling when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat?

Yeah, that's arrhythmia.
You can die from that.
____________________
Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:45 - 01 Jan 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've heard Trump wrote a book. I've also heard that it was the only book with four Chapter elevens in it.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 21:45 - 10 Jan 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

What's the best way to make people remember you?

Borrow money from them.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 21:35 - 01 Mar 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

'My joints are stiff.'

You're rolling them too tight.
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Diabolical homemade music Bandcamp and Soundcloud
Singer songwriter, Artist and allround good bloke Listen to Andrew Susan Johnston here
The Harry Turner Project
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virus
World Chat Champion



Joined: 17 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 17:48 - 03 Mar 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

why do chicken coops have 2 doors?


Because if they had 3 doors they would be called a chicken hatchback.
____________________
own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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to v or not to v
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Joined: 24 Nov 2020
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PostPosted: 21:15 - 03 Mar 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

whats the difference between Shamima Begum and a mackerel?

one has slimy skin, big bulging eyes and stinks

the others a fish.
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.
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panrider_uk
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Joined: 23 Sep 2007
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PostPosted: 17:42 - 12 Mar 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

A 9 year old girl has disappeared...

She disappeared after using a revolutionary new moisturizer that makes you look 10 years younger.
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Current bike: Honda ST1100
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doggone
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Joined: 20 May 2004
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PostPosted: 17:10 - 21 Mar 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://i.postimg.cc/Qdy5GmLm/doc.jpg
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B1N
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 13 Feb 2022
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PostPosted: 13:25 - 05 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

pictures
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 13:18 - 06 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought I heard the onions I bought the other day singing a Bee Gees song but when I double checked I found it was just the chives talkin'.
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Easy-X
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Joined: 08 Mar 2019
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PostPosted: 10:59 - 21 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

After a gruelling and sometimes dangerous 2 hour car chase, the Paparazzi finally managed to lose Harry & Meghan.
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter
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B1N
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Joined: 13 Feb 2022
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PostPosted: 09:26 - 22 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

More pics Laughing
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B1N
Scooby Slapper



Joined: 13 Feb 2022
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PostPosted: 09:28 - 22 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

And another one. Laughing
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Easy-X
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Joined: 08 Mar 2019
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PostPosted: 22:06 - 26 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

I used to think the Scofield Scale was how hot your chillies were but it turns out it's actually how many inches you can get inside an intern Shocked
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Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter
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RhynoCZ
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Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 17:22 - 29 May 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

https://www.rouming.cz/archived/Wholesome46.jpg
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI; MZ 150 ETZ, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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King29
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Joined: 18 Oct 2017
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PostPosted: 07:50 - 01 Jun 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’m dating a bin lady at the moment but I can never remember if I’m supposed to take her out on a Monday or a Wednesday
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to v or not to v
World Chat Champion



Joined: 24 Nov 2020
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PostPosted: 20:02 - 02 Jun 2023    Post subject: Reply with quote

King29 wrote:
I’m dating a bin lady at the moment but I can never remember if I’m supposed to take her out on a Monday or a Wednesday

just empty your sack in her and dump her at the gate.
____________________
current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.
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