Draconian security devices

[Cigaro]

I've been thinking about various security systems for the next bike.

A quite good one, I think, would be to simply connect 240 volt mains power to the bike's metal frame. My back yard has a damp concrete floor. I could put a switch in the house to turn it on and off.

After all, if they got shocked, what are they going to do? Call the police?

(By the way, this is a serious idea - I think it'd work very well.)

Anyone else got any ideas?

[Shay HTFC]

Same idea, but maybe some sort of bike cover that has a mesh of wire on the outside that you hook up to the system.

Would pumping high volts through your bike not maybe cause a short or something?

P.S. It's high amps that cause damage, not high volts. Bear this in mind when you want to cause the most pain
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Full Motorbike License - GS500E '95

[Kickstart]

[Shay HTFC]

[Finglonga]

Years ago my mate kept getting some scrote tyring break in to his garage through a small window above the side door. My mate put silver foil top and bottom connected to the mains so that anyone climbing through would get a good belt.

He was charged with ABH as it caught a 14yr old tring to climb in and the lad left a peice of his scalp on the top bit of foil. The lad wasn't charged with anything.
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Andy Sez....
F.Y.Y.F.F.

[Dalemac]

[Cigaro]

[V2]

you have to have about 10000 warning signs per metre of fence, youre better off with some decorative broken glass bottles attached to the top of said wall/fence.

[Itchy]

[Itchy]

the best traps are those that look like accidents, and thus:

Lye ---> drain cleaner , causes awful chemical burns , the excuse is that you were cleaning your drains recently.

Put it on a window frame (and remember not to touch it yourself covering it with cling film) , retarted chavs will find water to cool the burning water makes it worse.

Poorly wired light switch = plausible excuse.

Bamboo grown underneath windows with long drops (punji sticks)


The perfect trap for windows I just thought up,

A weak say balsa wood box , inside containing an open bottle of lye , and or course water and lime powder with a padlock and hasp on the front to give it plausible deniability.

Onto of this you grow bamboo,

Scrote climbs in , gets burns on his hands lets go and is impaled on the bamboo, at the same time crushing the box and being covered in lye and water, you inside hear blood curdling screams? , turn up the radio, and leave them for a bit.
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Spain 2008France 2007Big one 2009 We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will. In the end, your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it is worth watching.

[Kal]

[Shay HTFC]

Itchy, I fucking love you
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Full Motorbike License - GS500E '95

[skiberd123]

haha itchy is kinda twisted...
how about some sort of pressure pad under the bike that if released lets a giant stone boulder go? and a collection of natives with bows and arrows?

[Barker-CBR 600]

I think it was on here i read about the ladder trick.

If you have a wall or something that needs climbing (or a high window/roof access etc ) to get into your stuff.

Get a nice big wooden ladder and leaving it right beneath the best spot to climb up, a typical invitation to try and steal.

But carefully saw through a few of the upper rungs and then place them back together so they are held in place by their own weight.

Someone sets it up, gets 3/4 the way up and treads/ grabs the broken rungs and splat... falls.

And no officer i had no idea the ladder was broken, but then again i have never used it
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Previous - Gilera DNA50 / XVS125 Dragstar/Honda CBR 600F/GSF 650 Bandit
Current - 2013 Suzuki VZ800 Intruder
'Is this a rhetorical question?'

[Shay HTFC]

[Barker-CBR 600]

I put so much rat poison down cause i'm having real trouble with them lately...
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Previous - Gilera DNA50 / XVS125 Dragstar/Honda CBR 600F/GSF 650 Bandit
Current - 2013 Suzuki VZ800 Intruder
'Is this a rhetorical question?'

[truslack]

[Barker-CBR 600]

Hmm got any more details? What did they get done on etc?

Not questioning it sounds exactly like what would happen i am just interested to know what the buggers use as grounds to sue.

Bloody lawyer bastards.

I will never understand the

'I was trying to illegally break into your property when xxx happened and now i am sueing you'.

grrr,

nowadays if you meet an intruder you got to cook them dinner, shine their shoes and bend over first or they'll probably do you for sexual harrassment of their mothers sisters cat.
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Previous - Gilera DNA50 / XVS125 Dragstar/Honda CBR 600F/GSF 650 Bandit
Current - 2013 Suzuki VZ800 Intruder
'Is this a rhetorical question?'

[truslack]

Sorry, I don't know any details other than those stated above, it was a good couple of years ago, but if I remember correctly it put the couple that were getting broken into severely into debt, whereas the thief got no punishment. (as he hadn't actually managed to get into the house before the ladder broke)
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Current: Suzuki RG 125 Gamma, Honda H100, Triumph Tiger 800XC, Suzuki SV650 (minitwin)

[Shay HTFC]

[iooi]

[V2]

fuck the kittens!

when did they make it illegal??

[Proview]

ouch i like the ladder idea

But personaly if i had troubles with little wankers nicking my stuff i would personaly just shoot at them and then say i was trying to hunt rabbits in the garden and these kids just appeared and couldnt see them very well

I have a hunting licence so my excuse is plausable
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Aerox R 50cc 2008 ,Aerox RR 2002, Mbk Nitro 2001, Beta RRT Elf racing series ,1989 Beta trueba Needs fixing
! ! ! -Pat- ! ! !
Gonna wrap a teatowel around the lid nextime..y'know for relgious reasons

[Finglonga]

[Itchy]