Pretty fucked up life at the mo.

[carlnicholson...]

Well, I'm not looking for advice, as I probably wouldn't follow it anyway knowing me, but thought I'ld share my life with you for your entertainment pleasure! That and I feel the need to vent it!

I'm getting proper pissed off at the minute, everything always seems to turn to shit on some sort of 'rota' system! My Dad has always been a tosser, and fucked up my eldest brother quite badly. Being the youngest, I got away with it, but he always made my life quite shit.

My Mum eventually left and divorced him last year after 30 years of him cheating and abusing her, (about time), and within 2 weeks he was shacked up with some bird he'd met on MSN. Me and my oldest brother are both getting married this year, and he has decided he's not coming to either. His new Mrs is proper turning even more sour then he already was. I'm not arsed TBH, but it just seems like another slap in the face. I just found out he was also shagging his brothers wife and had a kid with her 30 years ago. The girl I always thought was my cousin is actually my sister.

My Mum wasn't much better. She never cheated on him, but always seemed to resent having us because of the way he was. We were having the first proper conversation we have ever had this morning, (I'm nearly 23 now), and she wanted to know why I never loved her. I explained how I felt about my upbringing, and she seemed to understand. The good side is I now have the chance to have some sort of relationship with her, but I don't know for sure whether I can or not yet .

After doing 4 years in the RAF, (I applied for the Army but my twat of a Dad would only let me join the RAF, and I was 17 so needed his signature), I have bummed from shit job, to shit job, and now found another job that is equally unstimulating, but pays a brilliant wage. It's good to have a decent income at last, but it soooo depressing it's unreal. I also have a fucking complete tosser who works here who is adament he is my boss. He isn't, he does the same job as me, and he's starting to wind me up on a serious level.

I want a job that isn't going to depress me, but I'm giving up hope. I left college early without getting the BTEC, so only have my GCSE's, and my CV since leaving the RAF is just a pepper pot of 3 month jobs spread over 18 months. It's horrendous!

I've got my own house, which needs a shit load spending on it, but can't do anything til after the wedding, but it's better then living at her parents house, which we did for over a year, (Don't do it, ever!), and me and her are always falling out over petty little things. Constantly.

It just pisses me off. She is the only person I know I can talk to, (my so called family is little more than a joke, who all seem to hate each other), and is the only person to ever really know me, and I keep spoiling it with my foul temper.

Well, thats about it. Instead of getting on with it, I keep looking back at all this and let it get me down. I keep thinking of just fucking off somewhere with no plans to return, but I know it won't achieve anything. Not unless I get this anger issue under control anyway! My biggets concern is that Sam, my fiancee, will get pissed off with it and fuck me off, it's is doubtful, but that would just be the icing on the cake.

We'll have to wait and see. Now back to reality, may the saga continue.......
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[BanditBitch]

Hi,
I have pm'ed you.

BB x

[Kwaks]

Good luck mate, your having a hard time but you do seem to be recognising the problems and trying to do something about it.

Its always darkest just before dawn. Now just do something sponanious for your fiancee to show her just how much you love her, its the smallest things that we remember.
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Fallen Angel "Nae sniffing my seat now!!!!! "
www.cliqueycuntsmcc.co.uk
I AM NOT A FAST RIDER!!!!!!!!!

[killa]

If you have come out of this with a home, a women you love and food on the table, that’s their loss and your gain.

At the moment due to the poor timing of things, you’ll only see the negative come out of a situation, speaking to your mum as you have been doing is going to open a lot of doors and bring you closure no doubt.

Eventually I know you’ll look at this from a different perspective and realise that you’re a good person with only good intentions which makes you an infinitely better person, although you should never speak of this to either of them or the people involved, all you can do is keep that drive you’ve had for so long to achieve and you’ll come out the other end smelling of success.

Good luck with it all mate
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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[Annabella]

Killa's right.


Look at the positives. You have a house - your own space, you have someone to share everything with.
Whilst it is difficult if you are upset to keep cheerful and work at your relationship, you need to try.

Your life with Sam sounds like one of the best things you have. Remember that.

Good luck
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Avast! Pirates ahoy!
I did Cadwell!
www.bikepics.com/members/bella

[bazza]

[biker-dj]

I think you've came out pretty ok - your're getting married, you've got a house, ok it needs shit-loads spending on it, but you got plenty of years ahead of you, do bits here and there as time and money allows. Probably getting married is proving to be a bit stressful but the day will come and you'll have a great day. Just keep your chin up mate and best of luck with your wedding and hope you have many happy years together with your future Mrs Carlnicholsony2k
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Ride with the music!

[Katie]

On the whole situation with your Dad ... he sonds pretty similar to mine! I know this may sound harsh but I suggest you cut all ties with him. I did this with mine and I have been able to get on with my life by not having contact with him. He has done some awful things, and the rows and resentment only act as a reminder. I'm not saying forever, come back to it when you have some other things sorted, and you are feeling stronger. You'll be amazed at how much easier you find it to cope once you have. See how things go with your Mum, the steps you have taken are indeed the hardest and the most vital.

As for your job, well, if you don't need that much money to get by, then I suggest you leave. I'd rather do something that didn't earn me very much and enjoy it. If you have a depressing job, then you will focus on all the other depressing issues in your life while you are there. You are then coming home with the weight of the world on your shoulders, and that's how you're getting into petty arguments with your Girlfriend. As other people have said, you are getting married and must love each other very much, so that's one thing you can concentrate on when you are feeling low. Have you discussed how you feel with her? If you try addressing one problem at a time, without looking at it all as one big issue, you may get on easier, and find that some things fall into place on thier own.

Chin up, it's a crappy place to be feeling like everything is falling down around you, I know exactly how you feel. PM if you need a chat.
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Never have a row with an Idiot, they drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

[ZRX61]

[colin1]

thanks for the read. I always find other peoples problems more entertaining than my own. I also like giving advice on other peoples lives when I dont follow my own advice on my life.

It sounds like your problems are in your past as you have more or less sorted out your future.

I dont think ditching the job that pays well is a good idea unless you find something you know you will like better.

Im not quite sure how you can come to terms with your past so that you can enjoy where you are at now.

I dont have a temper, but i did fuck up the relationship I had because of the way I got due to dwelling on things in the past so be careful with that.

Id recommend getting a proper big punch bag and bag mitts to help you get your anger out so you dont lose your temper so much.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[carlnicholson...]

I always try to avoid talking about any issues I have ever had. It has always seemed like a weakness, and that was something my Dad would never tolerate.

Being able to cough all that up on a public forum is a pretty good sign that I have been able to lay a few foundations to start the rest of my life from. Without Sam, I would still be at square one.

Thanks for being open with me, it is proper confusing trying to deal with everything, whilst still trying to maintain to appearance of being strong and carefree. I have put on an act of being tough for so long that even I'm not convinced by it anymore. It's about time I learned to just be a bit more open and just deal with it. Use it to make me genuinely stronger, and to learn from.

Thanks for that peeps, I'm now smiling. Inside.
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[ginguar]

If all else fails you could sell your story to Chat and make a few hundred. I have considered it but my life is just too dull.

[carlnicholson...]

My Mum did that and got £50.

£50 for publically shaming yourself. Erm,thanks but.....

At least on here no one actually knows me, I'm still anonymous!
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[ginguar]

[carlnicholson...]

Erm, me? Erm, no! (Makes quick exit)!!!
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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[ginguar]

Mwahaha now I can sell your story to chat. Publically shaming someone else for £50 doesn't sound too bad.

[carlnicholson...]

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"THOSE WHO RISK NOTHING, DO NOTHING, ACHIEVE NOTHING, BECOME NOTHING."

[Visitor Q]

[IronMaiden]

You have all the stress of moving into a new home, getting married soon and all the baggage from your disfunctional family and boring job!!

I am surprised you are not in a pub right now, drowning your sorrows!
With all you are going thru, it is perfectly natural to be all stressed out right now, so make sure that your GF knows what you are going thru so that she can understand and support you. Communication with your GF is sooo important. Especially as you will soon be married.

Keep a relationship with your folks if you can, even if it is just to phone them now and then. All parents make mistakes (sometimes huge one's!) but they are just trying to cope with life the best they can! You are an adult now so YOU must set the boundaries with your family and decide how much you will allow them to be part of your future. Once you have a family of your own they will become the most important focus in your life.

If your dad doesn't want to go to the wedding's it will be his loss.

Good luck with everything!!

[Itchy]

I don't see a problem , you past is just that something you can't change since dwelling on it won't change anything it is pointless to dwell on such things and to look to tommorow instead, otherwise:

you have a woman who loves you
your own house
a well paying job

others have much much less.