I let a grey haired man hold my penis and finger probe me.

[Ariel Badger]

My inner thigh injury has not been healing well since my recent off, in fact a very slight stubbed toe put so much pain into my groin that I had to be sat down in a quiet office at school for a swearing session and a nice cup of tea. I promised that I would go and see the Dr (if I did not the behaviour assistant said she would see the Head and get me sent home). Any way I made an appointment for this morning.
First problem was pants,I knew that the Dr would want my trousers off, and I do not like wearing pants. All I could find was some red jobs but the elastic in the waist had gone and they had stains, and a couple of pairs of girls nicks that had been left behind by their previous owners. ASDA sells man pants but only in packs of 6, 7 I could understand as one per day of the week but 6? Maybe there is a bit in the Bible that says you should go to church with your bollox swinging free, I would not know as I am not religious.
I settled on 6 pairs of "Smart price men's brief" for £3 and put a pair on for school this morning, at 9.30 I rode to the Dr's. I have known my Dr for many years, he is the same age as me but now has greying hair. Best thing about him is that he is an adrenalin junkie, he understands that bikes are in my blood and injury is part of life.
After explaining the crash and injury I took my boots and trousers off, he examined me standing and then told me to get on the bed. My leg was pulled around and generally hurt, he then told me to pull my pants down. The first thing he did was jab me in the testicles very hard and I shouted out.
Dr.. "Did that hurt?"
Me.. "Of course it hurt, you poked me in the bolloxs"
Dr.. " Does this hurt?
Me.. "Yes, you just poked my bollock again"
Dr.. " Excuse me while I just move your penis"
Me.." If I knew you were going to get my tackle out I would have removed the ring"
Dr.."It gives me something to put my pen through to hold it with, does this hurt?"
Me.."Would you please stop poking my bollock?"
We proceeded like this for quite a long time.
Nothing but soft tissue damage but he says it will take months to heal
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[paulmeldrum]

very funny, i especially like the pen through the ring part, classic
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HYOSUNG GT650R, SCORPION TITANIUM CAN, REAR HUGGER, 14 TOOTH FRONT SPROCKET, HEL PERFORMANCE LINES, CRASH BUNGS, DB SCREEN, SINGLE SEAT COWL

[neatbik]

I knew this was posted by you before i even read your name
Glad its nothing serious, and cheers for making me

[craigs23]

Are you Cyrill Green?

[virus]

aha!!! caught you out that time, i swallowed my mouthful of tea before reading no monitor wiping for me now

never fail to put a smile on my face mate, your a legend
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own: 81 xs1100g...
owned: 85 rat CG (sold), 91 GS500e (stolen), 84 gsx400f (scrapped), 81 z250 (siezed, siezed, scrapped), 83 cb250rs (sold), 84 gpz750r ratfighter (killed) 84gpz400 (sold), '80 cb650 ratfighter (wrote off) 95gsx6/12f ratfighter (killed) 91 xj900 (sold)
stinkwheel Well I just had my hands up a pigs fanny. Which makes your concerns pale into insignificance.

[Grav]

My back hurts again....... I really must stop reading your posts, Ariel.

Snigger.....
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Dark Lord Of Custard

snigger.....

[mistergixer]

[Ariel Badger]

[Mjolnir]

You really know how to tell a story!

Hope it heals well.

[Pete.]

Great story

A few years back one of the guys at work found a large heavy gold ring on site, and picked it up and kept it. Some time later another of the guys was going frantic coz he had lost his Prince Albert
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a.k.a 'Geri'

132.9mph off and walked away. Gear is good, gear is good, gear is very very good

[olionel]

ye I went to the docks last year with ballache.. had to do the std test n everything.. thankfully was clear.. then I went again... turns out its a groin strain and its gona take ages to heal... he told me to stop playing football on sundays... joke...
____________________
1989 CG125 - Childhood Sweetheart (she got kidnapped by baddies)
1998 ZXR400 - Teenage Love (lasted three years, then she turned lesbian and left me)
2001 XRV750 - Wife Material (still getting to know her but head over heels in love)

[Ariel Badger]

See that is why I dig my Doc. He climbs mountains and rides push bikes long distances in third world countries, he knows that it is important that you injure yourself on a regular basis for a short but happy life. People that live to 106 have not tried hard enough IMHO.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[Mudskipper]

[Skudd]

[DEN MONKEY]

The best bit is you paid him to poke you in the bollox.

Normally there is some sort of relief at the end of such a session where you get ya gear out and end up paying well for it.
You said he was old, maybe for an extra few bucks he would have taken his teeth out for you
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meh

[Tarmacsurfer]

This forum is starting to play with my head. I read this thread title then totally misread the one under it as "Do you shirtlift?"
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I'm immortal. Well, so far.

[Ariel Badger]

Three things.

This morning I felt fine but put my foot down hard steping off thr pavement and had a horendous stabbing pain in my groin. I have had pain all day like somthing big and hard has been forced up my bum.

My 5 remaining cheapo pants had disapeared, seems the ferret had dragged them upstairs and made a nest.

No flowers or chocolates off the Dr, he never even phoned.
____________________
Bikers make great organ donors, get 115 on your licence today.

[DEN MONKEY]

https://www.pcmtl.com/public/misc/this_thread_is_useless_without_pics.gif
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meh