Stupid thing thread

[Scotch Bonnet]

Well, i did a search and it doesn't look like we've had one for a couple of months, so what's the most recent dumb thing you've done on yer bike?

I thought i'd managed to do the impossible and killed a CG, was spluttering and really struggling any time i gave it too much throttle.

I'd actually just left the choke on. made it all the way home before spotting it, too.
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Hmmmm..... is it supposed to do that?
2001 CB500

[MattHirst]

Well this morning i did the most embarassing thing (i guess 99% of us have done it to) and couldn't start my bike.

10 mins later of pressing the button and kicking it over my dad shouts 'kill switch still on?'

Git, i never leave it on, maybe he did it on purpose

Edit - about killing a 125, i blew the gearbox on a suzuki gz125 if that counts. Although i did used to rag the fuck out of it everywhere, you should of seen me on the twisties in the dales/lakes
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It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt, then it's bloody hilarious!!!

[Tristan.]

Duel carriageway yesterday, the fast lane abruptly slowed to about 60, so I went through the middle, since it was empty road ahead of the cars in front of me, got to the head of the small bit of traffic using slightly inapropriate speeds and saw the cause of the slowdown in my rearview, a police transit in the slow lane

[Eddie Hitler]

I put unstrained chicken fat into my Jawa model 623 (Thankyou Stinkwheel).

[Philious]

Lol that makes me feel so much better about my one,

my old mtx 125, i premixed the 2 stroke oil with 50% sunflower oil when I was working part time cause I was broke.

The thing never siezed and still runs to this day.
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Previously; Honda XR125 - Yamaha DT125r - Aprilia Rs125 - Suzuki GS500e, Currently; Kawasaki ZX6R + ZX10R
Theory : Passed 28/7/09 Module 1: Passed 21/09/09 Module 2: Passed 23/09/09

[Ben.]

forgot tp take this disc lock off this morning... outside college, where they all laughed
managed to fall under the bike and take the full force of the damage though
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follow my racing season
Race bike - R6
Road bike - sv650

[5v3d3b0]

I went past some friends accompanied by some HOT girls, so I did a sexy little U turn and started chatting a little like where you going for lunch etc. I then did another U turn, also rather sexy until I found a car screeching and drifting into my fuckin face! Stopped about 3 inches away

[Ariel Badger]

I dipped my nob into the petrol tank of a Velocette when I was about 14 hoping it would feel nice.
It did not feel nice and all the skin peeled.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Ariel Badger]

Sorry. I missed the word "recent". 35 years is not recent except in geology.
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[5v3d3b0]

[Eddie Hitler]

[Ariel Badger]

No but the buggers did cut my foreskin off for some reason or other. One does not like to ask ones mother why she cut the end off ones cock does one?
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Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Fahd]

[5v3d3b0]

[Fahd]

[Eddie Hitler]

[Stelmer]

That Hyosung I hired has a feature where it won't start unless you pull the clutch in.

Took me ages to figure it out.

Another one is forgetting about the side stand and putting it in first only to have the engine cut out

[Jamie S]

Lost the mixture screw off my TLR, ordered one today off Dave Silvers, £14.

[Stelmer]

I got another one which happened in Wales.

U turn on a green lane too busy looking where I was wanting to go to rather than where the front was going.

front wheel went in a muddy drainage ditch promptly followed by the rear and then me as it was deeper than I expected.

Took ages to get the bike out. Naturally the guide returned after i had done most of the hard work.

[McGee]

I pulled up to some traffic lights in neutral, and went to put my left foot down then changed my mind half way through and went to put my right foot down.

So the bike down the gay little side to side dance and nearly fell over while I had both feet half way down
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Its pronounced Jixxer!

[Seb]

My two favs:

Doing a U-Turn whilst lost on some random moorland back road, my tankbag nudged the killswitch just enough to trip it, took me a good 10 minutes of head scratching to figure out wtf had happened to kill it

Funniest one looking back was stopping at the roadside and promptly slipping whilst pulling the phone out of my pocket, I just slowly and smoothly went straight over into a nettle bush and mudbank
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2010 Triumph 1050 Sprint ST

[kitty kat]

[Polarbear]

Following someone up the motorway who had a case of beer strapped to his seat. The shrink film stuff started to shred and he was depositing full cans of beer down the motorway like laying mines.

After attracting his attention we pulled onto the hard shoulder. I was laughing so much I forgot to put the side stand down. I didn't notice it until the bike was too far gone for me to pull it up and it sank into the grass verge pinning me under it

I had to wait for my mate to stop laughing and lift the bike off me
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Triumph Trophy Launch Edition

[metcarf]

engine started to splutter the other day going down a hill. I had just filled the tank, so i wasnt out of fuel.
Pulled over and scratched my head a little. tried the ignition so much my battery ran flat, spent haf an hour running up and down the road like a blue arsed fly trying to bump start it then in my frustration unscrewed the carb adjustment screw to give it a heaftier mixture. bad idea, it fell out. Had just sprayed my bike the day before and hadnt put the tool kit back in, so couldnt take the tank off to put the screw back in.
Ended up having to phone the breakdown people (the shame). came after an hour and a haf and we took the tank off to find the fuel line disconeceted.... had forgotten to attach it after painting the tank.

schoolboy error. 3 hours wasted. felt like a complete tit.
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i love my honda
cbr 600f-m

[krebsy]

More of a WTF moment. In a rush to drop the house keys off and get over to the new Gaff last week. Heading into town to the estate agents and "hoonin'" it a little I managed to leave the braking a little on the late side, stamp on the front and rear and then felt the rear lock and slide. sat their like a numpty as the bike ploughed on in a straight line thinking "what now?" rather than letting off the rear and controlling it better. Felt the engine fight the rear brake so eventually pulled in the clutch. Slid to a halt (crossing into the empty right lane), sat there for a few seconds then got my head together and "proceeded normally".

Just a total Brain fart right in the middle of lunchtime traffic.

Though, did see a top Rat bike outside the estate agents office..

K.
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What's my New Year's resolution?

1280 x 1024.