Stupid things your parents used to tell you

[NinaMarie]

Basically what it says on the subject

What did your parent tell you to prevent/encourage you from/to doing something

my mum used to always tell us:
'always wash your fruit because the people who pick them have hand there hands up there bum'

Also, when i was younger used to like to sit in the bath until it was empty so she used to tell me:
'If you don't get out then you will get sucked down the plug hole'

And told me not to go on the next block 'because there is nasty people that will kidnapp you'

She doesn't half have an imagination on her
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CBR125R

[hellkat]

Yeah, I got told if I didn't eat my crusts, my hair would not be curly.
Well I didn't, and it fuckin' is now!!!

And also that if I didn't eat my greens, I wouldn't have strong teeth (wtf?)

So when, as a mother, I could inflict such aphorisms on Anita, I told her if she didn't eat her greens and crusts, she wouldn't have curly teeth and strong hair, LOL.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[dodsi]

"You will be fine sleeping over at micheal jacksons house"

[killa]

My mum was fine, she always gave me good advice......whereas my mates mum who didn't like me had a few choice things she'd like to say to me.

"Wall sockets taste fruity"

"Poke big dogs in the eye as a show of affection"

"Chocolate cake makes you big and strong"

"Needles at the end of our garden are fairy swords"



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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[Whosthedaddy]

'Stop touching it, it'll fall off'
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Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy

[Dragonfly]

That sound from the ice cream man means he is out of ice cream. He is just telling everyone that way.

you keep making faces like that and the wind will change and you will stay like that.

I dont know how i got this next idea but I used to think the kids in Africa lived down the sink and i would run the water for them so they would have clean water. I think my parents told me that as they didnt have clean water there or something
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Louise]

[Handsome]

My Mom tried the " Swear and I'll wash your mouth out with soap " trick, so I went and fetched the soap and did it myself in front of her and my Auntie and Uncle, needless to say my Uncle pissed himself laughing and got a bollocking...She never bothered with that one again...
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[hellkat]

[hellkat]

I never understood the Starving Children in Africa thing.

How is me eating all the food on my plate and becoming a fat bastard going to make them less starving?

You know when you get told that and you sit there in sulky pre-teenage silence thinking "Dish me out less food. Send it to Africa if you're so fuckin worried".

And don't make me eat desserts that consist of jam roll with home made melon and ginger fuckin jam in it

God, that was a meal which seemed to last forever. Even my mother left the table, and came back several times to see whether me and my two sisters had eaten the damn stuff yet.
It were fookin disgoostin, Mrs.
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[hellkat]

Then she had to put us all on Weightwatchers when I was 16 anyway.



I love her really, my mum, bless
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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Handsome]

Used to goad her aswell if I was getting my arse slapped, when she'd finished she'd say " Have you had enough? " and I'd say " No, is that it ? " so I'd get some more then she'd threaten me with my Dad and I though fuck that he hits harder than you...LMFAO...

* And before the PC Police jump on the fact that my Parents used to slap my arse ( my Mom still would if she could catch me ) it never did me any harm and it'd benefit the little fuckers that run around today getting away with murder like they do! *
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[hellkat]

LOL I quite agree.

ASBOs would not be necessary if they had my mum running after them with a wooden spoon Used to annoy the hell out of me that she was an athletics star at school, I could never run fast enough to get away, and she broke many wooden spoons on my arse and legs.


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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

[Handsome]

Also remember the " This wont hurt a bit " then you'd scream like fuck...
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Previous Bikes...Honda NSR 125 RR...Kawasaki Zephyr 550...Suzuki SV 1000 S...Yamaha FZ8...Current Bike...Suzuki GSX-R 750...

[Zen Dog]

My Dads new wife has taught her children some delightful things, among them is the classic...

Mum - "What happens to children who chew their hair?"
Child - "They die."

But then, her kids are pretty mental. One of them, upon being asked what her latest painting was of, replied "It's the toadstool that Jesus died on..."

Zen Dog
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Current - '94 VFR750FR (Dead), '00 VFR800FI, '11 600 Hornet - Previous - '11 CBF125, '10 Street Triple R, '92 MZ ETZ301, '05 TTR250, NSR125R, KMX125, "Honda" Win
My bike trip around S.E. Asia 2010/2011

[dodsi]

[Whosthedaddy]

When you've been naughty and they say

'Come here, I wont tell you off'

Sheepishly walk towards them, get into arms length, a sudden grab of the arm and a smacked arse followed by

'I told you not to...'

Sames as the 'this wont hurt a bit' when cleaning a cut or graze.

Damn parents lie through their back teeth.
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Current : MSX 125 Past : CBR 900RR Monkeybike : c50 LAC : ZXR750 H2 : FZR600 : ZX7R P3 : YW100 : TRX850: Trophy 900 T309 : GSXR 600 L0: Monkeybike : XJ6S Whosthedaddy

[tokarev]

"If you don't clean your ears then spuds will grow inside them."

I can't believe that I believed that!

[D O G]

[gemma1675]

We'd go somewhere and my Dad would go to get out of the car and I would ask where he was going. The answer was always to see a man about a dog. So I spent most of my childhood on tenterhooks waiting for our new dog, only to have my hopes dashed when Dad returned empty handed. Time after time that one got me.
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Suzuki SV650S K5

Nobody puts baby in a corner

[Fisty]

I one tripped hurting my arm quite badly, went to my mum and told her I had broken it. she looked at it and said " It would hurt more if it was broken, its only a sprain" and put a bandage on it.

After 2 weeks of complaning she took me to the hospital. Turns out it was broken in 2 places.

It would hurt more my arse.
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[Cigaro]

[Dragonfly]

Bassjunky i had some mad ideas when i was a kid.

was also told if you eat seeds and pips from fruits things like melons and oranges would grow in your stomach.

Then my dad told me once when i my baby sitter painted my nails that it was highly flammable , my mum had me crying in the bathroom cause i thought my hands where going to go on fire if i didnt get it off so she was scrubbing away cause we had no polish remover. I was afraid of nail polish for years after that.
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All the breast.
Muzza on Binge:
He's too busy beating the everloving shit out of Lizzie to notice this thread has taken a turn down Drama Avenue and stopped off at the popcorn shop.

[Edicap]

"Playing with yourself makes you go blind"

Liar, 15 years later and I've still got 20/20 vision
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Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in one pretty and preserved piece, but to slide across the line broadside, thoroughly used up, worn out, leaking oil, shouting GERONIMO!!!

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[NinaMarie]