arse wiping

Jayne · Renault 5 Driver Joined: 07 May 2007 Karma :

Why is it that no matter how long i spend wiping my arse it's never clean -_-;

and even when it is if i sweat even a smidge it's suddenly not again...

WTF... Confused

am i lacking something in my diet or something Confused

..... · Quote Me Happy Joined: 15 Jan 2005 Karma :

You've obviously had too much willy up your bum.

Tampon time.

https://www.n-brand.com/Tampon.JPG

Whosthedaddy · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Karma :

You could try some of this if you don't want a dirty looking ring.

Anal bleaching
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tutton · World Chat Champion Joined: 04 Jan 2008 Karma :

I find finishing the shit before wiping extremely beneficial and has the added bonus of not blocking up the lavatory every session. Laughing

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Ste · Not Work Safe Joined: 01 Sep 2002 Karma :

Sounds like you've got trench arse. It's just like trench foot, only it's your arse rather than your foot.

Go and take lots of laxatives to clear everything out, or go and take lots of imodium to stop anything from moving. Or you could take lots of both and see what happens next. Thumbs Up

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

Glen · Spanner Monkey Joined: 15 Nov 2006 Karma :

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Misc · World Chat Champion Joined: 15 Aug 2005 Karma :

Whosthedaddy · Super Spammer Joined: 11 Dec 2005 Karma :

Flip · Super Spammer Joined: 28 Feb 2004 Karma :

mrs throttle · Derestricted Danger Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Karma :

try using baby wipes, sounds crazy but they are very good for freshning up that area and cleans better than toilet roll!

mrs throttle · Derestricted Danger Joined: 02 Jul 2008 Karma :

try using baby wipes, sounds crazy but they are very good for freshning up that area and cleans better than toilet roll!

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

I'm surprised its taken someone this long to recommend baby wipes.

You load of mingers!

Laughing

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hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

My sister has one of them showers that has several jets all around the shower at different levels: if you bend over ... its a perfect arse-washing device. Shame my bathroom is too small to fit one of them into. Else I'd have one right now Cool

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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

thegubner · World Chat Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2007 Karma :

What do you mean by wiping?

hellkat · Super Spammer Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

What, as opposed to, say ... scratching?
Wink

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Not nearly as interesting in real life.

chris-red · Have you considered a TDM? Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Karma :

So many lies in this thread,

All blokes know that girls don't poo, even if they did they would be little malteasers that smell like the body shop.
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veeeffarr · Super Spammer Joined: 22 Jul 2004 Karma :

Wafer_Thin_Ham · Super Spammer Joined: 18 Nov 2005 Karma :

Kal · World Chat Champion Joined: 02 Jan 2007 Karma :

stinkwheel · Bovine Proctologist Joined: 12 Jul 2004 Karma :

Yes, the viz magazine referrs to this as having an "Arse like a marmite pot.".

Maybe you need more fibre in your diet? If you eat a lot of fat and protein you get really slimy shits that never wipe away.

Eat a load of muesli/salad etc and you get a "ghoster" shit (you felt it come out but there is nothing on the paper and nothing in the pan).

Of course blokes arseholes are a different shape to womens ones. womens being almost circular and blokes being more elliptical. As a general rule blokes ones aren't quite as watertight. This gives rise to one of my mates sayings "Women wear underwear to look good. Men wear it to stop them getting shit on their trousers."

Could also be a good old case of sweaty ring piece. Avoid synthetic underwear and prolonged periods of sitting on plastic chairs.
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ms51ves3 · Super Spammer Joined: 08 Jun 2007 Karma :

GhostRider · World Chat Champion Joined: 31 Jan 2008 Karma :

'Tis a usual occurence, I often say that if you aint flushed at least twice once you've given bungle a burial at sea, then you didnt have a shit, you just farted and a bit of poo came out by accident.

GhostRider
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