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craigie b
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PostPosted: 18:19 - 11 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Women who say derogatory things appear desperate and pathetic rather than laddish and perverted...


Laughing thats just your own predujice Wink It doesn't bother me, each to their own and all that stuff!

My biggest objection to the laddet is when combined with feminism. Its like 'Hey, we struggle for years for equality....And now we using it to show we can do all a mans bad traits as well as any guy'. But I suppose its a free country and all that.
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MementoMori
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PostPosted: 19:21 - 11 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, thanks a lot for all your replies so far, they've all been pretty interesting and most have restored my faith in the strength of men and women these days, although I do generally spend time with people my age who don't have the same insight as older people.

bonny_ricardo wrote:
And the thing that worries me are girls like you who are constantly out to prove they are capable of everything guys are.


Erm, not sure but I think you're assuming I think I'm capable of walking home alone in the dark. Having had a bad experience within my own home, I would same I'm more cautious than most when it comes to getting home at night. I don't appreciate the fact that some men abuse the fact they're stronger than women and that once the sun goes down a woman shouldn't have to fear. But they do, that's just how it is.

As a girl, I accept that I'm never gonna have the physical strength that some jobs require, and having previous problems trying to stay as thin as possible ( Rolling Eyes ) I'm about as strong as spaghetti.

Also, I think it's important for me to mention that I understand how bad things are becoming for men, yet as a woman, I can't really feel for men, only myself and I think it's fair to accept that currently, the majority of media pressure is on women. EDIT: I can feel for men to an extent, yet obviously can't put myself in your position. Sorry if the previous sentence sounded a bit insensitive.

It's a relief to know that most people can see through the media. I think I must just spend time with those who are affected by it, which is sod's law. It causes problems with my boyfriend in that I've started to resent him purely because he's a bloke and acts like a 'lad' around his mates yet is different when we have time alone together so he doesn't seem a very genuine person. I know how rediculous this may sound but I am sure this has something to do with the importance of bravado and freindly competition amongst male mates but when he saunters around like the dog's bollocks, swinging an arm over me, yet treating me so good when we're alone, it makes me question who he really is.

All the lads I spend time with are sound, it's just this cock-obsessed image being shoved in my face all the time pissing me off.

And I agree with the ladette culture. Women who walk and talk like crude men disgusts me. There's aspects of both sexes that I don't like. I think the good side to people is rarely shown these days and I haven't really been in the world long enough to experience when people were more... civilised... in a sense.

Right, now it's my turn to waffle and I've pretty much lost track of the point I was trying to make so I apologise, and thanks again for the great answers! Thumbs Up
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Last edited by MementoMori on 19:57 - 11 May 2006; edited 1 time in total
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colin1
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PostPosted: 19:56 - 11 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

im not sure this is the right forum if people talking crudely disgusts you.

if a thread has not work safe or NWS on it, dont look, you will be horrified and appalled

and if you are a female and post a pic of yourself, people will discuss whether or not they would do you. those who like you may express it crudely, and those who think your appearance is not to their taste will be even worse Smile

and even the females will have no sympathy for you if you get upset (poor bindy just wanted a bit of reassurance after being dumped)
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MementoMori
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PostPosted: 20:03 - 11 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

colin1 wrote:
im not sure this is the right forum if people talking crudely disgusts you.

and if you are a female and post a pic of yourself, people will discuss whether or not they would do you. those who like you may express it crudely, and those who think your appearance is not to their taste will be even worse Smile


With reference to your second quoted comment, I am guilty of having my pic posted, even if it was partially out of my control! Shouldn't have put that picture on my BikePics page of me on my bike lol. The comments however were all pretty typically male, yet none were too offensive. I took that as a laugh and tbh it made me feel a bit better about myself.

People talking crudely generally here is... OK, but when people make references to others as shit-cunts, bitches, bints and all that, I just don't think it's necessary. As Siggi would say, you wouldn't say it in real life so why do it on a forum.
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Cookie!
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PostPosted: 16:05 - 12 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

MementoMori wrote:
People talking crudely generally here is... OK, but when people make references to others as shit-cunts, bitches, bints and all that, I just don't think it's necessary. As Siggi would say, you wouldn't say it in real life so why do it on a forum.

I tend to say that kind of stuff to mates every now and then, male or female, don't see anything wrong with it.... just banter after all. Of course if I know certain people don't like it, then I won't say it to them.
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craigie b
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PostPosted: 21:39 - 12 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been considering this thread for a day or so and there was somethng bothering me which I couldn;t quite put my finger on so I didn;t bother trying incase I was misunderstood. But here goes.....


Quote:
I egt sick and tired of hearing guys going 'Oh, I'd do that...I'd put it right up there' in reference to an attractive girl. I have guys making derogatory comments, and I watch them gawp when I tell them I go to university and plan to lecture Classical Civilisations and become a doctor of it. Men can be utter twats...but....
I have a friend back at Mc Donalds (which I've left) who is the biggest pervert going. However, he dotes on his young daughter like she's the most important thing in the world, and knows where to stop, even if the situation is something he himself has insiunated. That makes him a good family man and a good partner, depsite his lecherous ways.


Right, here is the problem. You hear a random guy make a vulgar comment and you immediatly decide that you find it offensive so the guy must be a twat.

Yet on the other hand you have a good friend with good qualities. If you didn't know this though you would take offence at his vulgarity.

What does this mean? It means more often than not we see people in a very two dimensional way. If someone is vulgar you immediatly disregard any notion that they might have other great qualities and assume they are a cunt.

People (myself included) are terrible for this and its not often we see someone for what they are. All the people I know have good points and bad. If you didn;t know them you might think their arseholes (you'd probably think I a dick Laughing) and miss any opportunity to see deeper into their character and realise that they too have many good qualities.

Crash is an excellent film which conveys this sense of character judgement. A guy might commit a terrible act but then show a great act of compassion the next time. Does tis make him a cunt? Well yes it does, but it doesn;t stop him from being good as well. Nobody is a great person> Each and everyone of us has our moments of shame and moments of true greatness. It is hard to then honestly sum them up with a few words like 'good guy' or 'twat' because the truth is they are a mixture of both.

This actually relates to the original issue that MementoMori brought up with her worries from what she seen in the media. The media is incredibly two dimensional.

You see Kate Moss looking glamourous (bad example I know) and hip in channel advert and think 'god I wish I was glamourous' but the truth is her life is more fucked up than anyones, yet you would never realise this in an advert as the adverts only goal is to convey a message, not a multi layered, complex message of what that person is all about. The same with magazines and movies. It is not very often any thing in the media conveys people like they since that is not the mediums goal. The mediums goal is to entertain you, to sell to you, to tell you specific things and in real life this does not pan out as people are far to complex.
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nrml76
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PostPosted: 22:28 - 12 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Toby R wrote:
I find a real, curvy woman 100x more attractive than some airbrushed stick insect who doesn't know how to hold a conversation. Sometimes it's our imperfections that make us more attractive.


I'll second that! Razz
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Sephiroth
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PostPosted: 23:24 - 12 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll third it.
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zaknafien




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PostPosted: 23:42 - 12 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fourthed.
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colin1
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PostPosted: 01:56 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

i dont think there is any reason to assume that skinny birds arent real or are stupid and cant hold a conversation.

However I did make this daft assumption with someone on a course I was on. Even tho I thought she was slightly unpleasantly anorexic, she was great to talk to and clever. So I felt an idiot for assuming without thinking about it. I only realised my mistake quite late on in the course tho.
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Last edited by colin1 on 02:53 - 13 May 2006; edited 1 time in total
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zaknafien




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PostPosted: 02:28 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just like to add so there's no confusion I'm not agreeing with the stupid bit I'm agreeing with curves being far better than skin and bones.

Nothing worse than seeing ribs. Sick
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lozzypop1
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PostPosted: 02:29 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
However I did make this daft assumption with someone on a course I was on, and even tho I thought she was slightly unpleasantly anorexic, she was great to talk to and clever. So I felt an idiot for assuming without thinking about it. I only realised my mistake quite late on tho.


So what you're saying is that maybe it's not the girl who CANT think... But the bloke who DOESN'T think.... Thinking

An honest man (well sort of) I like it Laughing Thumbs Up
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colin1
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PostPosted: 02:55 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

i dont mind ribs, but thighes which seemed to be thinner than my arms were a bit disturbing.

Im probably exaggerating but you get the idea.
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craigie b
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PostPosted: 03:38 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sick The ethiopian look does nothing for me Laughing
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xlizx
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PostPosted: 13:34 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

But some girls can't help being skinny though! Just because a girl is thin doesn't mean she's anorexic or starves herself, or whatnot. I'm a size 6, my waist is 24 inches, and I eat more than my bloke does. I used to have eating contests at all-you-can-eats with my friends, don't anymore because I don't have time Sad
I get infuriated by people assuming a thin girl is a self abuser who makes herself throw up and that. I used to be in a class of larger people, all girls bar one, and all they talked about was the diets they were on and how they were going...then it was 'what diet are YOU on, Liz? Oh wait, you don't need to, because you're thin already!'. People can be so spiteful, and it seems to be larger people who obsess over their weight rather than skinnies.
Looks does't always mean there's nothing in your head...I'd rather be known for being intelligent and good at what I study than being attractive, looks only last a few years then you get saggy or fat, and wrinkles set in....unless I get senile dementia and start doing loopy things that is Rolling Eyes
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WavyGravy
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PostPosted: 15:09 - 13 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've yet to meet a woman who is 100% happy with her body, very few allow you to leave the light on during fun stuff! Shocked lol

There are beautiful thin women and stunning larger women, thank goodness that in the real (non advertising) world there are men who appreciate all types. As a man, to limit myself to those that had immediate 'wow' factor would mean a much less rewarding life, far more interesting than their looks is their reaction on knowing my dining room is full of bikes!
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colin1
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PostPosted: 01:42 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

WavyGravy wrote:
I've yet to meet a woman who is 100% happy with her body, very few allow you to leave the light on during fun stuff! Shocked lol



you have to be joking !

you have only been with women who have to have the light off ?
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colin1
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PostPosted: 01:45 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

xlizx wrote:
But some girls can't help being skinny though! Just because a girl is thin doesn't mean she's anorexic or starves herself, or whatnot.


the skinny girl i mentioned was into coke. that makes girls skinny

since i left a workplace where i met my ex, she said a few of them started on coke and have got skinny. not my ex tho
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WavyGravy
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PostPosted: 11:21 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
you have only been with women who have to have the light off ?


Suggest you read what i said.

and no I wasnt joking, i suppose my sexual experiences havent included taking advantage of drugged up junkies - or am I now not reading your contribution properly?

why try to score points off other contributors just trying to offer some help, it isnt that kind of thread
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senna_f4
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PostPosted: 14:29 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just my 2 Penny Coin Penny Coin ,

Adverts/media rarely represents reality.

In real life dominance depends more on dependence; for instance

1. If you & boyfriend go for a meal/drink if you always buy 50% of all times, expect equal powers, buy like 0% and generally you loose your say, overdependence, like to your parents for example(when a kid).

2. Same thing for rents, school fees for kids, etc 50%/50% is the best way out if you want equal footing, otherwise in real life people will gain dominace from dependence.

All men have different taste in women and vice versa, for instance I dont like any woman, but a broad likes of my taste is;

1. Not Fat or too thin.

2. I HATE piercings, a sure turn off for me (one pair of earings looks OK to me) all the lip stuff etc disgusts me. (I find people like that imature)

3. At least as intelligent as me.

4. looks aren't the most important thing but I wouldn't minda girl who looked like this,
https://www.vidasworld.com/

5. Character, you can have all this, but if you aren't understanding, forgiving person, I would despise the person, that is my own self.

6. Ability to give and take

the list goes on.

Like I said, the looks arents number one, but the person (character) is in any long term relationship.

I am sure every one here would have a differnt taste Mr. Green

What I say is go and live life as you like it.

DON'T let anyone take away the best part of you in order to conform to their beliefs, that is be yourself and hope for the best.

Hope it helps
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colin1
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PostPosted: 20:12 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

WavyGravy wrote:
Quote:
you have only been with women who have to have the light off ?


Suggest you read what i said.

and no I wasnt joking, i suppose my sexual experiences havent included taking advantage of drugged up junkies - or am I now not reading your contribution properly?

why try to score points off other contributors just trying to offer some help, it isnt that kind of thread


i didnt take advantage of the girl who likes coke and she wasnt a junkie. Cocaine is becoming quite a popular recreational drug. I only spoke to her a few times. Nothing happened between me and her at all.

im not scoring points I just think what you think is normal isnt.

I dont think that most girls will only have sex with the lights off, and I think that if most of the girls you have been with are like that, they are unusual not the norm.

Back to the original thread.

Its amazing how quickly a pretty girl starts to look ugly if she isnt very nice and its amazing how quickly an ugly girl starts to look pretty if she is nice.
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Flip
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PostPosted: 21:03 - 14 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

*Scratches sack and wanders off to get another beer*
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Reevo8
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PostPosted: 02:06 - 15 May 2006    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bendy wrote:
I feel like being a mouthy cow sometimes (compensating for being incredibly shy) instead of sitting quietly in the corner


Yeah, like calling me Sammygirl before I even knew who you were! Laughing

I dont see why there is a problem with having products which you can use to make yourself more and more attractive. I would love something like that if it didnt seem so gay of course.

I think difference is the attraction. I can be walking through town with a mate and point out my ideal girl whereas his ideal girl would be completely different looks wise of course we do not know them as a person but that doesnt matter, its lighthearted fun.

Blokes who say "Id shag that" are probably trying to make there mates laugh.

I like to make an effort and train as hard as i can to keep myself in shape. This is why I would not like an out of shape female, because it is something I dont get along with in a person. I think most women know what they want and as said previously by Loz, using there female charms will get them exactly what they want.

I think it is hard to judge what people like or dont like, and put the stereotyped 'lookers' down at all. It is all down to human nature and what you find attractive. I dont see how you can complain about the amount of 'beauty' products out there because when a person who does not know you from Adam looks across the room,if they dont find your look intriguing there's no way they will initiate conversation.

The look is what you see first, not the personality. Hense this be beautiful and healthy body era we are in. Because people want to be found attractive thy work hard at changing there image and losing weight to get down to a more attractive size. And wear the make up which makes them more attractive to the other sex.

It makes sense to me. You wanna look good then do something about it. If you dont you dont wanna change then just accept that people may or may not prefere the pretty party next to you.
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