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Shaun
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Joined: 17 May 2003
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PostPosted: 22:21 - 19 Jun 2007    Post subject: A dilemma Reply with quote

A bit of a background story first, my little brother is in year 5 of school currently and has had learning difficulties for a while, namely dyslexia. Now over the past year or so he hasn't really progressed much so the bods above started to wonder whether it's something else bothering him as well.

He's got to go see a bloody psychiatrist to try and assess if he has any personal problems. In the last few years in a relatively short space of time my dad left, then my sister, then me. Recently he's cried and asked why I don't go around as much as I used to which is simply because I have a lot on, work, social life etc.

Now if the psychiatrist says me leaving has put my bro under a lot of stress etc I'm going to be gutted! I'll be moving back home for a month or 2 in september but I'm starting to wonder whether I should go back on a permenant basis if it's going to settle him a bit but now I've had a taste of living away from mummy I really don't want to. Neutral

I've not thought about it much but from his perspective his family has fell apart and left him, aparrently he's got bugger all confidence when in school and he's now cried on more than one occasion saying he misses me, wtf am I supposed to do, I don't want to move back home but feel like I should if it'll help him.

Gah!
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M1ke
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Joined: 11 Jun 2002
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PostPosted: 22:39 - 19 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

How can you claim sitting on bcf every day after work as a social life?

Go spend an hour or 2 every week with your brother, you only live 10 min up the road.
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BanditBitch
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PostPosted: 22:59 - 19 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now you have made the break and left home, I dont think moving back would help in the long term.....because your little brother would have to go through it all again, at some point. So its probably better that he learns to adjust now.

We had a similar problem, when my eldest son left home our second son who was around 11 at the time, took it quite badly although, I never thought they took much notice of each other.. I was wrong.

My eldest lives quite a good distance away, so doesnt visit often, however he does text his younger brother most days now...and that seems to help. So if your little brother has a phone, maybe try texting him often, asking him what he's been up too etc...its something he can do , that doesnt involve parents, so he will feel quite grown up about it , also he will feel like he is included in your life and not feel pushed out or abandoned.
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thegubner
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Joined: 25 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: 23:22 - 19 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good old fashioned writing might help as well, I don't mean e-mail, a proper handwritten letter is a nice thing to receive and makes you want to reply and gives you something to think about.

Even if you only live up the road it can still be a nice thing.

And it would have the added bonus of giving him practice reading and writing for his dyslexia without being in a school environment.

Cant think of much else, hope this helps.



Andy
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st3v3
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Joined: 16 Oct 2006
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PostPosted: 19:00 - 20 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does he like the bike? might help him feel better/bigger more comforted if you take him out some time, not only are you in contact, but he's close to you and it's an experience that will make him feel good inside, the kind that when some-one pops round, you stay home in wait etc and he may start improving at school with added confidence my 2P Thumbs Up
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djr
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Joined: 09 Nov 2003
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PostPosted: 21:20 - 20 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

st3v3 wrote:
Does he like the bike? might help him feel better/bigger more comforted if you take him out some time, not only are you in contact, but he's close to you and it's an experience that will make him feel good inside, the kind that when some-one pops round, you stay home in wait etc and he may start improving at school with added confidence my 2P Thumbs Up


Careful now, don't wanna teach the poor lad too many bad habbits =D Razz
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 22:31 - 20 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have a good heart shaun. Cant your brother come and stay with you every so often? maybe do more things together and talk to him more. it may help with differant surroundings.

My brother lives with me also and has learning difficulties and my mum and dad moved out into a new house and i took him on, I couldnt see him also out on his own.

It would be good to move back in if you could handle living with your mum and loosing some of your freedom. But you would be doing your brother the world of good and would be an unselfish caring thing to so.


Just remember you have a life to.
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hellkat
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PostPosted: 22:38 - 20 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw, bless.

Yeah, bring him to stay round your gaff sometimes. Even if he kips in with you, or on the sofa, you'll get the sort of quality time with him that it sounds like he needs, and maybe you can tutor him a bit with the school stuff he's having trouble with, make it into fun times with his big brother, rather than school stuff.

Might give your mum a bit of a break, too.
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yambabe
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PostPosted: 23:21 - 20 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

What the others are saying, but in a nicer way than M1ke put it!

Going back for a month or so later in the year is all well and good but no, you shouldn't go back permanently just for the sake of your little bro.

You should make some time for him though. Have him stop over at the house, go to see him, that sort of thing. Maybe arrange some activities with your mates or Becky that he could tag along to? Theme park, bowling, swimming, footy in the park, that sort of stuff. It's amazing how many people will have acess to kids of a similar age for a fun day out if you ask around. And you CAN have fun with young uns if you approach the occasion with the right attitude!
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 20:25 - 22 Jun 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any update?
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Willow
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Joined: 06 Nov 2006
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PostPosted: 12:10 - 03 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

dragonfly wrote:
Any update?


We took him to this on sunday,

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=118903

He seemed to enjoy himself Very Happy
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Dragonfly
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PostPosted: 12:56 - 03 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry, but only users granted special access can read topics in this forum.

sorry cant view it. Crying or Very sad
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He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.
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Willow
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PostPosted: 13:10 - 03 Jul 2007    Post subject: Reply with quote

dragonfly wrote:
Sorry, but only users granted special access can read topics in this forum.

sorry cant view it. Crying or Very sad


Having one of those days, Embarassed , think before i do things would be a good idea.
Basically it was a event about the new test coming in with a stunt show after, and lots of stalls where he could pick up some free things Smile
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