Wanking now illegal in Nazi Britain

[Ariel Badger]

https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7098116.stm
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[Shaun]

I was talking about this yesterday.

The guy shouldn't have pleaded guilty, probably wanted to try and keep it quiet though. Fact is though he was pleasuring himself how he saw fit behind a locked door, not in the street, it was the cleaners who let themselves in, they weren't invited.

Is this just another case of if someone breaks into yourself and gets hurt by your faulty kettle then they can sue you, now, if you pleasure yourself and someone breaks in and catches you at it you get put on the sex offenders register.

Yet another case where common sense was totally ignored.

[powelly]

i think one of the worrying things about this story is that the guy has been placed on the sex offenders register for 3 years!

This really waters down the accuracy of the sex ofenders list, what should be a list of rapists and peadophiles now includes people caught having a wank in the privacy of a locked room.

https://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm
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Yamaha RXS 100 > Gilera Runner 50 > Suzuki SV650SY

[st3v3]

[Ariel Badger]

He has had many work oportunities shut on him forever because of the sex offenders register. He has been deprived of his human rights by this stupid case. I bet there is not one of us here that has not commited a similar "offence" at some time ( Ok maybe not with a bike) are we all to be made criminals?
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Yoko]

That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!

Fucking hell my balls are gonna ache next week, I'm working away and in a hotel for a week
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Sheep Shagger

[Teaman]

Thats seriously wrong. ok so he was having sex with a bike, how? I don't even want to know, but if he's in a hostel theres a reason why and staff imo should be allowed access to his room at any time if they feel that he is at risk. now as he was commiting said act behind a locked door he wasn't doing anything worng to anyone else.
I think some people should respect other peoples privicy. its not just his job prospects that have been ruined, it's his life.


the "OI your that bloke who shags bikes!" and other things every time he walks out of the door.

poor git.

he could on the other hand get some sponsorhip with a T shirt saying " I RIDE RALEIGH"
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There is no point in ranting about someone stupid because there is nothing u can do about it. There is no cure for stupid.
Someone stupid does not realise they r stupid.stupidity is indistinguishable from malice U just have to accept that some people are thick as p1gsh1t and work around them.

[trevoriv]

I tried doing the same to my bike but it said it was two tired.
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Past: '96 Thundercat, '02 ZX636R (A1P), '58 KTM 690 SM LC4 Current: '06 ZX636R (C6F)
Mudskipper wrote: Someone just has to sig that...

[powelly]

oh god a photo of him in the act has turned up on the internet...
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[scorps]

i was wondering how abused that pic would become

back serious again thoug, the same ruling could apply to say a young lady having a bit of fun with a cucumber etc, its an absolute farce in my opinion and i do hope there is an appeal and the sherrif gets his fingers wrapped for being such a moronic twat
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Do not presume that I am male.

[colin1]

an ex did utter the immortal line "you love that bike more than you love me, so why dont u go outside and fuck it"

she was cross serious too, but i had to laugh

lol

seriously though, women have been having sex with inanimate objects for thousands of years, and recently they even require batteries, so i think the cleaners were being a bit hypocritical

i think that in future nosey cleaners should knock first
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colin1 is officially faster than god

[cqueen]

If the guy wants to shag is bike then let him, He's not harming anyone but himself. Like Colin said, women have been using all kinds of objects for donkeys years. Why is this any different?

[Ariel Badger]

So what exactly are you allowed to nob in Scotland?
Your wife?
Your girlfriend?
Your boyfriend?
Your fist?
One of these https://www.sextoys.co.uk/Masturbators.asp
This is the most ridiculous piece of "justice" I have ever heard.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[king kong]

Was it a Chopper

[Visitor Q]

I must say the double standards about wanking drive me nuts.
All blokes and most women wank.
Everyone knows women who proudly rant on about their vibrator and how wonderful they are.
Name one guy who goes on about his plastic twat...?

Not just that, i dont think any guy would freak about finding his gf's vibe, but i doubt you'd see a girl again if she round your inflatable doll etc.

I've had hotel staff walk in mid wank/shag before. Bastards.
Their excuse is you should have 'dont disturb' signs (in spanish its 'no molestar'
Id take it as an occupational hazard/perk (depending on who you are) and leave it as that.

But as said, poor fucker. They even admitted they used a master key to get in.

I had a mate in first year who nearly got kicked out cos halls security banged on his door in the morning. He was pretty groggy still and answered with his cock hanging out of his boxers.
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[Hetzer]

The sheriff needs his teeth punched down his throat, never mind the worthless trash that arrested him, charged him and prosecuted him. Absolute insanity. The staff, pathetic whining trash that they must be, should have been apologising to him profusely.

But it's that good old UK disease again, taken to a level of such utter absurdity that it almost makes your mind bleed...BAN CULTURE. Yep, it's official, you are no longer allowed to have sex with an inanimate object in the privacy of your own locked room.
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[LeeR]

My Dyson's gonna think I don't love it no more...
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[Ste]

He's not the first to be prosecuted for trying to have sex with inanimate objects....

KARL WATKINS, 20, appeared at Hereford Crown Court in February 1993 on five counts of outraging public decency: in particular, making love to pavements. Watkins claimed it was a case of mistaken identity, but he was fingered many times as the man found face down on the paving stones with his pants round his ankles. One boy told of seeing Watkins's bare backside moving up and down, while a mother said she was shocked to see a group of children gathered round him. He also attempted to mount an underpass. How he passed the time during his 18 month jail sentence is far from clear.

Watkins was back in court in April 1995, on charges of simulating sex with black plastic dustbin bags in front of teenage schoolgirls. He revealed a nine-year fetish with the plastic sacks, centred on the "feel and touch of the bin liners". He went out at night to spend his time in rubbish piles, and had been found in wheelie bins, and even in the back of dust-carts. His ultimate sexual fantasy was to be in a dust-cart when the bin bags were crushed. Convicted of outraging public decency, he was put on three years' probation and ordered to seek psychiatric help.


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However, people will be relived to know that sex with a doll isn't a crime.

[JonB]

Making love to pavements?

Don't tell me he tried the old trick of "On a hot summers day, I saw the sun beating down on that sleeky, black tarmac. It then turned wet and I rogered it a goodun'."
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Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it?s worth.

[GodzGift]

Anyone up for a mass protest outside number 10 whilst wanking?
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[Jaloopa]