Rant

McJamweasel · BCF Junkie Joined: 22 Mar 2002 Karma :

Following several recent events I feel that its time I confronted the forum gods. I have 3 main points.

1) Why oh why can I not seem to wake up in the morning? I just cant do it - I have a clock radio that pumps out radio 1 shite so loud that I have to turn it down when Im awake, but i can ignore it when Im asleep!

2) Why have I been sitting on my bollocks every time Ive been on my bike the last few days?

3) Why have you seen fit to blow (oo er missus!) one of my fork seals again? It wouldnt be so bad if it was the one that wasnt changed, but its not! Its only been on the bike for a few months!

In short - ITS NOT FAIR!!! Evil or Very Mad

[/rant]
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BCF: Be yourself, just don't be an arse.

G · The Voice of Reason Joined: 02 Feb 2002 Karma :

1. Get a high pitched alarm. Place it on the other side of the room angled towards your head Smile

2.

3. Slightly bent fork most probably, get teh stanchion checked/straightend

Life isn't fair, get used to it Razz

Mr C · World Chat Champion Joined: 24 Feb 2003 Karma :

I think I might be able to offer some insight through the wisdom of my advancing years.

1) It's easy to wake up in the morning, you just need to zzzzzzzzzzz..! eh, what is that the time, 5 more minutes zzzzzzzzzzz....... fook late again.... ah bollox might as well be a sheep as a lamb .... zzzzzzz... bollox it's 9:00... fuck it .. zzzzzz.. suns out.... I know I'll take the bike to work .... via Aberdeen ah buggrit ring in sick and fuck off to the coast.. Laughing

2) Either your leathers are too tight. (You should see mine, I look like a woman sometimes my bollocks are rammed so far into my body they look like tonsils.) .. or.. you are like Buster Gonad and have unfeasibly large testicles. Shocked

3) Fork seals are a mystery much like women. One minute they are well lubed and sliding up and down your pole, next they are dried up and perished and making your life hell. Same solution in either case .. buy a new bike. Very Happy

In short.. it never is.

Keep yer pecker up, it could be worse.. oh yes, much worse. Twisted Evil

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187.3bhp = 201mph

Milo · World Chat Champion Joined: 08 Feb 2002 Karma :

Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Bendy · Mrs Sensible Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Karma :

Zimma · Wheelie Junkie Joined: 04 Feb 2002 Karma :

Annabella · Like a person, only smaller Joined: 03 Feb 2002 Karma :

@ bendy - nice one!

Buy a really uncomfortable bed, then get Hel to thieve all the duvet, so you don't get to sleep - that way, you're already awake in the morning. So you see - I'm never late for lectures - even 9am ones!
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Avast! Pirates ahoy!
I did Cadwell! Very Happy

www.bikepics.com/members/bella

Demonic69 · The Pink Rhino Joined: 31 May 2002 Karma :

That's only cuz you're always shagging before uni.

If men weren't designed to ride bikes, who were? Obviously not women cuz bikes have engines Very Happy

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Back on a Blade. Just feels so right.

Bendy · Mrs Sensible Joined: 10 Jun 2002 Karma :

Eunuchs, I spose.

McJamweasel · BCF Junkie Joined: 22 Mar 2002 Karma :

@ Mr.C

As for number 1, well I 'just' got up after setting my alarm for 9:30, being up for a while with incredible stomache pain for a while around 9:00 and being on the fone to 2 different people just after 10:30. Confused

Dammit!!!

2, Neither tight leathers nor busta gonad syndrome. Confused

3, Damn fork seal!!!!
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BCF: Be yourself, just don't be an arse.

zaknafien · Joined: 25 Mar 2002 Karma :

1) have a baby, wait till it's about 2 then you'll be woken every morning around 9 with a large slap on the face and words like 'Get up, daddy play!'

2) your supposed to sit on the seat not the tank Razz

3) premature ejaculation?
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02 Firestorm.

McJamweasel · BCF Junkie Joined: 22 Mar 2002 Karma :

Zak - 1, Er...no!
2, Ill try that.
3, Wha......
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BCF: Be yourself, just don't be an arse.

JimboJ · Manc Pikey Joined: 23 Aug 2002 Karma :

lifes a bitch....like sum1 sed....if i didnt have bad luck id have no luck at all.
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[00:42] <NSR-Andy> which one's the missionary position
[00:42] <NSR-Andy> i've heard it's good
[9:42pm] <Shaun> you came first mike | <Shaun> yes gav, because I really want to fuck you

WildGoose · White Van Man Joined: 20 Mar 2002 Karma :

superb thread mcjam, made me laugh many times, thankye Very Happy

1. i have the same thing, the only time ive ever been able to get up on time, is when my dad came to wake me up once, i told him to "***k off" and he came back with a bucket of water, nuff said, but that definately worked

2. think yourself lucky you dont have a CBR250, its bad enough as it is, but without the tank pad i would definately have no bollocks left, yes ive had to pull over many times, drop to the floor, and cry in pain, after one too many bumpy corners

3. new bike time Very Happy

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So in other words, he stopped you for being flagrantly in posession of a motorcycle in direct contravention of the Hippies, Darkies and People Whose Face I Don't Like The Look of (Police Powers) Act. 1976

Kickstart · The Oracle Joined: 04 Feb 2002 Karma :

Kris · World Chat Champion Joined: 03 Feb 2002 Karma :

1) Go to bed a bit earlier

2) Saggy bollocks? Well you are getting on a bit I 'spose Laughing

Tuck 'em in your pockets next time Razz

3) Your bike is in a mood with you. Pamper it for a few days, tell it you love it and will be together for ever....then...while its asleep, sell it and get a new one Wink

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www.prisonplanet.com

McJamweasel · BCF Junkie Joined: 22 Mar 2002 Karma :