A Joke A Day

[RhynoCZ]

A lad buys condoms. The cashier asks, do you want a bag for that? The lad replies, nah, she's not that ugly.
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Easy-X]

As petrol's so expensive I put vodka in the lawnmower... the grass is half cut.
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[Kawasaki Jimbo]

Apparently people are calling webuyanycar and asking what they’d pay for a 15 year old escort.

[Easy-X]

I was down the gym the other day and I noticed a hole in my trainer just big enough to get my finger in.

Anyway, she's lodged a formal complaint and now I'm barred for life
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[recman]

I keep forgetting the meaning of certain words.
Today I couldn't remember what apocalypse meant.
Ah well, don't suppose it matters.

[B1N]

picture

[Easy-X]

What would you do if you discovered a woman choking?

Pull back 2 inches and apologise.
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[King29]

I own two shirts and some neckwear that used to belong to the guy out of the mamas & the papas.

All the sleeves are brown
And the tie is grey.

[King29]

Why do black people have Nightmares?

They shot the last one that had a dream.

[RhynoCZ]

[MCN]

I was asked, 'Do I smoke after sex?'

I said, 'I'm not sure, I've never looked.'
____________________
Disclaimer: The comments above may be predicted text and not necessarily the opinion of MCN.

[to v or not to v]

[King29]

[MCN]

[RhynoCZ]

https://www.rouming.cz/archived/Legit_04-03-2012.jpg
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Nobby the Bastard]

[RhynoCZ]

[Chuffin Nora]

[Easy-X]

The fundamental difference between men and women comes down to violence:

Man: "I'm gonna kill you!"

Woman: "I'm gonna make you want to kill yourself!"
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[Easy-X]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F2D1B_VXoBM9sHf?format=webp&name=small
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter

[RhynoCZ]

There is a nun having a bath, and she hears a knock on the door, and she's a bit worried. So she shouts out, "Who is it?"
And he says, "It's the blind man."
She said, "Well, come in."
And as he comes in, he says, "Nice tits. Where do you want the blinds?"
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[RhynoCZ]

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that!
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[recman]

I got an email earlier about how to read maps backwards.
It was spam.

[RhynoCZ]

“Poor old fool,” thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. So he invited the old man inside for a drink.

As they sipped their whiskys, the gentleman thought he’d humour the old man and asked, “So how many have you caught today?”

The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
____________________
'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor

[Easy-X]

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F4r3WkjX0AEOMJH?format=webp&name=small
____________________
Husqvarna Vitpilen 401, Yamaha XSR700, Honda Rebel, Yamaha DT175, Suzuki SV650 (loan) Fazer 600, Keeway Superlight 125, 50cc turd scooter