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I got a wee bit scared earlier.

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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 01:57 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: I got a wee bit scared earlier. Reply with quote

My housemate has recently got herself her first car.

She passed her test before Christmas, but has only just got a car now, the only practice she's had between was in her dad's car. Which had an argument with a bus. And lost.

Anyway, earlier we went to ASDA to get some shopping. She insisted that she drove.

I accepted this, remembering the feeling that I had when I first passed my test.

By Christ did I regret it.

She complained a lot about the 'clutch being dodgy' which was her reasoning for the car's erratic movements at junctions.

I had picked her up from uni only this morning in it, and there was bugger all wrong with that clutch, it's 100 times easier to use than mine!

Anyway, it was pissing wet, and she decided to take a detour to Lewes (about 5 miles on the A27) to see if there were any jobs at Tescos.

I haven't been that scared in a long while.

Joining the dual carriageway, she moved straight out into the overtaking lane, giving one car no option but to undertake, quickly. She asked me if that was illegal. I pointed out that if there's room to undertake, she's in the wrong.

We then, eventually, moved back into the slow lane, at about 65 mph. At no stage did she reach for 5th gear, despite the obvious audible protests from the engine.

As the rain intensified, she put the wipers onto full blast.

"They're making a funny noise" she said, and put them down a notch. I could not see a bloody thing, but we carried on!

Then, when I leaned forward to sort the heaters onto the windscreen (at her request, I don't go messing with people's cars) my seatbelt pinged off.

I shit you not.

I put it back in, but was able to pull it free with disturbingly little effort. I might as well have not been wearing it!

Then we approached a roundabout. There was a red light, lots of cars stopped, and standing water between us. She didn't slow down. Seriously, not at all, until a little whimper of fear (implying she hadn't seen them) and very hard braking and a little bit of lock up at the end. It was closer than I was really comfortable with.

But that wasn't it.

Oh no.

Once the roundabout was navigated (during which she introduced me to a whole new interpretation of 'lane discipline') we were back on the dual carriageway, and for the first 100 metres or so, straddling both lanes.

The rest of the journey was relatively uneventful (mainly because my eyes were closed) but the way back was even more fun!

Approaching a large and well signposted roundabout from an NSL road, we had exactly the same situation as with the traffic lights, where she apparently failed to notice it until it was very nearly too late; cue more emergency braking, this time round a very tight bend.

The same again happened on the slip road off the A27, which has, yet another roundabout. Again, the panicked squeak from her, and some ridiculously late panic braking.

Shopping acquired, we get home, only for her to spend 15 minutes failing to parallel park in a fairly large gap.

Basically, I want some advice; I really don't want to get in a car with her while she's driving like this, but we always go shopping together, and I can't really politely get out of this.

I've considered offering her some hints and a kind of pass plus kinda thing, but I'm not sure if this would dent her confidence yet further.

As yet I've mentioned nothing to her, but I really do believe that at the current rate, an accident will happen.

And I don't want to be in the passenger seat with no bloody seatbelt.

Help!
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h00dwink
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PostPosted: 02:04 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

i think it's stupid that people will get into a car months, or even weeks after they've passed their test with little to no experience in between. they're incredibly dangerous, not just to themselves.
alas in their oppinion why should they when they have got a license? lessons are for people without one right?

tbh i'd be blunt about it if i were you. i hate being in the car with my friends that i know are shite drivers.
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 02:10 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

h00dwink wrote:
alas in their oppinion why should they when they have got a license? lessons are for people without one right?


In her defence she's not arrogant about it, she knows she's not very good, but she has so little experience/knowledge, that she doesn't know just how frightening that was for me!

I'm a very good passenger if I trust the driver, and most of my mates back in Essex (yeah, we are, to a certain extent, boy racers) are drivers whose judgement I would trust my life to without question, they take an interest in their driving, and indeed on improving their skills (much like bikers).

This is a whole new ball park for me...
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h00dwink
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PostPosted: 02:15 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, swing around the fact that if she does pass plus, most insurance companies will count that as a similar discount as a 1 years no claim.
coerce her into doing it. or break her car Confused
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MarkJ
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PostPosted: 02:32 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just say you aren't going passenger until she fixes the seatbelt, should at least buy you some time.

Other than that, I don't think there's really any other way around it other than telling her how it is. I'd have gone mental if I were there with the traffic light incidents, new driver or not traffic lights are hardly covered in camo are they. Sounds like you're insured to drive the car, so why don't you drive it instead of her?
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 02:43 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarkJ wrote:
Sounds like you're insured to drive the car, so why don't you drive it instead of her?


Embarassed

It was a favour to her as a one off because it was raining and she has no parking permit so it was an hour's wait at a bus-stop or an hour and a half walk home for her, and my car had fuck all petrol.

I'm not making excuses for myself here (well, I suppose I am), it was daft, but not something I make a habit of.

I've got my own down here though, I'm going to just insist that I drive in that; the seatbelt thing is a very good reason as well, and it wouldn't even really be an excuse; I was shitting it!
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Jamie S
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PostPosted: 02:55 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol good read Dave. well for starters get the seat belt sorted !
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 02:56 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

h00dwink wrote:
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, swing around the fact that if she does pass plus, most insurance companies will count that as a similar discount as a 1 years no claim.
coerce her into doing it. or break her car Confused


Possibly a good shout, but to be honest she's just not a good driver.

It doesn't, and I can't see it ever, coming naturally to her.

I struggle to understand how she could leave the car in 4th, it was actively annoying me even as a passenger, with much graver concerns at hand.

I can't really understand the situation, I've always been very good at picking things like this up, I get a feel for them very quickly; after 10 minutes on a geared bike (my first motorbiking experience) I was pulling away, and changing gears with very little conscious effort.

It worries me a lot that she's going to be driving around on her own. She's a very good friend and I care about her.
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strag
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PostPosted: 02:56 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tell her she's a shit driver (a fact she probably allready knows) and have a laugh about it. She has no experience, so what, she will get better. Don't knock her confidence, its probably shot to shit anyway!
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Jamie S
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PostPosted: 02:57 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

strag wrote:
Tell her she's a shit driver (a fact she probably allready knows) and have a laugh about it. She has no experience, so what, she will get better. Don't knock her confidence, its probably shot to shit anyway!


I agree!

So who is she your mistress ? Come on spill the beans.
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 03:27 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

strag wrote:
Tell her she's a shit driver (a fact she probably allready knows) and have a laugh about it. She has no experience, so what, she will get better. Don't knock her confidence, its probably shot to shit anyway!


She's a woman.

The conversation will go as such:

Her "I wasn't that bad was I?" *puppy dog eyes*

Me "Well............"

Her *runs off and cries*

I think I'll go with the seatbelt thing for now, but what to do when it's sorted!?!?!?! Shocked Shocked
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 03:28 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

jamie stokes wrote:
strag wrote:
Tell her she's a shit driver (a fact she probably allready knows) and have a laugh about it. She has no experience, so what, she will get better. Don't knock her confidence, its probably shot to shit anyway!


I agree!

So who is she your mistress ? Come on spill the beans.


I already said, housemate and close friend.
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Jamie S
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PostPosted: 03:36 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh thats me not paying attention, sorry
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killa
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PostPosted: 08:06 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wouldn’t worry, something’s going to happen to her and she’ll learn. Trust me.
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Luke_Retrofly
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PostPosted: 08:55 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

In gods name who let her pass her test?

Its all well and good hitting buses and cars, where she will come off just as bad/worse, but what about as poor bikers without a hope in hells chance?

Slap her about a bit mate, I would.

Rolling Eyes

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MarJay
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PostPosted: 09:07 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

killa wrote:
I wouldn’t worry, something’s going to happen to her and she’ll learn. Trust me.


Or she'll never drive again.

My missus was like that with the gears. She had only ever driven a car with four gears, and she has no idea what kind of noise the engine should make.

She has just recently started confidently using fifth gear, and she's had her peugeot for a year now.

To some people it isn't natural. Mechanical sympathy isn't natural.

My missus also didn't know that you could drop a gear to accelerate better and would sit on hills in fourth with her foot to the floor and the engine barely idling. When I said to her about her revving the nuts off of the car she immediately changed to using 1500rpm everywhere (on a 16v 1.4 Rolling Eyes).

As I said some people just don't get it.

She is much better now, and she is paranoid about hitting things and having accidents which is good, however she does have the tendency to panic.

If I were you I'd take her out in the car and just explain what you are doing as you do it. Obviously you need to come to an agreement that she needs to build up her skills and confidence, for example you need to explain that it doesn't matter that the windscreen wipers make a funny noise and what fifth gear is for when you are a passenger with her.

At that needs is for you to say something like "You've passed your test but you need to know a few things that they don't teach you before your test..." or something. Broach the subject, else she could be hurt or worse.
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Shaun
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PostPosted: 09:23 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kill her, may as well, she'll kill her self soon enough anyway, once she's sorted out we'll sort out Marjays Mrs as well. Some women do nothing to help the stereotype that women can't drive, I have met more than one female who could drive perfectly well (3 I think).
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 14:44 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

killa wrote:
I wouldn’t worry, something’s going to happen to her and she’ll learn. Trust me.


That's what I'm worried about!

It will just dent her confidence even further, making her an even more nervous and panicky driver, and that won't help!

Oh, yeah, also found out she has done pass plus. Shocked
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 14:49 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

MarJay wrote:
If I were you I'd take her out in the car and just explain what you are doing as you do it. Obviously you need to come to an agreement that she needs to build up her skills and confidence, for example you need to explain that it doesn't matter that the windscreen wipers make a funny noise and what fifth gear is for when you are a passenger with her.

At that needs is for you to say something like "You've passed your test but you need to know a few things that they don't teach you before your test..." or something. Broach the subject, else she could be hurt or worse.


Is that what you did with the missus? Did it work?

This is basically along the lines of what I was thinking, I'll get her to take me out and talk me through what she's doing, then I'll do the same, and hopefully she'll notice the differences, and realise that there's really not that much to it.

*Plans route in head*
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Annabella
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PostPosted: 15:51 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just try talking to her while you're in the car with her.

Ask her questions about what is going on ahead, what she can see around her and encourage her to keep her observation levels mugh higher than she appears to be at the moment.

Rather than 'telling her' what to do by asking questions hopefully it will make her think a little more about what is going on around her, and in time it will become a habit.

When I first started to drive I used to do a running commentary, for example "There are traffic lights ahead, they're currently green. They may change so I'll check what's behind me. Nothing behind, so I can stop if I need to. I'm slowing down in case the lights change. Now I can't see around this bend, I'm dropping down a gear and slowing down in case there is something stopped on the corner" etc.

She's clearly very nervous about being on the road (probably another reason why she wants you in the car with her) and maybe this boring mantra will help her feel more relaxed and calm as she's driving.
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Dave McCool
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PostPosted: 16:04 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Annabella wrote:
When I first started to drive I used to do a running commentary, for example "There are traffic lights ahead"


This is a large part of the problem, she didn't seem to see these things!

Yeah, I will try this with her though, do you reckon it would be a good idea to do the same while we're in my car, I consider my observational skills to be pretty good, and she might learn something, or will this just make her think she's even more useless?

Were you a proper nervous driver when you started then?

Is this a woman thing? (no offence Wink )
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Annabella
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PostPosted: 16:10 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't nervous at all, never have been... but it was a technique my mum was taught when she was learning to drive (She worked for Goodyear and had driving lessons from Jackie Stewart and Graham Hill).

Maybe start with her in the passenger seat of your car. It's possible she has been a passive passenger most of her life and just isn't used to paying attention to where she is going. I don't see why it should make her feel more rubbish - it should help boost her confidence when she gets into her own car.
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Blackrhythms
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PostPosted: 16:13 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know if it's a 'woman' thing as such, but I was nervous when I first started driving a car. But that was more to do with the fact that I was riding a bike long before I drove a car. I found it hard to get my head around the idea of all the metal surrounding me, and I tended to 'hug' the ditch because I felt too close to the white line! With experience I got over that.

I was always aware of my surroundings though, and maybe that's from needing to be so observational on the bike. Annabella's idea of the mantra as she's driving is a good one and could well help tune her in more to what's going on around her. And I think it'd also be a good idea to do it while you're in your car. Then she's a passenger and will have the time to properly observe without having to also concentrate on the whole 'driving' thing.
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Simple
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PostPosted: 17:10 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hehe
that made me laugh, friend at uni just gor her first car, she's not bad. Her observations are good and her lane disciplin too but her parking.. o god her parking... I cringe watching, I help her as much as I can before I offer to park the car for her.. which afaik is illegal as I have no license.

I see so many, mainly girls at uni in brand new cars doing 60 million point turns, each time they reverse the nearly hit the car they're infront off and each time the move foward the barely move... so go no where fast..

on more than one occasion i've gone over and offered my judgement of the space they are not using, perhaps at the risk of losing my legs and being to blame if she should lerch and smack a car she is near...

I honestly think they dont realize how bad they are unless someone points it out..

you've got to say something before she kill you, someone else or herself...

her car sounds like a death trap anyway.. does it actually have an MOT?

Simple
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Phoenix
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PostPosted: 18:35 - 14 Feb 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

A non working seatbelt is an MOT failure, however it could've happened since the MOT, or the inspector didn't give it a good tug when he tested it.

You're stupid to get in a car with her just to stop her from getting upset, you'll feel really stupid if you end up in a big smash because of her crap driving and non working belt. You know her better than anyone here so I think you ought to be the one that decides how best to sort out the situation. But it sounds to me like she could do with a good few hundred miles of solo driving without any passengers or radio to distract her, not seeing stopped traffic or red lights after just passing her test, a time when you'd be at your most cautious and aware, is apalling, her examiner/instructor should be shot.

And Anna, I've just been put through a defensive driving course, and the running commentary idea is something I was made to do, so it's a recognised technique to get you aware of everything going on. It's just a slightly exaggerated version of what you should be doing in your head, rather than out load all the tim you're driving. I personally feel like i do it more on my bike as there's not music on or people to talk to so I get bored and talk to myself in my head, usually about what I see (be it idiots or the crap road surface etc).


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