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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 15:07 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Awkward.... Reply with quote
I was making the most of the weather last week with a day out on the bike; the roads had been pretty empty and I was having a ball. Riding through a small town I came up a fairly solid traffic jam, but as there was plenty of room I just pulled out as per usual, and rode down the outside of the queue.

This traffic continued at a snail's pace out of the town, and I kept on overtaking the queue; all good. Eventually, I could make out in the distance a large wagon making a very convoluted u-turn, so the road was completely blocked in both directions. However, as I approached the end of the queue, when I was about 6 vehicles away from the blockage, I cottoned on that the stationary car at the front was in fact.... a hearse. Yes, indeed - I was in fact in the process of overtaking a lengthy funeral cortege.

Now, I'm not big on funerals myself, and think that whole thing of driving along at walking pace and not passing it is complete and utter ridiculous bollocks; however I do appreciate that others have different views on this and I'm respectful of that. So I was more than a bit embarrassed to find myself in this situation.

The best part, however, was when I had to pull up and wait for the artic to complete its 10-point turn... right alongside the bloody hearse. Shit shit shit shit... eyes front!
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stinkwheel
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PostPosted: 16:08 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I 100% garauntee the occupier of the hearse didn't give a shit.
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xX-Alex-Xx
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PostPosted: 18:43 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
The local funeral directors love to drive their hearse down the fast lane of the local dual carriageway at 25-30 miles an hour and they don't give a fuck how many people are sat behind em.

I have literally zero fucks about passing them on the left... Just cos some other bastard can't move doesn't mean I can't either. Mr. Green
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recman
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PostPosted: 20:11 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I believe it's customary to pass the precession with one's front wheel raised in tribute.

#can'tactuallywheelie.

Last edited by recman on 13:36 - 29 Apr 2022; edited 1 time in total
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Ste
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PostPosted: 21:17 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
stuff

Did you overtake the hearse?
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 21:37 - 27 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Inconsiderate sod wasn't he. Dying and then holding up traffic.

It's something I'd do Angelic
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MCN
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PostPosted: 00:30 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
stinkwheel wrote:
I 100% garauntee the occupier of the hearse didn't give a shit.


Now... Perhaps the occupant didn't give a shit but what does his ghost think of it?

Frederic the Fruit Bat will maybe find out some dark night.

(And before you deny that ghosts exist, there's loads of programmes about ghosts on discovery channel.l
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Fat Angry Scotsman
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PostPosted: 02:22 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I’d have went past it and gave no fucks. The cunts dead and your still alive with a life to go about living. I’d even drop a 21 rev bomb salute too. Laughing
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xX-Alex-Xx
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PostPosted: 06:48 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:
I’d even drop a 21 rev bomb salute too. Laughing


A burnout would be more appropriate if they're on their way to the crem Laughing
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Pete.
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PostPosted: 08:03 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I always try to be respectful around funeral processions but if I found myself in the OP's situation I'd probably either about-face or do a little 'hat tip' gesture before pulling away.

Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:
I’d have went past it and gave no fucks. The cunts dead and your still alive with a life to go about living. I’d even drop a 21 rev bomb salute too. Laughing


If someone did that at one of my loved one's funeral I'd hunt the motherfucker down and burn their bike.
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doggone
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PostPosted: 08:07 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
If it was one of the overdone biker funeral procession things and a boy racer shot by how would it look.
I don't see any harm going past reasonably sedately though.
For anyone regularly using routes near the Crematorium or whatever bear in mind there might be a dozen corteges every day
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trevor saxe-coburg-gotha
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PostPosted: 08:52 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
should've gone up the nearside so you could be an undertaker
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 10:10 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Ste wrote:
Freddyfruitbat wrote:
stuff
Did you overtake the hearse?

Well, having found myself alongside it, it was either that or cutting in immediately behind it and joining the procession indefinitely, which did not appeal, so... Basically at that point I treated the hearse as if it was a kid riding a horse, and just pulled away really slowly at minimum revs until reaching a 'respectful distance'...
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Freddyfruitba...
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PostPosted: 10:41 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Polarbear wrote:
Inconsiderate sod wasn't he. Dying and then holding up traffic.

That reminds me of another funeral story. Oh, go on then.

Decades ago, I had a great uncle who was an absolute bastard, apparently a really obnoxious twat who really revelled in being hated by everyone. When he eventually carked it, he specifically didn't want a funeral (not that anyone would have attended) so it fell to his only daughter (my cousin) to just get him to the crematorium.

My dad went along with her for moral support. Uncle's coffin travelled by hearse, with my dad and cousin following in Dad's car. As soon as they'd set off, Dad kicked himself for not having told the undertaker to drive to the crem at normal pace, so they ended up covering the 10-mile rural route at about 15 mph.

Along the route, a van drove up behind Dad's car and was unable to overtake for ages. The driver obviously hadn't spotted the hearse, and got more and more irate, flashing headlights and leaning on his horn. When they finally reached a stretch of straight road, the guy went for the overtake and as he pulled alongside, looked over at Dad from his cab, continuing to give him verbals. Dad just looked back at him and pointed forwards. The bloke turned to see, and did a double-take as he clocked the hearse for the first time, and then looked back at my father utterly aghast. Apparently he then stood on the brakes and parked up, and was never seen again on the journey.

My Dad and cousin had a really good laugh about it, especially considering that the miserable old git in the coffin would have found it utterly hilarious that he was still managing to piss people off and cause havoc even after he was dead.
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Last edited by Freddyfruitbat on 11:49 - 28 Apr 2022; edited 1 time in total
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Brava210
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PostPosted: 11:45 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
trevor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
should've gone up the nearside so you could be an undertaker



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P.
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PostPosted: 12:10 - 28 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:
I’d have went past it and gave no fucks. The cunts dead and your still alive with a life to go about living. I’d even drop a 21 rev bomb salute too. Laughing


Its most peoples last day with a physical part of their family member/friend. The only time I've overtaken and seen it was a hearse I put my hand up and carried on at a sane pace, rather than the aggressive one I went past them with. Its a small smidge of respect...
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Fat Angry Scotsman
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PostPosted: 10:18 - 29 Apr 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
xX-Alex-Xx wrote:
A burnout would be more appropriate if they're on their way to the crem Laughing


tervor saxe-coburg-gotha wrote:
should've gone up the nearside so you could be an undertaker


Fuckin' lol'd at both of these Laughing
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mentalboy
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PostPosted: 02:39 - 01 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Polarbear wrote:
Inconsiderate sod wasn't he. Dying and then holding up traffic.

It's something I'd do Angelic


Fuck me, if you consume the amount of rum that you say, you could leave a request for a month long tour of the UK's finest traffic spots and still not stink when they finally dispose of you. Laughing
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Andy_Pagin
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PostPosted: 23:38 - 11 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Makes me laugh when a stiff-wagon exits Enfield Crematorium and canes it down the A10 to collect the next carcass.
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Polarbear
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PostPosted: 01:41 - 12 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
mentalboy wrote:
Polarbear wrote:
Inconsiderate sod wasn't he. Dying and then holding up traffic.

It's something I'd do Angelic


Fuck me, if you consume the amount of rum that you say, you could leave a request for a month long tour of the UK's finest traffic spots and still not stink when they finally dispose of you. Laughing


So true Cool
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ThunderGuts
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PostPosted: 06:35 - 12 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Pete. wrote:
I always try to be respectful around funeral processions but if I found myself in the OP's situation I'd probably either about-face or do a little 'hat tip' gesture before pulling away.

Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:
I’d have went past it and gave no fucks. The cunts dead and your still alive with a life to go about living. I’d even drop a 21 rev bomb salute too. Laughing


If someone did that at one of my loved one's funeral I'd hunt the motherfucker down and burn their bike.


Agree fully (to both points). In all probability the hearse is probably the vehicle whose occupants are least likely to be antagonised as they're working, not mourning, but presumably to get there you'd have to ride past the family etc.. who would be less than impressed. I'd probably raise a hand and tip my hat or something, I'd also flip my visor up so I could make eye contact while doing so. I'd still feel a bit awkward though.

I suspect FAS's comments were in jest, but in all seriousness I'd be fuming if someone did that past me (although we don't do those sorts of processions in our family anyway - the hearse for my late grandma was just a black Ford Galaxy with blacked out windows). I'd probably not retaliate though as it wouldn't matter how much it annoyed me, I think it'd be even more disrespectful to react and escalate the situation. Maybe a shake of the head.
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Fat Angry Scotsman
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PostPosted: 11:29 - 12 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
ThunderGuts wrote:
I suspect FAS's comments were in jest


I thought more people would have realised that, I thought the "21 rev bomb salute" would have been an obvious joke Laughing
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ThunderGuts
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PostPosted: 08:44 - 13 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:

I thought more people would have realised that, I thought the "21 rev bomb salute" would have been an obvious joke Laughing


You'd have thought that wouldn't you. Laughing
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to v or not to v
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PostPosted: 20:32 - 13 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
Fat Angry Scotsman wrote:
ThunderGuts wrote:
I suspect FAS's comments were in jest


I thought more people would have realised that, I thought the "21 rev bomb salute" would have been an obvious joke Laughing


who can tell when youre dealing with a Jock Razz
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Skudd
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PostPosted: 20:44 - 13 May 2022    Post subject: Reply with quote
I was followed by an empty hearse today, followed for a bit too long for my liking.
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