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Steve H |
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Steve H World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 12:52 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: The BCF Top Ten... |
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As none of you will know I irreglarly have submissions of Top Tens on my website they can be found here, however here's something which is more BCF orientated...
The Top Ten BCFers...
10. Ste
What happened in that crash then? Once a calm, peaceful, mild mannered, kid. Ste came out of hospital, made a prompt recovery and is now attempting to redefine the phrase ‘online perv’. Won’t be happy until the aforementioned phrase is googled and his face appears as result number 1 of 47 billion million. You can sponsor him in his quest at www.ste-bagging.com
9. Marjay
Inch High Private Eye for the BCF Masses. Contributes technological knowledge and Red Dwarf trivia (he’d call it data) in equal proportions. Recently moved in with his girlfriend who lost him during the move but thankfully found him underneath an upturned Craig Charles teacup.
8. Babyam/Sadie
Can you tell the difference? Neither can the editor of the ‘TEN’. After investigation I can reveal that they are one and the same person. Our BCF schizophrenic is the only person allowed to register multiple accounts on the same email address after Korns’ outreach programme to his local care in the community hospice. You never see them in the same place and after Mr and Mrs Kickstart’s repeated coffee purchases for them both (subsidised by the NHS – he’s not that generous) during the BMF show Babyam/Sadie spent all of Sunday weeing behind the Federation stand.
7. McGee
Ex Pat living somewhere in America (allegedly) seems to be online ALL of the time and we can reveal this is due to spending 24/7 on a 15 x 20 foot mattress after a dramatic weight increase due to his penchant for midnight burritos and Dunkin Donuts. Recently appeared as a guest on Jerry Springer but was banned from the show and delivered back to his bed by artic lorry after eating the sofa in the green room. Has owned numerous bikes but unfortunately lost his most recent acquisition after it disappeared up his own arse.
6. Killa
What don’t we know about this loveable MC? Well, as he tells us when he’s off to buy a packet of Polo’s at lunchtime the answer is very little. However in another ‘TEN’ exclusive we can reveal the following scoop... In an attempt to beef up his online persona Killa (real name Stephanie La Bouche) chose his threatening moniker, however after a few days his true colours came through and although he’s retained his BCF handle I’d much rather know him by the name he uses on www.cuddlytoyforum.com - Munchkin.
5. Kickstart
The Mod that you don’t want to upset, beneath Keith’s affluent persona lurks an animal of a man, more beast than person. His hands are dirtier than Fred Dibnah’s and his mind is even worse. Keith is a serial Bike fetishist and thinks nothing of taking the Bandit out to dinner while his missus baby-sits the Mini Twins. His oft used tag line is a two finger salute to us all, ‘All the Best’ which if repeated backwards over and over translates to ‘Balls to You’.
4. G
Resident Club Racer and pilot of the BCF Orange Meanie. Rarely waves his moderating status in your face however has been known to use it when trying to get out of speeding ticket. Last time he utilised his rank was on the M1 and his announcement that he was ‘…a BCF Mod’ was met with short shrift by the fuzz who replied ‘Why the fuck aren’t you riding a lambretta and wearing Ben Sherman then sonny jim. Get in the back of the wagon you lying twat’
3. Shaun
If Finbar Saunders had an online personality then this is it. Mixes double entendres with potty mouthed expletives to the extent that he’s been diagnosed as having Typographical Tourettes – if he were Stephen Hawkin then you’d take the keyboard away from the foul mouthed Cock.
2. Silver
BCF track day expert and widely considered to be the richest bloke on BCF. Prefers knee down to eider down and consequently freezes his nuts off when kipping in the paddocks hence his foray into warmer climes for track time in Spain. The rumour that he won’t do Donnington until they put under soil heating in has been doing the rounds recently and when asked to put the record straight for the benefit of the BCF readership this author couldn’t understand his reply due to his chattering teeth.
1. Bendy
Defies the laws of online sexuality to the extent that instead of saying ‘Hi pleased to meet you Bendy’ as a greeting most BCFers exclaim ‘Fuck me you’re a bird, I mean, you’re not a bloke I mean…erm… um… Fuck Me!!!’ when they first introduce themselves to the closet sexpot. Don’t believe a word she says, underneath the size 12 shitkickers that she wears are perfectly manicured toenails painted in No7 ‘babydoll pink’, an ankle chain from Tiffany and a floral tattoo ending at her big toe with the words suck me in Oriental format. ____________________ Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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Mr.Everready |
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Mr.Everready World Chat Champion
Joined: 28 Mar 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 12:59 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Why did you put McGee in there, we'll never hear the bloody end of it now ____________________ the undemocratically unelected mod of the Scottish section |
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Mister James |
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Mister James I want to believe!
Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 13:00 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Of course, now the rest of us will be jealous that we haven't been fondly lampooned! ____________________ >Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you... |
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veeeffarr |
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veeeffarr Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 13:02 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Haha,
Quality
T |
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Icey |
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Icey World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Apr 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 13:09 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Love your Wacky Racers one (I'm a big D&M fan ) ____________________ Mutley - 1988 Austin Mini City - Blog
Suetonius - 1966 Series Land Rover - Blog
Uma J - 1981 Honda 'Naked' Goldwing GL1100 - Blog |
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Rookie |
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Rookie World Chat Champion
Joined: 09 Feb 2005 Karma :
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Posted: 13:13 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Great stuff, especially Bendys. |
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Shaun |
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Shaun Likes 'em bent
Joined: 17 May 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 13:14 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Excellent!
Steve, you never fail to make me quite literally laugh out loud, so much so I'm getting funny looks for sitting at my desk giggling to myself. |
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McGee |
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McGee O RLY?
Joined: 24 Jun 2005 Karma :
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mr jamez |
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mr jamez World Chat Champion
Joined: 04 Aug 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 15:12 - 24 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Lampowned. ____________________ NSR 125F > BROS 400 > NC30 > BROS 400 > Trumpet S4 > '97 VFR 750 |
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distortion |
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distortion Nearly there...
Joined: 08 Mar 2005 Karma :
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colin1 |
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colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :
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Steve H |
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Steve H World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 10:33 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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11. colin1
'For the benefit of those watching in Black and White the Blue TT600 is next to the Yellow R1' – C. Wall, Pot Black, 1984
Has had more name changes than a Witness Protection Programme affiliate and is the first BCFer to have an application for his most recent one ‘Bungalow’ (not much up top) refused point blank by BCF Admin. Having comprehensively studied Enid Blyton’s back catalogue, numerous copies of Readers Wives and the Yamaha R1 Haynes workshop manual colin has recently appointed himself as BCF’s literary critic. Quick to point out the obvious and glaringly obvious with the demise of Ted Lowe and following his recent blackballing by the BCF Mods a career in snooker commentary surely beckons for this loveable Jilly Cooper fan.
Affluent Persona – Rich in moral fibre in Steve H TEN jargon ____________________ Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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Mister James |
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Mister James I want to believe!
Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 11:03 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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More! ____________________ >Soultrader Mister James, I bet you are a copper
>Bazza Wow. Eyes like a shithouse rat, you... |
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colin1 |
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colin1 Captain Safety
Joined: 17 Feb 2005 Karma :
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FreshAL |
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FreshAL Sir Crashalot
Joined: 04 Jul 2005 Karma :
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yambabe |
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yambabe World Chat Champion
Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Sadie |
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Sadie World Chat Champion
Joined: 14 Jul 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 11:43 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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And Sadie doesn't eat chocolate, so while I'm in this guise, the requirement is coffee! ____________________ With experience comes age. |
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Mister James |
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Mister James I want to believe!
Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Karma :
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Posted: 11:50 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Steve H |
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Steve H World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 12:24 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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12. Mister James
Contender for the most pretentious moniker on BCF – his mates (we’d call them in-mates) call him Jim-Jam, Jimmy and in most cases Tosser. This jailbird derision has left him with a Supersized Style portion of insecurity which has manifested itself into an online (micro) chip that lays heavily on his slumped shoulders. The ostentacious ‘Mister’ preceding his rather common (it has to be said) christian name is the glue that holds his fragile senility together. Don’t expect a response to any thread directed at him unless you use his full signature or call him Sir, Chief or Boss. The only reason that he’s so high up the list is that to exclude him after his ‘me, me, me’ requests at inclusion in the TEN could be the straw that breaks this mentalists back. ____________________ Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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veeeffarr |
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veeeffarr Super Spammer
Joined: 22 Jul 2004 Karma :
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dodsi |
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dodsi Dirty Carny
Joined: 06 Aug 2004 Karma :
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Steve H |
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Steve H World Chat Champion
Joined: 18 Oct 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 12:48 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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13. Toby R
‘How white are your whites Toby me old china?’ Danny Baker, Daz Doorstep Challenge, Liverpool, 2006
Number 13 is historically unlucky for some, however we need not worry about foisting this position in the TEN (?) on Tobes as he’ll never take his full test so the negative fortune imposed on him has only a 0.000456 % chance of materializing whilst he’s riding a real motorbike. Has uttered the phrase ‘I’m saving for DAS’ so many times he recently had a lorry load of washing powder delivered to his doorstep by Danny Baker as even he was getting fed up of hearing it. If he saved himself sexually in the same way he saved for his Direct Access then the canine population of Merseyside could sleep safe at night. ____________________ Mellow Yellow
The BCF Top TEN - 2010, 2009, 2008, The Original. |
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MarJay |
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MarJay But it's British!
Joined: 15 Sep 2003 Karma :
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Posted: 12:50 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Steve H. I love you too. ____________________ British beauty: Triumph Street Triple R; Loony stroker: KR1S; Track fun: GSXR750 L1; Commuter Missile: GSX-S1000F
Remember kids, bikes aren't like lego. You can't easily take a part from one bike and then fit it to another. |
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killa |
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killa Won't Shut Up
Joined: 18 Oct 2004 Karma :
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ram_doom |
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ram_doom World Chat Champion
Joined: 25 Mar 2006 Karma :
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Posted: 13:00 - 25 May 2006 Post subject: |
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Steve H you are a legend!! but not in the same sense as i ____________________ TL1000s, KDX200 |
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Old Thread Alert!
The last post was made 17 years, 343 days ago. Instead of replying here, would creating a new thread be more useful? |
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