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A Joke A Day

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virus
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Joined: 17 Aug 2006
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PostPosted: 17:22 - 01 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

heard reports of people trying to climb the fence at Glastonbury this year.

Stewards made them come back down and watch coldplay Laughing
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.
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RhynoCZ
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Joined: 09 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 19:06 - 02 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

I went down the local supermarket, I said, ”I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said, “Those are pickled onions”.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 17:20 - 03 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 17:16 - 04 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
I went down the local supermarket, I said, ”I want to make a complaint, this vinegar’s got lumps in it”, he said, “Those are pickled onions”.


Acceptable.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 23:16 - 04 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

I’ve got a pen that can write underwater,

It can write other words as well.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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to v or not to v
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Joined: 24 Nov 2020
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PostPosted: 17:46 - 05 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
I’ve got a pen that can write underwater,

It can write other words as well.


this one made me lol, but i feel that it shouldnt have Laughing
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 05 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

A polar bear walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer. The barman says, “£17, please.”

The polar bear pays and takes a seat.

Bemused, the barman approaches and says, “This is exciting, we don’t get many polar bears in here!” To which the polar bear replies, “I’m not surprised with beer at £17 a pint.”
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 20:57 - 06 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He says
‘Two pints please. One for me and one for the road’.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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to v or not to v
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Joined: 24 Nov 2020
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PostPosted: 10:10 - 07 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

RhynoCZ wrote:
A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He says
‘Two pints please. One for me and one for the road’.


some of youre jokes remind me of Tommy Cooper Laughing
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current bike Yamaha Thunderace.
its old and fat, but its a damned good ride. the bikes not bad either.
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 17:57 - 07 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bartender here?”
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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recman
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Joined: 26 Mar 2012
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PostPosted: 09:06 - 09 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
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Dave....
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Joined: 13 May 2016
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PostPosted: 13:40 - 10 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

recman wrote:
What do you call a man with a rubber toe?


Roberto?
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RhynoCZ
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PostPosted: 19:50 - 10 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

“I had an accident opening a can of alphabet spaghetti this morning,” said Murphy.
“Were you injured?” enquired Seamus.
“No, but it could have spelled disaster,” concluded Murphy.
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'87 Honda XBR 500, '96 Kawasaki ZX7R P1, '90 Honda CB-1, '88 Kawasaki GPz550, MZ 150 ETZ
'95 Mercedes-Benz w202 C200 CGI, '98 Mercedes-Benz w210 E200 Kompressor
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Howling Terror
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PostPosted: 09:18 - 12 Jul 2024    Post subject: Reply with quote

Went swimming yesterday, had a pee in the deep end.

Lifeguard spotted me and blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in.
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