Theory *bullshit*

[killa]

What a load of guff.....ok yippee first of all, i passed my driving theory test, which co-insidently i've taken a theory test bike/car over 5 times now.....either because of expiry, i've been banned or failed.

Anyways, i know the drill, pass the grumpy old fart your licence who scowls at you depending on how clean/dirty it is. Then i had to sign on the electronic pad with a touch screen pen, apparently it didn't match, i had to do it again. WTF, let me write it down, this is BULLSHIT. He got me to sign it twice, i can't remember the last time i tried to write on ice with a the wrong end of a pencil but this is what it replicates im sure.

Then they send you into the room with the computers. I haven't been there for a few years, but the staff haven't changed, all cunts.
I hadn't read the itinery, i knew the time and the place when i booked online, so just turned up.

I get on with the questions and when i get through a few i look into the bottom right of the screen.....15 of 50!
Fu** sake, 50 questions, this BULLSHIT!

I smirk at some of the new questions, I’ve done this a fair few times now and revised also.
They've re-worded questions, they've changed orientation of some questions to confuse. Now, the 50 questions didn't bother me, i was pretty confident. The thing that really pisses me off is the fact that this now costs more money, there is a huge amount of questions to choose from, and all they've done is simply tap in to the system 50 not 35 and ask for more money.

So i end up getting 45 out of 50, you need 43 to pass.

I'm not exactly ecstatic, but pleased purely because i don't have money to throw at a fu**ing memory game.

A memory game is all it fuc*ing is, memorise the questions, work around the subtle confusion thrown in, and bobs your auntie, you can now attempt to pass your practical.

Bullshit

Ok, picture this.

You open the envelope, and lets pretend I failed.

What i'm aiming for i guess is to get some understanding about the do's and don’ts on the road today, so i need to be prepared next time. So what the fu** is this about?
You get say 5 questions wrong, they list how many you got wrong and then simply tell you in what area you fu**ed up in.

Example

You and your vehicle - 2
Hazards and awareness - 2
Road signs - 1

HOW DOES THIS FUCKING HELP?!

So out of hundreds of possible answers to these 'areas' of questions you have to go away and guess at the one's you got wrong try your best to revise and memorise it all or else you're going to be a very skint driver.

I could go on all day, and when it comes to the questions, holy shi*…..why don’t they give you a hat with a dick on the front just in case you forget where you stand?

Here’s one for you, one that I got in the test.

https://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y278/Killa127/question.jpg

Now I know, being the absolute retards they are, what answer they would like. So to pass, I clicked it.
But seriously…. There’s a van, two car pile up, you arrive at the scene, it’s a quiet country road. The van driver is hurt, but not badly, the second car has been shunted by the other car behind is leaking petrol, passengers inside are screaming as the doors seem to be jammed.

The DSA ideally would like you to stand with your hands in your pockets, not putting yourself at risk. The emergency services will only be between 5-10 minutes and by that time your problem maybe be solved as a fire may break out and engulf those people who are screaming.
In the real world, however, I’m sure this wouldn’t be the case. But in the case of a £30 memory game, let em burn.
Bullshit.

Fuc* you DSA, fuc* you DVLA.


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Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
Bike:- Yamaha TRX850 | Killas Biking History | Killas Gaming History | Killas autmotive history

[thegubner]

If its any consolation I got 100% on mine.

[T1z3R]

..zzZZZ
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duck my sick!

[killa]

[ms51ves3]

Has anyone ever got 100% on the whole thing? It must be pretty hard to do it on Hazard Perception.

[Stelmer]

I did the car one a year after it came out and the bike one 9 years later.

In all that time it is still the same patronising dribble that is common sense to about 95% of the population.

[scootabk]

If someone can scream then you know they're breathing, tell them to shut the flip up and you go to the casualty who's quiet first, as they're probably a lot more serisously injured

[thegubner]

[Jaloopa]

Most are common sense, but there are a few that just require knowledge of pretty arbitrary things (who knows stopping distances off by heart, and who's ever A: used the knowledge or B: found them to be accurate?)
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mattsprattuk wrote: but at least the lifan could do like 104mph in 3rd gear

[Skudd]

With regards to the accident question what they are looking for is that you don't become another casualty for the services to deal with. if you can sort things out then fine, but don't make things worse.
The theory may not be the best way but it is one way to get people to at least have some thought about the road and other users of it. You could learn by rote or you could understand the road and its ways. I know which I would prefer.

As for the 50 questions as an ADI I had 100 questions and a minimum pass mark of 94% I got 100% as for the Hazard perception test I got 73 out of 75.

I do put it down to 24 years on a motorbike though and knowing the knack of doing the test.

If you have a better way please feel free to tell me and I could sell them to the DSA.
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Famous last words of Humpty Dumpty. " Stop pushing me "
Petty Anarchists look at "1984".............. The Visionary looks at "Animal Farm".

[ms51ves3]