Ex-Girlfriends

[Visitor Q]

Right this might be a tad of a mumbling rant, if so i do apologise.

Basically, i never (previous to this girl) have had a gf, im more then happy in the pull, shag, retain freedom cycle ive had for a few years.

Anyway i got to uni, and out of all the girls i met, only two of them seemed gf worthy, one of which turned out to be a git, and the other one is hazel. My now ex.

Now when i say gf worthyness i mean alot of things, but mainly the ability not to drive my nuts. Thats the long and short of it anyway. Being good looking, and not a complete slag helps too. But anyway im very fussy with gf's put it that way, hence why i havent had (m)any.

Anyway, managed to pretty much get her to see sense and end it with her muppet of a bf (he got her a pool simulator, pre-owned, still with the preowned £5 label attached for HER BIRTHDAY!), and shortly afterwards at the beginning of this year (06), about a week or so after we got back from christmas we were together and all was well.

But i (pretty much from the start) resented the implied terms of the relationship. Such as being nice to her gittish friends, having to book nights off, doing coupley stuff, not being able to just grab the odd mate to go out with because are afraid of threes a crowding.

Not only that i found myself just sitting in with her most nights, watching dvds. Now to get this in perspective, we do the same course, with the same lectures, we live on the same halls site, we go to the same clubs (there arent many here) so we never got any space from each other. Then the line of 'can i see you tonight' would come up. And id have to fight back the urge to point out id either been in lectures or milling between lectures with her all day.

And although she wasnt high maintenance parse, it could be a real pain in the arse trying to turn down 'suggestions' of a cosy night in etc as she really looked like someone nicked the jam out of her doughnut.

Anyway the easter break started looming, Hazel was having some personal problems so we rarely had sex, i was getting a fair few texts from girls back home 'asking me out for a pint' etc and i just started to realise it wasnt what i wanted.

I think the crunch argument -we had very few arguments to be fair, mainly because i happen to be very good at them, and she didnt. Or she gave up quicker- for me was when she was round watching a dvd. We couldnt have sex that night for japanese flag reasons ( ), and she'd been up since 7 and was looking completely shattered, and i had only got up at about 3 and i sleep very little too. I only have a single bed in these halls (grumble) and it was hot as hell for some reason in my room. She asked if she could stay, and i pointed out the above reasons and suggested, as she lived LITERALLY a 2 minute walk away she could go home and kip.

Tears etc, general needy shite, whinging about it just being about the sex, and then 20 minutes of me explaining shes an idiot in slow logical steps. Eventually it defused it. But it really pissed me off that something so obvious upset her so much.

Anyway, i went out on a night out with one of my mates (curiously it was originally to go bounce the guy that jumped me, but thats another story) and i have a bad thing for temptation. I managed to avoid killing this guy preferring a clean record (club was too empty to get away with it), so we went onto the really chavvy club no-one i know really goes to.

Therein i proceeded to get VERY drunk, and when i went over to warn a girl i very vaguely know that her boob was about to fall out of her top, she flashed me and then pulled me. Then i kinda went into quagmire mode trying to pull girls etc that night. Very nearly went home with one but decided im not THAT big a cock.

Anyway the next day i get the 'can you come over to talk' shite text, she bought up the fact i wasnt happy anymore with it and that id said i was worried about easter, so i used that opening to end things.

Now the problem is, hazel has absolutely no good friends. Her two close friends at uni are complete arseholes. One of which decided she would come along on a night out just me and hazel were going on (hazel was too polite to tell her to bugger off ) and asked to borrow a tenner off hazel, saying shed pay it back when the loans come in after easter (bare in mind this was feb time ish). Shes still not paid it back, even though she lives with hazel, and they even went shopping together yesterday. I even stuck a note on her door reminding her, and she just wrote 'but hazel owes me sex' and ignored it.
And the other one is such a cretin it doesnt even warrant explaining. But suffice to say im pretty much her only and best friend here.

Which is were the current quandry stands. She thinks she loves me, and still under the impression im going to change my mind some time soon (whereas i LOVED the freedom of easter, and that was without the ability to bring girls home -parents). It doesnt help that i went up to see her in easter, to be nice, and ended up shagging her .

Or the numerous times since being back here come to think of it. Ive tried explaining to her its casual, and if she cant do it without feelings she shouldnt. Obviously more crying etc, and every five seconds theres the offer to come over for company late at night cos she cant sleep (always ends in sex so im avoiding doing it now) or trips to the pub etc.

Now whilst i hoped things would get easier for her and i could start relaxing and enjoying uni, i cant because shes pretty much stalking me. Ive been told reliably she went to a rock night looking for me, and since then ive been very firm about finding out where shes going first.

I was proved right in doing this on our recent 'snail counting trip to aberfraw' () fieldtrip where i wanted to try and make some different friends and as it was working in groups of 8 ish i thought it would be a perfect opportunity.
But hazel decided she had to work with me, rather then just join a random group. So i still tried to distance myself a bit, give her a chance to talk to people to. Was talking to a girl i vaguely knew the whole way there (shes the girlfriend of one of my mates flatmates) and i tend to be very flirty by nature anyway.

Then i got the nice snide comments from hazel about flirting, and i found myself yet again bloody pacifying her. It seems all ive done since i got back to uni after easter. And while i like the girl, i REALLY cant be fucked anymore. It seems everything i do prompts some crying outburst or other.

Not to mention she has her network of spies everywhere, who found out about the midget (lol), and she came up with the gems of;
'why didnt you tell me about her'
Erm, cos it would upset you. Hey hun, guess who i fucked last night
'Ok, well if we are gonna keep having casual sex, i dont want you sleeping with other people'
Right... you explain the logic there.

Now the really irking thing is, shes basically taken over trash (the rock night) because her fat friend who's nicked her tenner goes there. And hazel tags along like a lost puppy. Shes also decided that because im shagging around, she should . And if you knew hazel youd know how retarded that is.

To summarise her first attempt, she went to a pub with about a fiver, pulled some guy whod bought her a shitload of drinks, and then wondered why he was unhappy when she suddenly decided not to go home with him
And when i pointed out if she kept trying that she'd end up in trouble, she decided i was just cynical and didnt know what guys are like

Bare in mind as well that the only time hazels mate act like mates is when i go to talk to her if i do see her out with her mates in whatever club i just happen to be in. Wherein they resort to dragging, 'subtle' toe stamping etc to get her away from me actually taking an interest in her not looking like her dogs died. And yet they happily leave her to it the rest of the night, they dont keep an eye out at all. They've left her on her own in clubs so many times its sickening.

They just take advantage of how nice she is, which is very distressing to see from her so called mates. They dont respect her at all.

But i guess what i just want to know is, what the fuck am i meant to do. I care about her still, in a friend/sex capacity, i just loathe commitment. As ive proved i think. Or maybe i hate people being dependent on me ALL the time.

And whilst the obvious answer is stop shagging her, theres still ALOT of sexual tension (she aint a bad looking lass, or a bad shag for that matter) which makes it hard to spend anytime alone with each other. Couple that with the fact we both discuss it, and i even point out you'll be upset, or she'll say cups of tea at mine are always more then just tea. She still comes back.

And my theory on mens minds is there are 3 states. Normal, Horny and post coital. Ie Normal, sexpest, loved up woman/child. So once it becomes obvious sex is on the cards, its hard not to think about it.

Which means i should go forth and shag other people. Except i still ended up sleeping with hazel the same day id woken up with the midget. And being seen wandering about with her all the time isnt helping the 'NO, we've split up, i AM single' conversations.

And because im nice and trying not to rub her face in it, i avoid flirting with girls id actually want to shag when shes about. And because shes following me about so much, that pretty much means everywhere.

It was nice last night because i was in a club i knew she wouldnt be in (since she hijacked MY rock night which she NEVER used to go to grumble grumble) and i just got to spend the whole night having a nice laugh with the girls. I infact only pulled one girl, and that was to get back the halo she stole off me. Bastard.

Anyway, what do you think.

And have a cookie for making it to the end.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[Visitor Q]

Ok, i need to see a shrink about this one. That post is inhumanely long.

Ok short version.

I see my ex too much.

She thinks she loves me.

Im still shagging her every now and then, with casual sex explained.

Shes following me about a fair bit.
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China traffic/travel bike vid - When I make a sweeping statement, please add the word 'statistically' in to the sentence before you bitch...
From September 2014 to January/February 2015 I will not be using any English, nor reading any. As such, I won't be on here. PM at will, but I won't be checking/posting unless in emergencies. Certainly not for the first couple of months. Please berate me savagely if I break that rule...

[craigie b]

If you keep throwing a bone to the dog then the dogs gonna keep coming back.

My god, thats a profound analogoy.

[Itchy]

Following your around fatal attraction style or not?

You could just kick the bucket and just sit her down and explain the old tested line

"its not you its me"

along with the I'm no good for you and I'll only end up hurting you , you'll be unhappy for a while but sooner or later you'll know it was for the best.

Since there was something explained a while ago that women are often OK about casual sex but many harbour a secret longing of love and a longer continued relationship (even a 10 pinter). Hence you are keeping her hopes alive that something may happen by regularly going back. Hence the sit down and talk about it dodging the issue and using her now and again to satisfy your knob ain't doing your any favours in getting rid and is somewhat exploititive of her in making her think you are the one or something and not allowing her to move on and find somebody else.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[EuropeanNC30R...]

If you put that much effort into your uni coursework you've got a guaranteed first mate!

[cagiva gezzer]

Bangor is a tiny place, this is the downside. You can't get away. Wait til the the third year when you've got an ex in every corner of Time / Occy / Main bar. That's when it gets hard work.

4 weeks and it's summer and it'll all be over and you'll be able to get some space.

The cute ones are always the Mad ones....
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"because one stroke isnt enough and four strokes waste two"

[cagiva gezzer]

[ZRX61]

I got about 1/3 the way thru that pile of bilge & the only advice I can give is to kill her & then throw yourself under a bus.

[Visitor Q]

[colin1]

You know the casual sex is killing her. If you can pull other girls, do that instead.

If you could set her up with a guy who would be more keen on commitment, she will move on.

She may be a bit resistant to this but its the best solution I can think of. The tricky bit is finding someone who she will like who will like her.

Probably best if you are friends only and speak to other only occasionaly. Total blanking might feel a bit too harsh.
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[MarkJ]

[JonB]

Give her a 98 R1 as a present.
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[Visitor Q]

[fast_tzr]

Fook, must say I did get confused by that insanely long post, as I read one point you made and thought of something to say about it, then by the next point I'd forgotten what I was gonna say
Basically, ditch the causal sex is all I can say, surely it cant be that tricky to go out and pull, only a few of nights without sex really.
Or I'll move there and take her off your hands

[yambabe]

You need to think like a woman.

She thinks the continuing sex means you love her really but you don't want to show it. She thinks if she just sticks with it she'll get you back "properly".

Stop the sex. Every time you shag her she thinks you really can't live without her. You've got to put her straight.

If you can be friends without the sex, great. If you can't, harsh though it is you'd be better cutting her out.

If she is sad enough to drop out of Uni and possibly screw over her future because of one lad, well maybe being there really isn't the best place for her anyway.

If you just want a casual shag then go out and get one. Don't worry about what she does cos it's not your problem.

You obviously do still have some feelings for this girl but that's not enough. If you don't love her and you're not ready for what she wants, you have to get out.
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Sod falling in love, I wanna fall in chocolate.

[killa]

[Irezumi aka Reuben]

Does this come in audio format or will there be a film so I can get to the end without becoming comatosed?
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Pictorgraphicalfantastical

[shellshock]

Leave the bloody girl alone - easy

[msgander]

[Visitor Q]

[Visitor Q]

haha, fucking women.

[Itchy]

Hold on , you dumped her via ICQ/IRC ? , harsh
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[Visitor Q]

[Itchy]

I notice something different these past few days no TobyR

anyway , just to compensate for his unknown absence:

PUNCH HER TITS
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[yambabe]